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Mar. 30th, 2005 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosI love my show. I miss my show. I need my show. Fuck heroin. Where's the twelve-step program for this? I'll need it come the end of the season finale.
Locke -- The first rule of the Hair Club for Men is, we do not hunt, kill and skin for our toupees. The second rule of the Hair Club for Men is, if you like it too much, they make you buy the company.
Anyway, casting department, I love you, but sometimes my mind boggles. Yes, it's a coup to get Swoosie Kurtz to play Locke's mother. It's also incredibly bad math, because either that toupee is supposed to make Terry O'Quinn look younger, and NO, or Swoosie Kurtz is just automatically supposed to look twenty years older than Terry O'Quinn, which is an insult to Swoosie Kurtz.
Oh, all right, I'll actually talk about content. Just ... sheesh. Locke's gene pool is fucked up. A mother out of her mind, a father who wanted to rifle through his chest cavity like a junk drawer. Years spent in foster homes, four years in a wheelchair, used to work at Wal-Mart ... hell, hasn't this man suffered enough? But it certainly explains why Locke is a little iffy.
And the light in the big metal thing (and seriously, how frickin' huge is that thing?) is making me think of a kajillion and one things it could be, and most of them, unsurprisingly, are crossovers with other fandoms. WORK BRAIN GODDAMN YOU WORK. Ahem.
Boone -- Okay, so first off, the "There are no survivors of flight 815" thing. There's a reasonable explanation for why people on the mainland would say that. When Oceanic 815 vanished off the radar, the people on the mainland would have immediately start a rescue effort. Obviously, this would have been incredibly difficult. They crashed in the Pacific on an island that's already known to screw up compasses as well as electronic equipment. A search would have focused on locating the beacon from the flight data recorder, which is located in the tail. And the tail? Is long gone. It's entirely possible it ended up in the middle of the ocean, and if it did, all the rescue efforts would have turned up is possibly some light wreckage in the water. Considering the effect of an impact into the ocean, it would be reasonable and easy to assume that the rest of the plane and its passengers were obliterated. Plane crashes, with the right impact, can destroy almost everything to the point where all you find are small pieces and body parts. And in that section of the ocean, predators could easily take care of the remains of victims before rescue efforts could get there to recover them. In that respect, assuming that there were no survivors is pretty much the logical result.
See? Watching too many disaster movies comes in handy. :) And even know, they could dismiss the radio signal as a hoax and still not come looking.
Also, Boone, you're pretty, even when you're covered in blood, but boy, are you stupid. Let's climb into the old plane that's stuck precariously in the tree? The denseness, it burns. I love you, doll, and I'm going to cry next week when you apparently are going to get bumped off, but still. Knock rickety plane to ground, then climb in.
Oh, and ... ACK. Heroin. I hope to God something doesn't make Charlie crack, find some, and use it. (Nope, I refuse to believe it. La la la, I can't hear you.)
Jack -- Okay, see that, Jack? That thing where you were witty and snarky? It made you attractive and showed that you do actually have a personality that's not boring. Keep doing that. Also, the first shot of you being Kate walking up to you where you were shaving ... part of me believes that was thickly veiled meta on the part of the producer or director whatever. You know, 'cause I want to believe that. *snerk*
Kate -- I really want to say something nice about you for once, so making Sawyer go to Jack whether he likes it or not was a good thing. Also, I want your complexion. Okay, I'm done.
Sun -- Sun, I love you, even when they only give you five seconds of screentime. You should get more now, really. 'Cause, you know, they know you speak English. Let's see you do that some more.
Sawyer -- "Do I get a lollipop?" HEE. I love Sawyer sometimes. You know, when they're not just fucking with him and using him to start fights. I know that's sort of his job, but still. And as hot and sexy as he normally looks, those mismatched glasses make me want to throw him against a tree and fuck him blind like the six-pack-abs-possessing criminal bookworm that he is.
Michael/Jin -- Michael, don't you know that about foreign languages? You learn the curse words first. It's the rules. :) Also, I need that porn. Oh, yes. There's a fight, the two of them start giving off more sexual tension than a pair of rubber dildos being held back before someone lets 'em go with a twang ... my mind goes to weird and dirty places. ;)
Sayid -- Hello, all five seconds of Sayid! *waves*
Hurley -- Harry Potter. Steamroller. I love you, man.
