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anxietygrrl because, maaaaan, do I have answers for this one.
"If you could give advice to yourself as a freshman in high school, what would you say?"
Ahem.
Hey, you! Yeah, you, the scrawny little wallflower who never says boo. Listen up, and listen good.
-- You know your best friend that you've had a crush on for ages? Yeah, he's gay. In two years, you're going to start working at Burger King. The adorable redhead who shares your brain? Gay, too. Pick two other guys and lust after them, 'kay?
-- Go ahead and drink. No, seriously. I'm not saying you should drink everything in sight, because plastic bathroom cups could probably hold more liquor than you could. But it's cool. Just remember, stick to malts and daquiris, beer is beyond gross, and tequila can drop you from twenty paces. Don't even approach a bottle in a radiation suit.
-- Let your hair grow out. You look like Ronald McDonald with that haircut.
-- Don't be Little Miss Responsible when you start picking out college majors. Journalism? Oh, come on. Try creative writing. You know you want to. And I saw that longing look you gave the criminology majors during orientation. Okay, you haven't given it yet, but go on, everybody's doing it. Succumb to the crime scene investigation peer pressure!
-- You can't sing. Really. Stop it, you're hurting people. Maybe not physically, but their emotional well-being is suffering.
-- You're funnier than you think. But that smart-ass remark you're going to make to Mark and Bobby in creative writing class? Yeah, that's not funny.
-- Credit cards are evil. I catch you getting a credit card and your Popple dies a slow, horrible death by dismemberment. I swear, you'll never know where I'm burying the parts. And if you even look at a Visa card sideways, you're going to get a mysterious package in the mail full of cotton stuffing. You've been warned.
-- Your third year of college, you will meet quite possibly the most handsome guy you will ever meet in your life. He's blond, he's British, and he looks incredibly like a spiky-haired Orlando Bloom. Who's Orlando Bloom, you ask? Don't waste time asking me stupid questions like that! Just keep in mind, it would probably not be entirely disadvantageous of you to find him at the international students bash right after Thanksgiving break, leap into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist, and introduce Miss Tongue to Mr. Tonsils. Hey, I'm just saying.
-- Dont try jumping over the dried-up creek bed at Kennedy Park. Trust me, ankles were not supposed to bend a hundred degrees in any direction.
-- The summer after you graduate, work overtime at Burger King, scrape together some cash, and go to Los Angeles for a week. Get a haircut, buy some halfway decent makeup, and bring along that itty bitty red dress that makes guys yammer incoherently. Now, look for a guy named James Marsters. You'll thank me some day.
-- The winning Powerball numbers for May 20, 1998 are 4, 9, 30, 34, 48, and the Powerball is 8.
-- You're going to be attracting freaks and weirdos into your orbit for the rest of your life. And I know it looks like the freaks and weirdos are the only guys who are attracted to you, but guess what? Some of the hotties want to do nasty things to you, too! Go on, play with them! A lot of them won't even mind. (But if you can, invent freak-and-weirdo repellant, because it's getting a little ridiculous on my end, okay?)
-- In the year 2000, vote Al Gore for President. For God's sake, vote! If possible, move to Florida before you do. And bring friends.
-- Everybody you graduate with is actually still really cool years later. Just a warning so that when guys like Bobby, Luke, and Jeremy are suddenly hugging you at the five-year high school reunion, you don't have a coronary.
-- Hey, guess what? They're eventually going to make an X-Men movie! Two, actually. Yes, Picard's playing Xavier. No, they won't have Gambit. Yes, they will have Iceman (and he's adorable like a widdle kitten). No, they won't have Angel. Yes, they will have Beast, but he's only going to show up on TV for about a minute. No, Glenn Danzig won't be playing Wolverine like everybody and their second cousin said should be playing him, but you will not have a problem with that. At all. The only problem you'll have might possibly be that you can't reach through the screen and make a grab for certain dangly bits.
-- Kurt's going to pull a Hendrix. Or a Morrison. Or a Joplin. Well, whatever the hell you want to call it, appreciate the music while you've got it, bucko.
-- They're killing off Richie at the end of Season Five. And how it happens both blows and sucks. Don't worry about getting revenge on the writers, though. I think having to write Season Six for Adrian and his massive, ego-inflated skull will be revenge enough.
anxietygrrl because, maaaaan, do I have answers for this one."If you could give advice to yourself as a freshman in high school, what would you say?"
