(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

Bill O'Reilly just compared gay marriage to the plot of Jurassic Park.

*headdesk*

Comments

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Whu?

[caitirin.livejournal.com]

WHAT?

girls marrying girls = giant freaking dinosaurs o.O???

Ugh to Bill

[prettyveela.livejournal.com]

Bill O'Reilly is wank.

[insidian.livejournal.com]

Wait... so gay people are born from eggs turned by robot arms? And the first person they see is Richard Attenborough?

[florahart]

*tries to come up with rational comparison*

Gay marriages in mirror may be closer than they seem. Uh...

Because gay people eat goats. No...

Tangled-together gay people falling from the ceiling are always a show-stopper. Well, maybe, but I fail to see...

OH. Because gay people can be cloned from DNA onaccounta it's inborn! Woo!

Except that's far to CLOSE to rational for him. Dammit.

*fails*

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

What, if gays are allowed to marry, it'll be like cloning something that never should have existed in this time period?

How about letting retrograde Neanderthal conservatives have talk shows? Isn't that the same thing?

Actually, now I want to go to every neocon ever and say "You get to be a conservative and as much of an asshat as you desire and try to fuck up the country as much as you can, and I get to be married to my girlfriend and NEITHER of us gets to kill the other, or even stop the other. Because I am thisclose to starting a jihad. Against you."

[bcgphoenix]

I...uh...er...WHAT? *stares*

Please to be explaining.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Per his words, screwing with nature leads to unintended consequences. Or something. *shrug*

[tviokh.livejournal.com]

Gay marriage is...like carnivorous dinosaurs in a park getting loose and eating people?

[gypsyjr.livejournal.com]

Wha? HOW? *brain go 'splody*

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

screwing with nature leads to unintended consequences.

Like...a Billy O'Reilly?

[miggy.livejournal.com]

Gay marriages lead to... improbable GUI setups for a UNIX system?

[scarlett78.livejournal.com]

Do married gay people eat lawyers? Hmmm that doesn't seem right...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

It's a "screw with nature and have unintended consequences" thing. Which is still a "Buh?"

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

OMG the steps of the approaching gay people disturb my water glass and my freaky supergenius gymnastic children must run from them!

[palmetto.livejournal.com]

I know that when my friend Mikey meets a boy, it always ends in a small annoying child being electrocuted on a fence.

[ciara-belle.livejournal.com]

...wait, what?

Well that's something new and different. Normally we have Rick Santorum talking about "screwing" with nature. ;D

Grr...O'Reilly is such an ass.

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

I'll follow his surreal reasoning when the natural history museums start doing dioramas captioned "When Homos Ruled the Earth."

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Okay, but where do the velociraptors come in? Is that some funky anniversary present, like coral?

[robyn-ma.livejournal.com]

What? Gay marriages have Laura Dern giving a really bad performance in the ice-cream-eating scene?

[jim-smith.livejournal.com]

Unintended consequences?

The unintended consquences of Jurassic Park were dinosaurs eating people. The unintended consequences of gay marriage is santorum all over the nice sheets your brother gave you at the reception.

You know why this analogy really doesn't work? Any three-year-old can see the precise stupidity in cloning hundreds of dinosaurs for a theme park, because if you didn't know that was going to happen you wouldn't watch the movie. But the social side effects of gay marriage aren't nearly as obvious, which is why O'Reilly has to compare them to Jurassic Park because he doesn't know why it's bad either. Note that in Jurassic Park, Ian Malcolm never has to compare the park to something else to make his point, because he can just say "this is dumb because the dinosaurs will eat us."

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

Okaaay...gay marriage means that more lawyers will get eaten by savage carnivorous reptiles?

YAAAAY! Despite already being in a straight marriage I will now run out and marry the first guy I see! Won't he be surprised! Unless he's a lawyer, and that means easy divorce! YAAAAY!

So...happiness, love, security, contentment and family growth are "unintended consequences" now?

[jedilora.livejournal.com]

'Cause, you know, marriage is totally natural. Mmhmm. No unintended consequences there.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

No, those are the intended consequences. The unintended consequences are the baby-eating and the puppy-kicking and the arm-flailing Muppets running amok through the streets.

[lasarus.livejournal.com]

Oh God no no no ~headwall~ My head hurts, and not just because of the wall.