(no subject)
Jun. 3rd, 2005 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosSo. Today.
*headdesk*
First off, this is a twenty-dollar bill. *snaps money at friends list* This is keeping me fed for the next week. I have another twenty, but a little careful math has revealed to me that due to my boneheadedness and the increased travel I have to do to get to work now, I'm going to spend pretty much the entire thing on buses over the course of four days next week.
What travel time, you're saying? Oh, the travel time it's going to take me now that the DHL station moved today to a building that's a bitch to get to on a bus. "Great location, my ass" was something I repeated over and over again today. Also, there are no restaurants within walking distance like with the last place. The only reason I got myself a chicken wing and a biscuit from Popeye's for dinner is because one of the girls from work saw what a disaster the move was and decided to make a food run.
And if you want to know why I'm so stressed out, the move is why. I'd really like to know whose stupid idea this was, except I do know who it was and I can't believe Bossman thought it was a good place to move to. It's in the middle of nowhere, and with the weather as icky as it was today ... oh, I'm going to have so much FUN getting there. *seethes*
Let's not even get into my office situation. Then again, let's. That personal office I had to myself before? Gone. Now, I'm sharing a large office with four other people, and the office that's supposed to hold all of my packages is down an entirely different hallway. Did I mention I'm going to have to lug packages back and forth from this stupid room because somebody thought this was a great idea? Also, none of my personal stuff that I packed from the other station arrived today (it's twenty freaking minutes away, for crying out loud) and we don't get to eat at our desks anymore, which means that's a good fifteen minutes or so of work that won't get done. (No, seriously, I actually have to worry about this.) See, this is going to be my new diet -- constantly carrying packages needleesly around and forced starvation by default. *eye roll*
Oh, and that new rule about eating is supposedly on this six-page manifesto I haven't gotten to see yet of things we're not allowed to do in the new building. I was kind of hoping it's like when my mother buys a new car and orders everybody not to eat in it, and two months later, my brother and I would be fishing Long John Silver chicken planks out of the glove compartment. But alas, no, it's apparently a serious list. I keep picturing it like a variant of "50 Things Skippy Is Not Allowed To Do In the Army", except ... you know, "50 Things TP Is Not Allowed To Do At DHL Anymore." Like, for instance --
1. No more eating at your desk.
2. This includes babies.
3. Also, no more spilling a Big Gulp on the desk, screaming "Fifty-two pickup!", and then trying to slurp up the ice cubes with your straw.
4. Lumbergh did not sleep with Jennifer Aniston. So stop asking.
5. Just because The Grouch's real name is Oscar does not mean he is a Muppet, nor does he live in a garbage can.
6. Captain Asshat did not really have superpowers.
7. Lieutenant Asshat was not really in the army.
8. On a related note, if he were in the army, his salute would not involve putting his hands next to his butt and wiggling his fingers at people as if he were shaking his tail feathers.
9. A person cannot be shipped to Hawaii. It doesn't matter if they can fit in the box.
10. Slapping an airway bill to Iceland on your forehead does not mean you'll fly there, regardless of whether or not it's cheaper than a plane ticket.
11. No more sitting around for more than five minutes trying to gain the ability to teleport through force of will.
12. Folding envelopes into paper airplanes and throwing them down the length of the warehouse will not send them to their desired destinations.
13. TP's dancing cannot be used as a weapon, especially when directed at the security cameras.
14. TP's teddy bear is not the lord and master of the known universe, no matter what he tells you through TP's mindless ramblings.
15. No more putting up signs over the front counter that say belligerent customers will be disemboweled and fed to the moat monster.
16. Presentation of a firstborn is not required to enter the attempted deliveries room.
Of course, that's not what the first sixteen would look like, which depresses me greatly.
*headdesk*
First off, this is a twenty-dollar bill. *snaps money at friends list* This is keeping me fed for the next week. I have another twenty, but a little careful math has revealed to me that due to my boneheadedness and the increased travel I have to do to get to work now, I'm going to spend pretty much the entire thing on buses over the course of four days next week.
What travel time, you're saying? Oh, the travel time it's going to take me now that the DHL station moved today to a building that's a bitch to get to on a bus. "Great location, my ass" was something I repeated over and over again today. Also, there are no restaurants within walking distance like with the last place. The only reason I got myself a chicken wing and a biscuit from Popeye's for dinner is because one of the girls from work saw what a disaster the move was and decided to make a food run.
And if you want to know why I'm so stressed out, the move is why. I'd really like to know whose stupid idea this was, except I do know who it was and I can't believe Bossman thought it was a good place to move to. It's in the middle of nowhere, and with the weather as icky as it was today ... oh, I'm going to have so much FUN getting there. *seethes*
Let's not even get into my office situation. Then again, let's. That personal office I had to myself before? Gone. Now, I'm sharing a large office with four other people, and the office that's supposed to hold all of my packages is down an entirely different hallway. Did I mention I'm going to have to lug packages back and forth from this stupid room because somebody thought this was a great idea? Also, none of my personal stuff that I packed from the other station arrived today (it's twenty freaking minutes away, for crying out loud) and we don't get to eat at our desks anymore, which means that's a good fifteen minutes or so of work that won't get done. (No, seriously, I actually have to worry about this.) See, this is going to be my new diet -- constantly carrying packages needleesly around and forced starvation by default. *eye roll*
Oh, and that new rule about eating is supposedly on this six-page manifesto I haven't gotten to see yet of things we're not allowed to do in the new building. I was kind of hoping it's like when my mother buys a new car and orders everybody not to eat in it, and two months later, my brother and I would be fishing Long John Silver chicken planks out of the glove compartment. But alas, no, it's apparently a serious list. I keep picturing it like a variant of "50 Things Skippy Is Not Allowed To Do In the Army", except ... you know, "50 Things TP Is Not Allowed To Do At DHL Anymore." Like, for instance --
1. No more eating at your desk.
2. This includes babies.
3. Also, no more spilling a Big Gulp on the desk, screaming "Fifty-two pickup!", and then trying to slurp up the ice cubes with your straw.
4. Lumbergh did not sleep with Jennifer Aniston. So stop asking.
5. Just because The Grouch's real name is Oscar does not mean he is a Muppet, nor does he live in a garbage can.
6. Captain Asshat did not really have superpowers.
7. Lieutenant Asshat was not really in the army.
8. On a related note, if he were in the army, his salute would not involve putting his hands next to his butt and wiggling his fingers at people as if he were shaking his tail feathers.
9. A person cannot be shipped to Hawaii. It doesn't matter if they can fit in the box.
10. Slapping an airway bill to Iceland on your forehead does not mean you'll fly there, regardless of whether or not it's cheaper than a plane ticket.
11. No more sitting around for more than five minutes trying to gain the ability to teleport through force of will.
12. Folding envelopes into paper airplanes and throwing them down the length of the warehouse will not send them to their desired destinations.
13. TP's dancing cannot be used as a weapon, especially when directed at the security cameras.
14. TP's teddy bear is not the lord and master of the known universe, no matter what he tells you through TP's mindless ramblings.
15. No more putting up signs over the front counter that say belligerent customers will be disemboweled and fed to the moat monster.
16. Presentation of a firstborn is not required to enter the attempted deliveries room.
Of course, that's not what the first sixteen would look like, which depresses me greatly.
