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May. 21st, 2004 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosWell, I got bored today while I was at work, and I had my mind on disaster movies, because I picked up the Airport Terminal DVD set today. (Dude, all four Airport movies for 25 bucks?! Someone out there loves me and wants me to be happy.) So, as such, I present an alphabetical list much like my war movies list, but shorter, because there's frankly less of these.
The Top Ten Disaster Movies I Cannot Be Expected to Live Without
1. Airplane! -- Oh, it is so a disaster movie. Airplane! is to disaster movies what Scary Movie was to horror movies (although a thousand times funnier). Yes, the airplane troubles are cheesy, but that's the point, goofball.
2. Airport -- I think I'll just sit here and snuggle with my box set.
3. Alive -- You can't make this shit up, 'cause quite frankly, if it weren't a true story, no one would buy it. (And we're talking about a genre in which mile-high tidal waves are commonplace.) Can you imagine the pitch session if it weren't true? "Well, there's this plane full of rugby players, and it crashes. But not just any crash -- it crashes in the Andes! In the cold! With no food so that they end up eating each other! And then there's an avalanche ..."
4. Armageddon -- Armageddon is ridiculously stupid. Liv Tyler could go anywhere she wanted, dressed any way she wanted. Ben Affleck is the one guy on the planet Bruce Willis can depend on. And did you notice that they made Owen Wilson a geologist?! But it's vastly amusing for all its idiocy, somewhere between the parts that are actually funny and the other parts that would entertain Joel and the 'bots for hours.
5. Daylight -- Okay, here's the thing. I watch disaster movies to be amused. They make me laugh, and the more people who get crushed by falling debris, the better. But this movie has three real, honest-to-God fears of mine -- flooding, tunnel collapse, and Sylvester Stallone. And hey, look, it's Viggo Mortensen being all heroic and stuff! (And getting squished in the end, but still ... *squeals*)
6. Disaster in Time -- You've probably seen this movie in passing on a weekend afternoon and just don't know the name. I love this flick for featuring two of my favorite sci-fi "kinks" -- disasters and time travel. It features Jeff Daniels as a widowed innkeeper with an annoyingly precocious daughter who takes in a band of strange people who claim to be sightseeing. As to what they're sightseeing ... well, why ruin the surprise?
7. Earthquake -- One of my Holy Trinity, Earthquake gets bonus points for SuperGeorge (George Kennedy, who has superhuman abilities you couldn't possibly fathom), destroying the whole of L.A., and a very, very cute puppy. And really, how often do you see those elements combined?
8. The Poseidon Adventure -- Doo, doo DOO! SuperPriest! Okay, so maybe that was kind of dorky, but this one stands as my favorite of all time for the little things, like Shelley Winters' death scene (Hey, YOU try making that choking sound) and the look on Leslie Neilsen's face as the wave approaches. ("Oh, my God." *snerk* His delivery of that line is priceless.)
9. Titanic -- Once you ignore the fact that Jim Cameron has been married to about twenty-seven different women and wouldn't know romantic dialogue if it snuggled up to him at night and lovingly fondled him in naughty places, you've got to admit that at least the sinking of the Titanic was handled in a detailed, chilling way. (Even if two hours worth of Kate and Leo making goo-goo eyes at each other and mentally debating which one of them was prettier is a trial. Urgh.)
10. The Towering Inferno -- I'm sorry, but I can't help but put this on the list. Dude, it's got OJ Simpson in it! In a heroic role! Doesn't that terrify the hell out of you? Admit it ... you know you want to ... show me on the doll where the bad man touched you ... aaaaaand that suddenly ended up in a different place than it started.
1. Airplane! -- Oh, it is so a disaster movie. Airplane! is to disaster movies what Scary Movie was to horror movies (although a thousand times funnier). Yes, the airplane troubles are cheesy, but that's the point, goofball.
2. Airport -- I think I'll just sit here and snuggle with my box set.
3. Alive -- You can't make this shit up, 'cause quite frankly, if it weren't a true story, no one would buy it. (And we're talking about a genre in which mile-high tidal waves are commonplace.) Can you imagine the pitch session if it weren't true? "Well, there's this plane full of rugby players, and it crashes. But not just any crash -- it crashes in the Andes! In the cold! With no food so that they end up eating each other! And then there's an avalanche ..."
4. Armageddon -- Armageddon is ridiculously stupid. Liv Tyler could go anywhere she wanted, dressed any way she wanted. Ben Affleck is the one guy on the planet Bruce Willis can depend on. And did you notice that they made Owen Wilson a geologist?! But it's vastly amusing for all its idiocy, somewhere between the parts that are actually funny and the other parts that would entertain Joel and the 'bots for hours.
