If he'd stopped being an asshat, I think I'd stop loving him so damn much.

[apocalypsos]

So I've been thinking about Nathan Petrelli since Monday night's episode, and here's my thing.

Okay, so all that stuff that I wrote about in they don't make 'em like they used to? While I'm not too sure on who might be involved, I seriously think that it's going to turn out that way back when, Nathan was a lot like that. That he knew about his powers, that he tried to do something good, and that the reason that he's the way he is now is because he failed.

And yeah, I think a lot of it may have to do with losing Claire. I really do think that not only did he know her, but he helped raise her up until he and Meredith lost her. That she was Daddy's little girl, and he loved her so much that losing her just fucking BROKE him.

Now, to be honest, I'm not exactly sure how much the Haitian was involved in how much he remembers about the past. (I mean, come on. "I'm not sure if you remember me, but our daughter just found me"? She bore him a child. A comment like that only makes sense in a world where a man who can erase memories exists.) But I do think he either had a very small part in what happened after the fire or a very large part. At the very least, Meredith thinks it's possible that Nathan had his memory wiped, and I think it might be because he was so distraught about the loss of his daughter that he'd erased his memories of Meredith and turned his back on her, and whatever plans they may have been involved in.

Here's the thing. When Bennet and the Haitian cornered him, he flew. But he didn't just fly -- he broke the damn sound barrier. He made a freaking TURN in midair. That's not the skill of someone who's only flown a couple of times before. That's the skill of someone with experience, and while his landing was questionable he was landing barefoot and shirtless in the desert, after all. I imagine that increases the level of difficulty. ;)

When Nathan was talking to Peter about what he was supposed to do to save people since all he can really do is fly, I'm starting to believe that comes from a point of experience, far more than just flying up out of the convertible and turning Heidi into an invalid. I think he not only remembers what it was like to fly, but also what it was like to ONLY fly, to only have that one power to fall back on and to have it not come through when crunch time came.

Maybe it's just me, but Nathan's warnings to Peter come across to me at this point less as you're-acting-nutty-and-embarrassing-me as I've-been-here-before-and-lost-someone-and-I-don't-want-to-lose-you-too. Of course, he can't just SAY that. His family obviously doesn't know about his powers (so I doubt they knew about Meredith or their child), and while I'm not sure how his mother would react I imagine Peter would flip out and take it as encouragement. Maybe Nathan doesn't want to do it anymore, but obviously he did and Peter in all of his hero worship would argue that Nathan had to have made a difference regardless of whatever failures he might have made. I don't think Nathan would argue that, but I don't think he could bring himself to agree with that, either.

Considering that Hiro's current situation shows that a hero's powers can fade due to stress, I can only imagine what losing his daughter might have done to Nathan's ability to fly. Hell, if he'd been unable to save her I'm guessing he was probably thrilled to lose them. Good riddance to bad rubbish -- now I can go have a normal life and not get anyone else hurt. And so he couldn't fly and he held himself back from everyone around him (because look what loving someone so much it hurt and losing them felt the last time) and he tried to be as straight-laced as possible so that no one would ever think he could have possibly been able to fly. That's why when he caught Peter and Peter asked how he was flying, Nathan said, "I don't know." Of course he doesn't know. He stopped doing that YEARS ago -- that night with Heidi was just a painful fluke, and more evidence that his powers can get the ones he loves hurt.

He might not admit it, but I think there is a part of Nathan's campaign that's less about ambition and more about trying to do something good without superhuman abilities. He really wants to help, but being a flying vigilante is dangerous and unpredictable. Getting elected means that he really can make a difference even if he wouldn't say as much without sounding like he's full of it. While he's obviously a flawed individual (see: Jessica, fucking in an expensive motel room with), he does mean well underneath it all. (I also think that's a part of the reverse blackmail that I love -- he means well, yeah, but he can't help feeling a little bit smug about hitting a bad guy where it counts, even if it is in his wallet.)

