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Feb. 27th, 2005 10:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosNatalie Portman comes out to present Best Documentary Short Subject. Boy, her dress isn't holding anything down, is it? Come back, Natalie's boobs! Ahem. And the award goes to ... Mighty Times: The Children's March. "I've been sitting in my bathtub practicing this speech since I was eight." Dude, you can leave your bathtub. And you can practice that speech elsewhere.
"Next, they're going to be giving out Oscars in the parking lot." BWAHAHAHAHA. Just for that, you win my everlasting love, Chris. And now it's time for John Travolta to show up and present Best Score. Oh, give it to Finding Neverland ... and they did! Damn, I need to keep doing that for the rest of the night, 'cause it's worked so far. :)
Martin Scorcese! Hi, Marty! Here's hoping you win! Bah. Another honorary zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (You know, Gil Cates, if you're so determined to shave off time, just mailing these honorary Oscars would save days, maybe even weeks. Months, if Pacino gets any more.)
Annette Bening shows up to present .. something music-related. Sometime this century, she might actually get to what she's presenting. Ah, In Memoriam. This is where I cry, so, you know, don't look at me. *wibbles* Aw, Jerry Orbach. *sniffle* Okay, I was gone by Christopher Reeve.
See, they called him Sean Combs. I was right. The Polar Express was "a hip and creative film"? Pull the other one, P. Diddy, it plays polkas. Dude, seriously, Beyonce has to be just popping off her eyelids and putting on new ones between performances. And is it just me, or is this songs entirely composed of cliches? GYAH. Stop singing. My blood sugar can't take this anymore.
Prince is at the Oscars! YAY. Prince is cool always. And the winner of Best Song is from ... the song from The Motorcycle Diaries. What this says to the Academy -- NEVER INVITE BEYONCE AGAIN, YOU FUCKS.
Oh, shit, it's Sean Penn. Didn't he used to have a sense of humor? I could have sworn he had one once. And the award for Best Actress goes to ... (Can it be somebody other than Annette Bening or Hilary Swank please?) Hilary Swank? Oh, FUCK. She's had two good roles. TWO. *headdesk* And the audience taunted me by going the most nuts for Kate Winslet. Fuck you, audience. The year you give both Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp acting Oscars will be the BEST YEAR EVER. "You can't do that because I haven't gotten to Clint yet." Okay, I'll back her up there. Oh, Hilary, go AWAY. You thanked enough people last time. BAH.
"Next, they're going to be giving out Oscars in the parking lot." BWAHAHAHAHA. Just for that, you win my everlasting love, Chris. And now it's time for John Travolta to show up and present Best Score. Oh, give it to Finding Neverland ... and they did! Damn, I need to keep doing that for the rest of the night, 'cause it's worked so far. :)
Martin Scorcese! Hi, Marty! Here's hoping you win! Bah. Another honorary zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (You know, Gil Cates, if you're so determined to shave off time, just mailing these honorary Oscars would save days, maybe even weeks. Months, if Pacino gets any more.)
Annette Bening shows up to present .. something music-related. Sometime this century, she might actually get to what she's presenting. Ah, In Memoriam. This is where I cry, so, you know, don't look at me. *wibbles* Aw, Jerry Orbach. *sniffle* Okay, I was gone by Christopher Reeve.
See, they called him Sean Combs. I was right. The Polar Express was "a hip and creative film"? Pull the other one, P. Diddy, it plays polkas. Dude, seriously, Beyonce has to be just popping off her eyelids and putting on new ones between performances. And is it just me, or is this songs entirely composed of cliches? GYAH. Stop singing. My blood sugar can't take this anymore.
Prince is at the Oscars! YAY. Prince is cool always. And the winner of Best Song is from ... the song from The Motorcycle Diaries. What this says to the Academy -- NEVER INVITE BEYONCE AGAIN, YOU FUCKS.
Oh, shit, it's Sean Penn. Didn't he used to have a sense of humor? I could have sworn he had one once. And the award for Best Actress goes to ... (Can it be somebody other than Annette Bening or Hilary Swank please?) Hilary Swank? Oh, FUCK. She's had two good roles. TWO. *headdesk* And the audience taunted me by going the most nuts for Kate Winslet. Fuck you, audience. The year you give both Kate Winslet and Johnny Depp acting Oscars will be the BEST YEAR EVER. "You can't do that because I haven't gotten to Clint yet." Okay, I'll back her up there. Oh, Hilary, go AWAY. You thanked enough people last time. BAH.
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Date: 2005-02-28 03:57 am (UTC)Also, I think it's more touching when they have just one person playing the music for it, it makes it more touching for me I guess.
Ok Beyonce and Josh, kill me now y'all. :(