5. Daylight -- Okay, here's the thing. I watch disaster movies to be amused. They make me laugh, and the more people who get crushed by falling debris, the better. But this movie has three real, honest-to-God fears of mine -- flooding, tunnel collapse, and Sylvester Stallone. And hey, look, it's Viggo Mortensen being all heroic and stuff! (And getting squished in the end, but still ... *squeals*)
6. Disaster in Time -- You've probably seen this movie in passing on a weekend afternoon and just don't know the name. I love this flick for featuring two of my favorite sci-fi "kinks" -- disasters and time travel. It features Jeff Daniels as a widowed innkeeper with an annoyingly precocious daughter who takes in a band of strange people who claim to be sightseeing. As to what they're sightseeing ... well, why ruin the surprise?
7. Earthquake -- One of my Holy Trinity, Earthquake gets bonus points for SuperGeorge (George Kennedy, who has superhuman abilities you couldn't possibly fathom), destroying the whole of L.A., and a very, very cute puppy. And really, how often do you see those elements combined?
8. The Poseidon Adventure -- Doo, doo DOO! SuperPriest! Okay, so maybe that was kind of dorky, but this one stands as my favorite of all time for the little things, like Shelley Winters' death scene (Hey, YOU try making that choking sound) and the look on Leslie Neilsen's face as the wave approaches. ("Oh, my God." *snerk* His delivery of that line is priceless.)
9. Titanic -- Once you ignore the fact that Jim Cameron has been married to about twenty-seven different women and wouldn't know romantic dialogue if it snuggled up to him at night and lovingly fondled him in naughty places, you've got to admit that at least the sinking of the Titanic was handled in a detailed, chilling way. (Even if two hours worth of Kate and Leo making goo-goo eyes at each other and mentally debating which one of them was prettier is a trial. Urgh.)
10. The Towering Inferno -- I'm sorry, but I can't help but put this on the list. Dude, it's got OJ Simpson in it! In a heroic role! Doesn't that terrify the hell out of you? Admit it ... you know you want to ... show me on the doll where the bad man touched you ... aaaaaand that suddenly ended up in a different place than it started.
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Date: 2004-05-21 06:28 pm (UTC)Oooh. I love this movie! I haven't seen it in ages though.
All in all and very good list.
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Date: 2004-05-21 06:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-21 06:44 pm (UTC)Was that one made for TV? Because if it was, I think I know with one it is...
I think.
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Date: 2004-05-21 06:44 pm (UTC)Ooh, speaking of, the next time I'm in NOVA, we have to do a "Troy" snark-fest/MST. 'Cause while I was at the theater today, I kept hearing snarky comments outta you... :)
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Date: 2004-05-21 07:05 pm (UTC)Those little moments of really really good make all the "Jack Jack there's a boat Jack there's a Jack boat there's Jack a boat Jack boat Jack Jack a Jack boat is Jack there" even more obnoxious.
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Date: 2004-05-21 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-21 07:39 pm (UTC)*mwah!*
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Date: 2004-05-21 07:55 pm (UTC)And Titanic and the GUY BOUNCING OFF THE PROPELLER! WHEEEEEE! *cheers*
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Date: 2004-05-21 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-22 12:56 am (UTC)Ohh, by the way. Have you ever seen Tank Girl? Cuz, yannow. Post-apocalyptic wasteland with artcar-style military-grade weaponry and a completely random musical number. Who couldn't love it?
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Date: 2004-05-22 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-22 10:03 am (UTC)I think that says a lot about one of us, at least.
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Date: 2004-05-22 10:42 pm (UTC)I so know what you mean! I love any movie as much as the next person, but sometimes you just need to see some people crushed, exploded, tossed overboard, impaled, decapitated, smeared, or otherwise badly beaten up. I haven't watched nearly as many of them as you have, but sometimes they can be so much fun!
Rationalization time!
Date: 2004-05-23 08:52 am (UTC)I just watched this movie again and a couple things occur to me.
1. It was Florida in summer.
2. Harry said he wouldn't go if they didn't bring Grace.
3. It was a global emergency. I'm pretty sure that however she was dressed made no difference, and that she had been given go-wherever-she-wants clearance 'cause her Daddy was King Asteroid Smasher.
4. There is no four. I can't really justify Harry trusting AJ after being a big hotdogger.
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Date: 2004-05-23 08:58 am (UTC)The old couple got to me too. And definitely the designer setting his watch.
And that painful, painful scene of the woman in the beautiful gown floating dead in the water with the ballroom lights behind her. Gorgeous and tragic.
And I didn't mind the whole Jack/Rose thing that much to begin with.