apocalypsos | I hate birds.

16:58 I was going to make a crack about not giving a shit about Kim Kardashian's first marriage but her other first marriage ruined my joke. #
08:39 If you're quadrupling a $12 mil mansion's size b/c it doesn't fit your needs, your needs better involve donating a huge homeless shelter. #
09:42 I really should retry to sell that hilariously right-leaning thirty-year-old board game I have. #
09:44 You play with criminals, victims, and "liberals", and you can use your "liberals" to get your opponents' criminals released ... (cont.) #
09:45 ... at which point their criminals attack their victims. And it's all your stupid "liberals"'s fault. #imgoingtoplaydressedlikebachmann #
09:52 "@thinkprogress: Santorum: "There was no one closer to George Bush ..." Not even Laura! Oh, wait ... #
09:53 Urgh. Anyone want to option Heroine Addiction so I never have to go back to my day job again? :( #
10:31 Heroine Addiction, by yours truly. t.co/gaMT6Wq #ebooks #kindle #lgbt #superheroes #books #glbt #pleasebuymybook #shamewhatshame #
10:34 The bank and post office are not moving quickly enough for my needs in any way, shape or form. #
10:35 Speaking of, if I get my Zune cable, hook up my player, and it doesn't charge, I may have an unapologetic sobfest. #
11:23 @truelyesoteric *Kimberly* Stewart, bb. Not Kristen, although that would probabkt be funnier. #
11:39 Am trapped under a sleeping cat. Please send a crowbar and a bottle of olive oil so I can free myself. #
12:46 You'd think if God didn't create gay people to have gay sex, he wouldn't have made it easy for gay sex to end with orgasms. #
12:48 Also, if God only wanted us to have sex for procreation, you'd think he'd let us go into heat. It seems to work a hell of a lot better. #
12:54 As a virgin, I'd tell anyone who thinks everyone can be abstinent that I'm also a Nigerian princess w/a great business opportunity for you. #
13:04 Dear postal service: Anytime you'd like to scan my Zune cable's location, I'd appreciate it. #
13:11 @TakenByTheWind I sent for another cable b/c the 1st one was already loose before it fell apart. I'm not giving up on a 120Gb player. :( #