See, that's a big part of the reason that I've loved Nathan from the beginning. Plus, I love the fact that he's Claire's father because it gives him a depth he didn't have before, once you string the hints about him together. I know people had been hoping Mr. Bennet was her biological father, but I think that would have actually weakened his character. Mr. Bennet, in all of his manipulating and mindwiping, loves his family so much and just wants to protect them. For all of the secrets he keeps I do believe that he loves his kooky wife and dorky son and (obviously) his cheerleading daughter, which would have made me uncomfortable if he'd brought home a baby that was secretly his to the wife he loved who was having trouble conceiving. Dude, that's not cool -- that's just mean. And while Bennet can be a bastard to other people, he only does what he does to his family to protect them. And as for Linderman being her possible father, why would a man with his power and connections not know about Claire, not know where she was, and not have contacted her already? It doesn't make sense other than to connect her to Linderman, and it's pretty obvious that in the end he's going to have something that all of the Heroes want. And why have both of her parents be characters we've never met? Regardless of how much we've heard of Linderman, we don't know him like we know Nathan. Claire being his daughter -- and his knowing about it and, from the sound of the phone call, possibly knowing about all of their abilities from way back when -- brings a whole new level of depth to both of their characters.

Plus, you know, I think she's going to loosen him up and make him forgive himself for past mistakes and go with the whole hero thing. Which means flying again. FLYING MAN! *whoosh*

So, yeah. That's my whole Nathan thing. I know he's a bastard, but there has to be a reason, damn it, and I like mine. :)

Comments

[eisoj5]

It's stuff like this (and god, your awesome, awesome fic) that's making me loosen up about the whole thing. *deep sigh*

(I still think, though, that flight is also a manifestation of his desire to be free from all the traps he's created around himself.) :)

[trinity_clare]

So, I agree with most of what you say here about Nathan's feelings, and I do agree that he must have known about the flying before (unless the show is going for an X-Men style "everyone gets their powers at the same time" thing).

...And then I deleted two paragraphs of objection, because I had another thought. When Claire asks the Haitian about her parents, the first thing he'll tell her is that "They work [was it worked???] for your father, like I do." And the first thing Meredith told Nathan wasn't that she and Claire were alive - as any civilian would have thought - but that Claire had found her. Which makes me think that even Nathan knows more about this than we do at this point.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

When Claire asks the Haitian about her parents, the first thing he'll tell her is that "They work [was it worked???] for your father, like I do."

I think he wasn't talking about her real parents, but about the people Mr. Bennet presented as her real parents. That got held up when Sylar's doctor turned out to be the same man who was supposed to be Claire's bio-dad.

but that Claire had found her.

Well, that Claire had found her, but that she was alive, indicating that before that, they'd both thought she was dead (although I presume they never found a body, which is why there wasn't any denial over whether or not the possibility existed that she was). She didn't inform him that she was alive but then again she also said he might not remember who she was. Why would he know one way or another if she were alive or dead if he had gotten the Haitian to erase his memory or the Haitian did it for him?

I have this mental image of Nathan blaming Meredith for the fire for obvious reasons, then storming out telling her he was going to forget she ever existed by going to the Haitian. Then he got there and the Haitian talked him into remembering it all, that it would make him stronger, that he wouldn't want to forget either his daughter or the woman who'd given her to him. So Nathan left without telling Meredith he still remembered who she was and Meredith assumed that he'd blocked everything out. (Especially if she knew about his election, not a stretch considering he was running in New York, and had his phone number, which I can only presume considering his financial status and political career is unlisted.)

[trinity_clare]

I'm being pulled more and more towards your side of things as I think about it, since I keep deleting my arguments. Like this - it's entirely possible that Meredith was a one night stand for Nathan, and that's why he might not remember her. Totally disregarding that he knows he has a daughter and thought she disappeared or died, I am just not willing to believe that two people with powers could meet up without knowing it. And sharing secrets like that would almost require them to have a deeper relationship. Hmm. I must think about this some more.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I am just not willing to believe that two people with powers could meet up without knowing it

Like Nathan and Jessica? ;)

Personally I think that they both knew about their powers before they ever even got involved, but ... *shrugs*

[trinity_clare]

Oh fine, ruin my fun. :P

No, I agree that they would have known about their powers before. But one of the only scenarios that allows me to believe that they shared that secret with each other is if they were part of a group much like the one in your fic. Either that or they didn't tell each other at all, which makes me lean more towards them not having a serious relationship.

