So I've been thinking ...
Feb. 9th, 2007 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsos... about last night's Supernatural, and about the promises Sam has made Dean make.
I keep thinking about the blatantly obvious, which is, "If Sam knows he might become this huge threat, why doesn't he just kill himself now?"
I think a lot of that has to do with Dean, and not in a "passing the buck" sort of way.
It all comes down to what their dad said. Dean was going to have to save Sam, and if he didn't he was going have to kill him. IF he didn't. Sam has faith in a lot of things -- he has faith in God and prayer, he has faith in the things he can research and a weapon in his hand, and he has faith in Dean. Hell, he has tremendous faith in Dean. The man has spent the last twenty-four years or so learning that his big brother will take care of him above everything. Sam is going to try his damnedest to take care of his own self and keep himself from going evil, but Dean is his protector, the guy who's there every day with him and knows him better than anyone. Dean takes care of everything whether Sam likes it or not, and Sam's just used to it.
Sure, Sam could kill himself but there's still that strong faith that Dean will fix it all that's going to keep him from doing it. So far, he's been proven right -- every time things have gone pear-shaped, Dean's fixed as much of it as he can manage. Sam is going to keep foisting off responsibility on Dean to kill him if he goes evil because he's not going to be able to kill himself. While he's himself he has his faith in Dean to stop him up to the very last minute (and his desperation that they'll both find the answers they need to save him before it all goes wrong), and as we saw last night by the time he goes evil he's sure as hell not going to turn that trigger on himself.
The thing that Sam doesn't seem to be getting is that no matter how many times he tells Dean to do it, Dean's not going to listen. Dean is not programmed like that. He can't shoot his family, can't kill them no matter if they're evil or not, and if he was brought to that point and had to do it, it'd fucking BREAK him.
Neither one of them can kill Sam and that's their whole problem.
*****
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go curl up in a ball and die. *whimper*
I keep thinking about the blatantly obvious, which is, "If Sam knows he might become this huge threat, why doesn't he just kill himself now?"
I think a lot of that has to do with Dean, and not in a "passing the buck" sort of way.
It all comes down to what their dad said. Dean was going to have to save Sam, and if he didn't he was going have to kill him. IF he didn't. Sam has faith in a lot of things -- he has faith in God and prayer, he has faith in the things he can research and a weapon in his hand, and he has faith in Dean. Hell, he has tremendous faith in Dean. The man has spent the last twenty-four years or so learning that his big brother will take care of him above everything. Sam is going to try his damnedest to take care of his own self and keep himself from going evil, but Dean is his protector, the guy who's there every day with him and knows him better than anyone. Dean takes care of everything whether Sam likes it or not, and Sam's just used to it.
Sure, Sam could kill himself but there's still that strong faith that Dean will fix it all that's going to keep him from doing it. So far, he's been proven right -- every time things have gone pear-shaped, Dean's fixed as much of it as he can manage. Sam is going to keep foisting off responsibility on Dean to kill him if he goes evil because he's not going to be able to kill himself. While he's himself he has his faith in Dean to stop him up to the very last minute (and his desperation that they'll both find the answers they need to save him before it all goes wrong), and as we saw last night by the time he goes evil he's sure as hell not going to turn that trigger on himself.
The thing that Sam doesn't seem to be getting is that no matter how many times he tells Dean to do it, Dean's not going to listen. Dean is not programmed like that. He can't shoot his family, can't kill them no matter if they're evil or not, and if he was brought to that point and had to do it, it'd fucking BREAK him.
Neither one of them can kill Sam and that's their whole problem.
*****
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go curl up in a ball and die. *whimper*
