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"And that's how you narrate a TV show." BWAHAHAHA. I love Ron Howard. Also, Lucille and Kitty trying to outdrink one another? Priceless.

*****

Gabrielle: Oh, you were sooooo asking for everything. The fight about the hospital check, the screwing around with the birth control, everything. Now, I'm saying this knowing a.) that in your situation, maybe hiding the hospital settlement was a good idea and b.) Carlos screwing with your birth control was a pretty crappy thing to do.

Okay, the bit about the Cayman Islands account ... I can understand now why she was so sure he was guilty, because up to a certain point, she seemed to be backing him up and believing he was innocent. But it's just that her personality has become so smug and grating that I'm still falling on Carlos's side. Considering he's a criminal, that's probably not a good thing.

And really, who didn't see the John-possibly-impregnating-her storyline coming? Although I'm going to savor it, because there's got to be a reason she's going to keep the baby if she hates kids. (Come on, you know damn well, she's not going to get an abortion and end the storyline that way.) And that's so unfair to John, who's a sweetie and the only completely innocent person in this.

When Carlos grabbed her, the man seriously lost a ton of sympathy from me, although I have to admit that Gabby didn't gain a whole bunch out of the deal. That's so going to come to play later on when she gets knocked up, presumably by John, and then has to deal with Carlos's reaction.

Also, John can just keep his shirt off. Yum.

Bree: That peachy sweater? Gorgeous. And as for spanking the terrors -- and I say this as someone who doesn't plan on spanking my kids -- they SO needed it. All Lynette does is scream at those kids, and it's accomplished nothing. A little punishment should do those kids a world of good.

The fact that Bree knows everybody's favorite color amuses me, because that's something I think my mom knows. I love purple, my brother loves red, my mom loves green, and my dad loves blue. (I think.)

Aw, Rex and Bree make such a good team. Stay together, you lovable little conservatives! But now I'm more than a little grateful that Rex got caught cheating for the domination aspect, because Bree's going to feel like she's got someone with an equally perverse sexual inclination to help with Andrew. Is it a good attitude to take about either man's sexual proclivities? No, of course it isn't. But at least Andrew will have someone around to back him up when he says he can't help who he is and who he wants to sleep with, so he's got an ally with Rex.

And if I haven't said it before, I love Bree's hair.

Susan: Those lions you were painting? Pretty! Finally, you showed a good enough picture to make me think you might actually illustrate children's books. 'Cause, seriously, I was starting to wonder. And you and Julie both drink pomegranate juice? Ooo-kay.

Also, LOVE LOVE LOVE Susan's mom, as spastic and mean as she could be. That explains so much. Mike was right. Hee. :) But that sweater you put on to cut up those onions did nothing for you. Well, other than look like you're being eaten alive by a sheep.

And, yay! Bob Newhart is Susan's stepdad! Hee!

Lynette: First off, I loved the dress she was wearing that scene in the beginning, the brown one with the pink flowers, but WTF was up with screeching at the babysitter over the phone? Damn it, woman, your children are holy terrors. Perhaps you should think about sweet-talking babysitters rather than ripping them a new one. But the fact that you were going out for drinks with old co-workers? I was so expecting you to meet up with Dan and Natalie and Casey and Isaac. ;)

Okay, when Bree said she had to punish Porter, the look on Lynette's face just ... *gags* "We don't believe in hitting our kids." And Lynette? That bit about Andrew was incredibly bitchy, even if she did discipline your son in a way you were totally against. And yay for Tom for bringing up the fact that they're giving the kids empty threats. (Although, if Lynette was smacked around by her mother, it explains her being hesitant about disciplining her own kids.)

Although, BWAH. I'll give her credit for saying she'll take them over Bree's and she'll spank them. If she couldn't bring herself to spank the kids, she could at least use a threat that sounded like one. And when she made up with Bree at the end, that was sweet.

Paul and Zach: The woman was trying to steal Zach away from "the only family you've ever known"? Oh, that kid is so adopted. Did Paul and Mary Alice boost him from someone else? It certainly seems plausible with that family. And Zach IS Dana?! *flails* OMG, I love this show sometimes.

Felicia: "This is the place where good taste goes to die." AWESOME.

*****

Also, I see they cleaned it up so you can hear, "No, we're the survivors of flight 815." And they must have flipped the film, because Charlie's crossing himself with the wrong hand. If I'm a lapsed Catholic who can still do it by reflex, then he'd do it right-handed without thought, too.
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