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[personal profile] apocalypsos
Dear God,

We here at Celestial Cable have noticed by watching the obituaries of our local newspaper that we may have a slight problem on our hands. Considering those famous people who've passed on this year, we checked our records and realized that you've only been getting VH-1 (Maurice Gibb, Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon, Barry White), TV Land (Gordon Jump, Buddy Ebsen, John Ritter, Nell Carter), Turner Classic Movies (Donald O'Connor, Katherine Hepburn, Bob Hope, Gregory Peck, Hume Cronyn), HBO (Charles Bronson, Gregory Hines), and PBS (Mr. Rogers).

We apologize profusely and, in an effort to restore some sort of balance to the universe, have left you with only MTV, reality programming, "Street Smarts", and C-SPAN. Also, if Carson Daly is not smited within the next week and a half, you will be receiving the collected works of Anne Rice.

We'd say more, but a very annoyed man with a sickle is standing behind us while we type this.

Sincerely,

Celestial Cable
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