Then again, canon is being very confusing on the point of timeline with regard to the powers. Obviously Claire's been invincible since she was born (and how did she figure it out? That would be interesting to see/read), and Meredith must have had her powers since before the fire as well. But Peter can't have had his for very long or he definitely would have noticed, since he has so little control. (I also have a feeling that more about Peter and how his power is different will be made clear as Claude tells him more). Same goes for someone like Hiro. Are we supposed to assume that all of them were born with their powers? Hmm.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I think Claire assumes that is why she survived the fire.
She may have had her powers like Micha but they faded out like Hiro's as she didn't really need them, which might explain her sickness as a kid. If she had relied on her powers before then her immune system might have had to have had a bit of time to get used to it again.
She didn't notice that she had healed quickly at all in her flashbacks so I'm thinking it's a new thing.

It might also have been Stop That You Bennett who pulled her out of the fire/danger, thinking her mother was dead and asked the Haitian to remove Nathan's memories of all of them. I think that went as well as it did with Matt or Claire.

The way her mother said 'What a family', although Claire didn't take it that way, made me think she knew exactly what powers Nathan has/had. I agree, she thinks there is a distinct possibility that he no longer has those memories at all.

Maybe they had an 'exit strategy' for their little group, faked deaths and removed memories.

[wer-bin-ich.livejournal.com]

Damn, that is some in-depth thought...and it so makes sense.

It's been a long time since a show has made me go this crazy (in a good way) week after week.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I was thinking as well about exactly what the Haitian told Claire, that he didn't know about her father. If he knew who he was, and I can totally see him lying to her, he's lied to Bennett for more than a decade if he knows everything else as well as having his own plans. I did get the impression that he's feeding her enough information to get her to go looking for the rest on her own.

She seems very good at this covert stuff, knowing that it's the tiny things like brochures that will hold her story together.

[fyrdrakken]

No, let's remember that -- the Haitian hasn't lied to Claire so far, and it does seem to call into question the idea that Nathan would have A) known (or known of) the Haitian or B) deliberately requested his own erasure. I can see Meredith as knowing of him because of her own canonical prior run-in with Bennett, and wonder if Bennett and/or the Haitian knew that Nathan was Claire's bio-dad when they tried to nab him in Vegas. (Considering the odds of Linderman being Bennett's boss and behind the attempted kidnapping, I wonder if Linderman knows the parentage of the child he might have given his underling permission to raise. Perhaps with the caveat that he be allowed to make use of her once her abilities became known, hence Bennett's desire to keep Claire from knowing about her own powers for her own protection...)

[lunarknightz.livejournal.com]

Claire being a Petrelli isn't the storyline I would have picked, but the more I think about it, the more I've grown to like it.

I loved your fic, and I saw a lot of present day Peter in past Nathan. And I absolutely adore the points you've brought up in this post- you really seem to get Nathan, and the thoughts you have are just *wonderful*

I think it's obvious, though, that Claire didn't get the Petrelli hair gene--Peter's hair is well, you know, and Nathan's seems to suffer from too much product. ;)

[inmyriadbits.livejournal.com]

From Meredith's "I don't know if you remember me," I got more of the sense that he wasn't really involved with Claire at all. The newspaper article Claire and Zach find said Meredith was 21 and Claire was 18 months old at the time of the fire, which means Meredith got pregnant at 19 and gave birth at 19 or 20. That suggests accidental pregnancy to me, and that, along with the implication that he wouldn't remember Meredith, suggests to me that Nathan wasn't involved with Claire's life at all, although he probably heard about her "death."

I also want to argue against Nathan being able to control his abilities. The only three times we've seen him fly have been in extremis, and in two of the three he hasn't been in control at all. If his escape from Bennett and the Haitian seemed fancy, I'd attribute it to wanting it to look cool (which it does) rather than implying Nathan's in control.

