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Mar. 30th, 2005 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosI love my show. I miss my show. I need my show. Fuck heroin. Where's the twelve-step program for this? I'll need it come the end of the season finale.
Locke -- The first rule of the Hair Club for Men is, we do not hunt, kill and skin for our toupees. The second rule of the Hair Club for Men is, if you like it too much, they make you buy the company.
Anyway, casting department, I love you, but sometimes my mind boggles. Yes, it's a coup to get Swoosie Kurtz to play Locke's mother. It's also incredibly bad math, because either that toupee is supposed to make Terry O'Quinn look younger, and NO, or Swoosie Kurtz is just automatically supposed to look twenty years older than Terry O'Quinn, which is an insult to Swoosie Kurtz.
Oh, all right, I'll actually talk about content. Just ... sheesh. Locke's gene pool is fucked up. A mother out of her mind, a father who wanted to rifle through his chest cavity like a junk drawer. Years spent in foster homes, four years in a wheelchair, used to work at Wal-Mart ... hell, hasn't this man suffered enough? But it certainly explains why Locke is a little iffy.
And the light in the big metal thing (and seriously, how frickin' huge is that thing?) is making me think of a kajillion and one things it could be, and most of them, unsurprisingly, are crossovers with other fandoms. WORK BRAIN GODDAMN YOU WORK. Ahem.
Boone -- Okay, so first off, the "There are no survivors of flight 815" thing. There's a reasonable explanation for why people on the mainland would say that. When Oceanic 815 vanished off the radar, the people on the mainland would have immediately start a rescue effort. Obviously, this would have been incredibly difficult. They crashed in the Pacific on an island that's already known to screw up compasses as well as electronic equipment. A search would have focused on locating the beacon from the flight data recorder, which is located in the tail. And the tail? Is long gone. It's entirely possible it ended up in the middle of the ocean, and if it did, all the rescue efforts would have turned up is possibly some light wreckage in the water. Considering the effect of an impact into the ocean, it would be reasonable and easy to assume that the rest of the plane and its passengers were obliterated. Plane crashes, with the right impact, can destroy almost everything to the point where all you find are small pieces and body parts. And in that section of the ocean, predators could easily take care of the remains of victims before rescue efforts could get there to recover them. In that respect, assuming that there were no survivors is pretty much the logical result.
See? Watching too many disaster movies comes in handy. :) And even know, they could dismiss the radio signal as a hoax and still not come looking.
Also, Boone, you're pretty, even when you're covered in blood, but boy, are you stupid. Let's climb into the old plane that's stuck precariously in the tree? The denseness, it burns. I love you, doll, and I'm going to cry next week when you apparently are going to get bumped off, but still. Knock rickety plane to ground, then climb in.
Oh, and ... ACK. Heroin. I hope to God something doesn't make Charlie crack, find some, and use it. (Nope, I refuse to believe it. La la la, I can't hear you.)
Jack -- Okay, see that, Jack? That thing where you were witty and snarky? It made you attractive and showed that you do actually have a personality that's not boring. Keep doing that. Also, the first shot of you being Kate walking up to you where you were shaving ... part of me believes that was thickly veiled meta on the part of the producer or director whatever. You know, 'cause I want to believe that. *snerk*
Kate -- I really want to say something nice about you for once, so making Sawyer go to Jack whether he likes it or not was a good thing. Also, I want your complexion. Okay, I'm done.
Sun -- Sun, I love you, even when they only give you five seconds of screentime. You should get more now, really. 'Cause, you know, they know you speak English. Let's see you do that some more.
Sawyer -- "Do I get a lollipop?" HEE. I love Sawyer sometimes. You know, when they're not just fucking with him and using him to start fights. I know that's sort of his job, but still. And as hot and sexy as he normally looks, those mismatched glasses make me want to throw him against a tree and fuck him blind like the six-pack-abs-possessing criminal bookworm that he is.
Michael/Jin -- Michael, don't you know that about foreign languages? You learn the curse words first. It's the rules. :) Also, I need that porn. Oh, yes. There's a fight, the two of them start giving off more sexual tension than a pair of rubber dildos being held back before someone lets 'em go with a twang ... my mind goes to weird and dirty places. ;)
Sayid -- Hello, all five seconds of Sayid! *waves*
Hurley -- Harry Potter. Steamroller. I love you, man.
Next week: The baby's coming, and Kate gets to play spaz wrangler for Charlie. Boone's dying, and we'd better get some fauxcest mentions, but good.
Locke -- The first rule of the Hair Club for Men is, we do not hunt, kill and skin for our toupees. The second rule of the Hair Club for Men is, if you like it too much, they make you buy the company.
Anyway, casting department, I love you, but sometimes my mind boggles. Yes, it's a coup to get Swoosie Kurtz to play Locke's mother. It's also incredibly bad math, because either that toupee is supposed to make Terry O'Quinn look younger, and NO, or Swoosie Kurtz is just automatically supposed to look twenty years older than Terry O'Quinn, which is an insult to Swoosie Kurtz.
Oh, all right, I'll actually talk about content. Just ... sheesh. Locke's gene pool is fucked up. A mother out of her mind, a father who wanted to rifle through his chest cavity like a junk drawer. Years spent in foster homes, four years in a wheelchair, used to work at Wal-Mart ... hell, hasn't this man suffered enough? But it certainly explains why Locke is a little iffy.
And the light in the big metal thing (and seriously, how frickin' huge is that thing?) is making me think of a kajillion and one things it could be, and most of them, unsurprisingly, are crossovers with other fandoms. WORK BRAIN GODDAMN YOU WORK. Ahem.
