(no subject)
Feb. 27th, 2005 10:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosOh, poor Emmy Rossum. She has to go up on stage specifically to kiss Beyonce's ass. Jesus, Beyonce, could you wear a few more diamonds? Okay, so you're not murdering this song like you did the one from The Chorus, but still. Just out of curiosity, how long does it take for them to reapply your eyeshadow for every performance? Or did you have removable eyelids put in just to make tonight easier? 'Cause, seriously, anything's got to be easier than applying a gallon and a half of eyeshadow between performances.
What the hell is Jay-Z doing there? Oh, right, the answer to that question is he's doing Beyonce. *nods*
"Comedy superstar Jeremy Irons". That shouldn't be amusing, except it sounds like a really good suggestion. I want to see Jeremy Irons in a comedy NOW. Dude, was that short film nominee asleep? And the winner is ... Wasp, whatever the hell that is. Hee. She said "dog's bollocks." You don't know me, but I'm five. :)
AUGH. I'm going to have nightmares about Laura Linney's hair. And I'm really sick of typing "Laura Linney's hair," so from now on, instead of saying it, I'm just going to scream as if it were Peewee's secret word. And I'm going to scream not because it's the secret word, but because it's frightening my unborn grandchildren. Aaaaaaaand the award goes to Ryan. It'd be nice if anybody could actually see some of these things. *sigh*
Kate Winslet comes out to present Best Cinematography. They describe her as a four-time nominee. DAMN IT. Give her one already. JESUS. And the award goes to ... The Aviator. Can you all see Martin Scorcese's Best Director win coming? 'Cause I think I see it right there on the horizon.
*perks up like a hyperactive puppy* I hear the Terminator theme! Ah, soothing me with my favorite movie score. Gil Cates, you whore. Musical bribery will get you nowhere. (Although if anybody has the score and wants to send it to me, I'll have sex with you. No, really.)
Yay, nice breast joke, Chris. No, really. Nice breast joke, because God knows we needed the prompting to not take our eyes off Penelope Cruz's and Salma Hayek's chests. Sound Mixing goes to ... Ray. Seems only fair for a musical.
And now for Sound Editing. Wait, did they make two women for whom English is a second language do this on purpose? 'Cause STOP THAT. Dude, give The Incredibles another Oscar ... and they did! Good. God, I can't wait to get that movie on DVD on March 15. Well, jeez, Gil Cates, you saved so much time with your fucked-up new presentation thingies, you'd think you wouldn't have to play anyone off. *slow clap*
Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas? How much do you want to bet that this is the best performance of the night? Well, it is, but Antonio? This is shampoo. Shampoo, this is Antonio. I hope you have a long and lovely relationship, starting five minutes ago. Kthxbi.
What the hell is Jay-Z doing there? Oh, right, the answer to that question is he's doing Beyonce. *nods*
"Comedy superstar Jeremy Irons". That shouldn't be amusing, except it sounds like a really good suggestion. I want to see Jeremy Irons in a comedy NOW. Dude, was that short film nominee asleep? And the winner is ... Wasp, whatever the hell that is. Hee. She said "dog's bollocks." You don't know me, but I'm five. :)
AUGH. I'm going to have nightmares about Laura Linney's hair. And I'm really sick of typing "Laura Linney's hair," so from now on, instead of saying it, I'm just going to scream as if it were Peewee's secret word. And I'm going to scream not because it's the secret word, but because it's frightening my unborn grandchildren. Aaaaaaaand the award goes to Ryan. It'd be nice if anybody could actually see some of these things. *sigh*
Kate Winslet comes out to present Best Cinematography. They describe her as a four-time nominee. DAMN IT. Give her one already. JESUS. And the award goes to ... The Aviator. Can you all see Martin Scorcese's Best Director win coming? 'Cause I think I see it right there on the horizon.
*perks up like a hyperactive puppy* I hear the Terminator theme! Ah, soothing me with my favorite movie score. Gil Cates, you whore. Musical bribery will get you nowhere. (Although if anybody has the score and wants to send it to me, I'll have sex with you. No, really.)
Yay, nice breast joke, Chris. No, really. Nice breast joke, because God knows we needed the prompting to not take our eyes off Penelope Cruz's and Salma Hayek's chests. Sound Mixing goes to ... Ray. Seems only fair for a musical.
And now for Sound Editing. Wait, did they make two women for whom English is a second language do this on purpose? 'Cause STOP THAT. Dude, give The Incredibles another Oscar ... and they did! Good. God, I can't wait to get that movie on DVD on March 15. Well, jeez, Gil Cates, you saved so much time with your fucked-up new presentation thingies, you'd think you wouldn't have to play anyone off. *slow clap*
Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas? How much do you want to bet that this is the best performance of the night? Well, it is, but Antonio? This is shampoo. Shampoo, this is Antonio. I hope you have a long and lovely relationship, starting five minutes ago. Kthxbi.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:22 am (UTC)You'd think with all that money and all the access to famous hairdressers, makeup artists, fashion designers, etc - that these people would never look anything less than fabulous.
And Beyonce's version of Learn to be Lonely sucked. They should've just let Minnie Driver sing it.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:23 am (UTC)Even a mime would have been better.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:24 am (UTC)-blue
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:33 am (UTC)I was thinking the SAME damn thing. They both handled it well but still, a few times they looked like "OMGWTF". They both are beautiful women though.
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 03:43 am (UTC)Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas? How much do you want to bet that this is the best performance of the night? Well, it is, but Antonio? This is shampoo. Shampoo, this is Antonio. I hope you have a long and lovely relationship, starting five minutes ago. Kthxbi.
*dies*
no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 06:13 pm (UTC)That black sparkly eyeshadow scared the hell out of me. It would be great for a night out at a goth club, but performing at the Oscars? Uh, no. It distracted me to no end. And definitely poor Emmy, 'cause her voice wipes the floor with Beyonce's.