Ahem.
Hey, you! Yeah, you, the scrawny little wallflower who never says boo. Listen up, and listen good.
-- You know your best friend that you've had a crush on for ages? Yeah, he's gay. In two years, you're going to start working at Burger King. The adorable redhead who shares your brain? Gay, too. Pick two other guys and lust after them, 'kay?
-- Go ahead and drink. No, seriously. I'm not saying you should drink everything in sight, because plastic bathroom cups could probably hold more liquor than you could. But it's cool. Just remember, stick to malts and daquiris, beer is beyond gross, and tequila can drop you from twenty paces. Don't even approach a bottle in a radiation suit.
-- Let your hair grow out. You look like Ronald McDonald with that haircut.
-- Don't be Little Miss Responsible when you start picking out college majors. Journalism? Oh, come on. Try creative writing. You know you want to. And I saw that longing look you gave the criminology majors during orientation. Okay, you haven't given it yet, but go on, everybody's doing it. Succumb to the crime scene investigation peer pressure!
-- You can't sing. Really. Stop it, you're hurting people. Maybe not physically, but their emotional well-being is suffering.
-- You're funnier than you think. But that smart-ass remark you're going to make to Mark and Bobby in creative writing class? Yeah, that's not funny.
-- Credit cards are evil. I catch you getting a credit card and your Popple dies a slow, horrible death by dismemberment. I swear, you'll never know where I'm burying the parts. And if you even look at a Visa card sideways, you're going to get a mysterious package in the mail full of cotton stuffing. You've been warned.
-- Your third year of college, you will meet quite possibly the most handsome guy you will ever meet in your life. He's blond, he's British, and he looks incredibly like a spiky-haired Orlando Bloom. Who's Orlando Bloom, you ask? Don't waste time asking me stupid questions like that! Just keep in mind, it would probably not be entirely disadvantageous of you to find him at the international students bash right after Thanksgiving break, leap into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist, and introduce Miss Tongue to Mr. Tonsils. Hey, I'm just saying.
-- Dont try jumping over the dried-up creek bed at Kennedy Park. Trust me, ankles were not supposed to bend a hundred degrees in any direction.
-- The summer after you graduate, work overtime at Burger King, scrape together some cash, and go to Los Angeles for a week. Get a haircut, buy some halfway decent makeup, and bring along that itty bitty red dress that makes guys yammer incoherently. Now, look for a guy named James Marsters. You'll thank me some day.
-- The winning Powerball numbers for May 20, 1998 are 4, 9, 30, 34, 48, and the Powerball is 8.
-- You're going to be attracting freaks and weirdos into your orbit for the rest of your life. And I know it looks like the freaks and weirdos are the only guys who are attracted to you, but guess what? Some of the hotties want to do nasty things to you, too! Go on, play with them! A lot of them won't even mind. (But if you can, invent freak-and-weirdo repellant, because it's getting a little ridiculous on my end, okay?)
-- In the year 2000, vote Al Gore for President. For God's sake, vote! If possible, move to Florida before you do. And bring friends.
-- Everybody you graduate with is actually still really cool years later. Just a warning so that when guys like Bobby, Luke, and Jeremy are suddenly hugging you at the five-year high school reunion, you don't have a coronary.
-- Hey, guess what? They're eventually going to make an X-Men movie! Two, actually. Yes, Picard's playing Xavier. No, they won't have Gambit. Yes, they will have Iceman (and he's adorable like a widdle kitten). No, they won't have Angel. Yes, they will have Beast, but he's only going to show up on TV for about a minute. No, Glenn Danzig won't be playing Wolverine like everybody and their second cousin said should be playing him, but you will not have a problem with that. At all. The only problem you'll have might possibly be that you can't reach through the screen and make a grab for certain dangly bits.
-- Kurt's going to pull a Hendrix. Or a Morrison. Or a Joplin. Well, whatever the hell you want to call it, appreciate the music while you've got it, bucko.
-- They're killing off Richie at the end of Season Five. And how it happens both blows and sucks. Don't worry about getting revenge on the writers, though. I think having to write Season Six for Adrian and his massive, ego-inflated skull will be revenge enough.
Hey, could you tell you self one more thing for me...
Date: 2003-06-17 07:42 am (UTC)Love your works, please keep writing and I will keep reading.