I'm actually really curious about Nathan's campaign. I think he has ulterior motives, because how else does he go from prosecuting Linderman six months ago to seeking him out for funding now? My personal cracked-out theory is that he's still looking to take Linderman down. He failed in his attempt to take the heroic approach in "Six Months Ago"; Heidi was crippled by Linderman's people and his father died, and tied up in all that mess is the appearance of his abilities. He's left bitter and angry about his power of flight and the effectiveness of his job; that bitterness shows up during "Six Months Ago," not at the beginning of it. But I think he still has the desire to be a hero that led him to work for the district attorney; it's just been buried by all the recent mess. You can see it peeking out now and again, in his overprotectiveness, and especially in his scenes with Hiro and Peter. You get it a little when he talks to Peter about the attempted abduction and just seems so frustrated by his power and thinks he can't help, that he can't be a hero. But the great thing about Hiro is that it's so hard not to believe in heroism with him around. Their whole conversation in Isaac's studio ("Whoosh!") leads up to the last lines--Nathan: "Bad guy." Hiro: "We must stop him." Nathan: "I think I can help." It's the first time he ever says something like that. I think Nathan has a reluctant/uncertain hero arc coming up. Anyway, I'm interested to see how it plays out. I love Nathan, and I think even as a hero, he'll be a bit of a bastard, because he's not afraid to fight dirty.

(Er. Sorry about the length.)

[fyrdrakken]

On Nathan's flying, I agree that he definitely wasn't in control when the accident happened six months before, and he wasn't too good at it when he tried to catch his brother -- but I'll go along with the comics indicating that he's been doing some practicing at least in the past six months. (Though perhaps not enough time to get decent at it between catching Peter and escaping Bennett -- hmm, faking being bad at it with Peter? Plausible deniability? No, no reason. Peter sapping his power by borrowing it?)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I think it was part Peter sapping his power and Peter being a flailing roof-jumping idiot at the time. I suspect it's a hell of a lot easier to zip off at the speed of sound and do all sorts of tricks when you're not trying to hold onto your wriggling spazz of a little brother at the same time. ;)

[fyrdrakken]

Yeah, that fits well enough. Practicing during the six months, then, and just having a hard time catching Peter.

[squee1123.livejournal.com]

Im still so thrilled about Nate being Claire's dad. For once! A show has turned out how I dreamed of it being! (granted if you had never speculated about it i never would have had the idea ever)

I cannot WAAAAIT for Monday.

[astrothsknot.livejournal.com]

I'd never thought about it like that, and now I totally am.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

he flew. But he didn't just fly -- he broke the damn sound barrier. He made a freaking TURN in mid-air At the time I was just impressed he kept his bottoms on but definitely, there's as much back story percolating away around these people as future story lines.

[scribewraith.livejournal.com]

The whole thing about Nathan being brain-wiped: that makes sense. And I really like your take on it.

[cleverthylacine]

Actually, I love him because he's a bastard, but I have that whole machiavellian thing. I love nothing better than a person who wants to do good things in a machiavellian way :D

[fyrdrakken]

It's a good theory you've put together here, and it all goes together well -- except for the part that, "I don't know if you remember me, but our daughter just contacted me," could in fact mean, "I don't know if you remember me [because all we had was a little fling 15 years ago and we haven't talked since] but our daughter [that I never told you I'd had] just contacted me [and this is my not at all tactful method of letting you know she exists]."

Except that I'm not sure about the potential motivations for not telling him about Claire at the time of the pregnancy and birth, but then telling him now. (I can think up some reasons for never having told him about Claire without trying hard -- not wanting to contact him to tell him about his surprise daughter way back when because they parted ways under unhappy circumstances or he was with someone else -- maybe even had been cheating on his wife with Meredith -- and then thinking Claire was dead figuring that he didn't need to know. It's not like I don't know anyone whose father doesn't know they exist. The interesting thing is wondering why exactly Meredith realized that now was a good time to notify Nathan of Claire's existence if she hadn't already -- would that be due to having 14 years to regret not having ever told him, or due to knowing about some of what's going on now? Which come to think of it might be tied to why she returned to Texas from Mexico recently.)

Your theory hangs together better than I'm happy with -- I liked the idea that Nathan among others only discovered his powers six months ago, though as I type this I realize that it's partly that I've gotten somewhat emotionally invested in the show's implications that something changed very recently and that all these people carrying the gene suddenly went active. (Which explains why people of differing ages seem to have abruptly discovered their powers at the same point -- it's not a pubertal thing like with the X-Men.) But, yeah, Bennett had to known about this shit 14 years ago when he took Claire (or found out about it when investigating her parentage, though the implication was that he was trying to capture Meredith and thought she'd died).

[muselives.livejournal.com]

Love your thoughts on Nathan's ability being more developed than we think at first blush and the stress-loss theory with Claire dying. Very nice all around, thanks so much for sharing :)