Boone -- Okay, so first off, the "There are no survivors of flight 815" thing. There's a reasonable explanation for why people on the mainland would say that. When Oceanic 815 vanished off the radar, the people on the mainland would have immediately start a rescue effort. Obviously, this would have been incredibly difficult. They crashed in the Pacific on an island that's already known to screw up compasses as well as electronic equipment. A search would have focused on locating the beacon from the flight data recorder, which is located in the tail. And the tail? Is long gone. It's entirely possible it ended up in the middle of the ocean, and if it did, all the rescue efforts would have turned up is possibly some light wreckage in the water. Considering the effect of an impact into the ocean, it would be reasonable and easy to assume that the rest of the plane and its passengers were obliterated. Plane crashes, with the right impact, can destroy almost everything to the point where all you find are small pieces and body parts. And in that section of the ocean, predators could easily take care of the remains of victims before rescue efforts could get there to recover them. In that respect, assuming that there were no survivors is pretty much the logical result.
See? Watching too many disaster movies comes in handy. :) And even know, they could dismiss the radio signal as a hoax and still not come looking.
Also, Boone, you're pretty, even when you're covered in blood, but boy, are you stupid. Let's climb into the old plane that's stuck precariously in the tree? The denseness, it burns. I love you, doll, and I'm going to cry next week when you apparently are going to get bumped off, but still. Knock rickety plane to ground, then climb in.
Oh, and ... ACK. Heroin. I hope to God something doesn't make Charlie crack, find some, and use it. (Nope, I refuse to believe it. La la la, I can't hear you.)
Jack -- Okay, see that, Jack? That thing where you were witty and snarky? It made you attractive and showed that you do actually have a personality that's not boring. Keep doing that. Also, the first shot of you being Kate walking up to you where you were shaving ... part of me believes that was thickly veiled meta on the part of the producer or director whatever. You know, 'cause I want to believe that. *snerk*
Kate -- I really want to say something nice about you for once, so making Sawyer go to Jack whether he likes it or not was a good thing. Also, I want your complexion. Okay, I'm done.
Sun -- Sun, I love you, even when they only give you five seconds of screentime. You should get more now, really. 'Cause, you know, they know you speak English. Let's see you do that some more.
Sawyer -- "Do I get a lollipop?" HEE. I love Sawyer sometimes. You know, when they're not just fucking with him and using him to start fights. I know that's sort of his job, but still. And as hot and sexy as he normally looks, those mismatched glasses make me want to throw him against a tree and fuck him blind like the six-pack-abs-possessing criminal bookworm that he is.
Michael/Jin -- Michael, don't you know that about foreign languages? You learn the curse words first. It's the rules. :) Also, I need that porn. Oh, yes. There's a fight, the two of them start giving off more sexual tension than a pair of rubber dildos being held back before someone lets 'em go with a twang ... my mind goes to weird and dirty places. ;)
Sayid -- Hello, all five seconds of Sayid! *waves*
Hurley -- Harry Potter. Steamroller. I love you, man.
Next week: The baby's coming, and Kate gets to play spaz wrangler for Charlie. Boone's dying, and we'd better get some fauxcest mentions, but good.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:42 am (UTC)I... I'm stunned.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 02:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 10:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 02:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:56 am (UTC)But he had sexual chemistry with the glasses and with the blowtorch, did you see?
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 05:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 06:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 02:40 am (UTC)Rerurns are fun, I get to see what I missed AND get to read more Cleo recaps.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 05:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 07:13 am (UTC)I'm getting flashes of Krycek in a farm field screaming from behind the door of a shack that holds a SEEKRIT ALIEN SPACESHIP.
Cause, dude, you know whoever opens that hatch is gonna get Black Oil Eyes. And then become a shapeshifter. And then sew their own eyes shut. And then have Scully's baby. And then go randomly insane before discovering an implant in their nose and then finding their clone and their sister's clone.
::shakes head sadly:: It's just a downward, frelled up, confusing spiral once you get started.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 07:03 pm (UTC)*whimpers right before she dissolves into a puddle of drool*
Thank you for that three-way visualization of the afternoon....guh
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 07:54 am (UTC)Poor Boone. POOR BOONE. What did Locke expect, with the blood-covered Boone being creepy? Also, what exactly does Mommy pointing at the sky mean? Just the plane...or is it something else?
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 02:16 pm (UTC)Also, who here thinks Boone pushed the nanny down the stairs for not coming when he called right away? Raise your hands, and raise 'em high.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 02:20 pm (UTC)I don't think she was supposed to point to the sky because Boone was being traumatizing, I think she was there for a specific reason, the same way Boone was. He would have spotted the plane just fine, considering as soon as he realized he was in the wheelchair, he freaked out, got up, and fell to the ground, looking up at the sky.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 03:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 06:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 07:17 am (UTC)He was only six, Teresa could have quit and to stop him doing it again he might have been told that she died.
I'm wondering why he was stuck in his room?
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 11:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 03:42 pm (UTC)Poor Boone. I had almost ruled him out of the pool, too. I'm going to miss my dense, gay, husky-eyed boy in spite of myself.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:10 pm (UTC)Even though I've thought the same thing myself. I just don't like it.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 02:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-31 04:06 pm (UTC)bodiesmedical knowledge. Because medical knowledge is short here. And have Jack and Sun teach the other some shit. Maybe you can get more screen time this way also. Okay, thank you.P.S. Boone, if you live, which I am positive you will, you better tell everyone about
the freaky hatch sexLocke and His Stupid. But try not to mention the Smackfarthing.