Next week: The baby's coming, and Kate gets to play spaz wrangler for Charlie. Boone's dying, and we'd better get some fauxcest mentions, but good.
Locke -- The first rule of the Hair Club for Men is, we do not hunt, kill and skin for our toupees. The second rule of the Hair Club for Men is, if you like it too much, they make you buy the company.
Anyway, casting department, I love you, but sometimes my mind boggles. Yes, it's a coup to get Swoosie Kurtz to play Locke's mother. It's also incredibly bad math, because either that toupee is supposed to make Terry O'Quinn look younger, and NO, or Swoosie Kurtz is just automatically supposed to look twenty years older than Terry O'Quinn, which is an insult to Swoosie Kurtz.
Oh, all right, I'll actually talk about content. Just ... sheesh. Locke's gene pool is fucked up. A mother out of her mind, a father who wanted to rifle through his chest cavity like a junk drawer. Years spent in foster homes, four years in a wheelchair, used to work at Wal-Mart ... hell, hasn't this man suffered enough? But it certainly explains why Locke is a little iffy.
And the light in the big metal thing (and seriously, how frickin' huge is that thing?) is making me think of a kajillion and one things it could be, and most of them, unsurprisingly, are crossovers with other fandoms. WORK BRAIN GODDAMN YOU WORK. Ahem.
Boone -- Okay, so first off, the "There are no survivors of flight 815" thing. There's a reasonable explanation for why people on the mainland would say that. When Oceanic 815 vanished off the radar, the people on the mainland would have immediately start a rescue effort. Obviously, this would have been incredibly difficult. They crashed in the Pacific on an island that's already known to screw up compasses as well as electronic equipment. A search would have focused on locating the beacon from the flight data recorder, which is located in the tail. And the tail? Is long gone. It's entirely possible it ended up in the middle of the ocean, and if it did, all the rescue efforts would have turned up is possibly some light wreckage in the water. Considering the effect of an impact into the ocean, it would be reasonable and easy to assume that the rest of the plane and its passengers were obliterated. Plane crashes, with the right impact, can destroy almost everything to the point where all you find are small pieces and body parts. And in that section of the ocean, predators could easily take care of the remains of victims before rescue efforts could get there to recover them. In that respect, assuming that there were no survivors is pretty much the logical result.
See? Watching too many disaster movies comes in handy. :) And even know, they could dismiss the radio signal as a hoax and still not come looking.
Also, Boone, you're pretty, even when you're covered in blood, but boy, are you stupid. Let's climb into the old plane that's stuck precariously in the tree? The denseness, it burns. I love you, doll, and I'm going to cry next week when you apparently are going to get bumped off, but still. Knock rickety plane to ground, then climb in.
Oh, and ... ACK. Heroin. I hope to God something doesn't make Charlie crack, find some, and use it. (Nope, I refuse to believe it. La la la, I can't hear you.)
Jack -- Okay, see that, Jack? That thing where you were witty and snarky? It made you attractive and showed that you do actually have a personality that's not boring. Keep doing that. Also, the first shot of you being Kate walking up to you where you were shaving ... part of me believes that was thickly veiled meta on the part of the producer or director whatever. You know, 'cause I want to believe that. *snerk*
Kate -- I really want to say something nice about you for once, so making Sawyer go to Jack whether he likes it or not was a good thing. Also, I want your complexion. Okay, I'm done.
Sun -- Sun, I love you, even when they only give you five seconds of screentime. You should get more now, really. 'Cause, you know, they know you speak English. Let's see you do that some more.
Sawyer -- "Do I get a lollipop?" HEE. I love Sawyer sometimes. You know, when they're not just fucking with him and using him to start fights. I know that's sort of his job, but still. And as hot and sexy as he normally looks, those mismatched glasses make me want to throw him against a tree and fuck him blind like the six-pack-abs-possessing criminal bookworm that he is.
Michael/Jin -- Michael, don't you know that about foreign languages? You learn the curse words first. It's the rules. :) Also, I need that porn. Oh, yes. There's a fight, the two of them start giving off more sexual tension than a pair of rubber dildos being held back before someone lets 'em go with a twang ... my mind goes to weird and dirty places. ;)
Sayid -- Hello, all five seconds of Sayid! *waves*
Hurley -- Harry Potter. Steamroller. I love you, man.
Next week: The baby's coming, and Kate gets to play spaz wrangler for Charlie. Boone's dying, and we'd better get some fauxcest mentions, but good.
