apocalypsos | (no subject)

INT. NSA HALLWAY

Jake trails after Diane, holding a pair of movie tickets in his hands.

DIANE
"Not a chance, Jake."

JAKE
"Diane, give me a break here. Do you have any idea what I had to go through to get these tickets? Either someone dressed like Samwise Gamgee bit me on the legs, or someone needs to muzzle their child."

DIANE
"Jake, it's opening week. It's going to be a theater full of diehards --"

JAKE
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have an Aragorn screensaver on your computer?"

Diane stops walking, frowning at Jake as she crosses her arms.

DIANE
"That's not going to help you sell your pitch, you know."

JAKE
"Look, at this point, it's either you or Kyle, and Kyle makes these funny snorting noises --"

DIANE
"You've gone to the movies with Kyle? Don't you two have friends outside of work?"

JAKE (feigning confusion)
"Friends?"
(pretends to "get it")
"Oh, I remember 'friends.' Pick up bar tabs, hang out with you, make fun of your love life ..."

DIANE
"You can have friends outside of work, Jake."

Jake's face falls at that.

JAKE
"Diane, you know what I had to do this morning?"

DIANE
"Do I really want to know?"

JAKE
"I had to call my mother and tell her I wasn't coming back to Akron for Christmas."

Diane winces, then reaches out and gives him a comforting pat on the arm.

DIANE
"I'm guessing there were mortal wounds involved."

JAKE
"I'm pretty sure I still can't hear out of my right ear."

Diane gives him a genuinely pitying smile. Jake looks away, trying not to appear depressed and failing miserably.

DIANE
"I'm sorry."

JAKE
"I have to stay here just in case I need to save the world. It's not a bad excuse."

He glances at the NSA hallway they're standing in and the agents passing by, and resignation settles in his gaze. Then he looks back at Diane, who's biting her bottom lip nervously, and he forces a smile.

JAKE
(cont.)
"I told my mom I was making extra money playing an elf at the mall. Now, that's a bad excuse."

DIANE (can't resist her smile)
"An elf, huh?"

JAKE
"It's a glandular thing. I'm taking pills and seeing a therapist."

DIANE
"Ah."

Glancing down at his hand, Jake's smile widens, and he waves the tickets in front of her.

JAKE
"Or I'm really Orlando Bloom's long-lost relative --"

DIANE
"No, Jake."

Diane walks away, rolling her eyes, and Jake trails after her.

JAKE
"Aw, come on!"