BLARGH.

[apocalypsos]

I turned on the TV just in time to see an ABC News report on purity balls.

*scrubs eyeballs with bleach*

The creepiest was the guy who said that if your daughter is not a virgin on her wedding day, then what are you giving away when she gets married?

Ick. I don't think my skin is going to stop crawling anytime soon.

Comments

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

Oh, ew. God, that's just...

There was an article in Glamour a couple of issues back about the purity balls, and it was actually really well written, presenting the whole issue in a fairly non-biased way, with some insight into father-daughter relationships and how for some people this is a good way of building them. It was pretty much against the whole concept, for various reasons, but I was actually really impressed at how well it was written. I think my skin crawled pretty much the whole time it took me to read it, though. Ick.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

Purity balls?

Should I be googling this phrase or not?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

A purity ball is kind of like a big father/daughter prom where these mostly preteen girls pledge to their fathers to stay a virgin until their wedding night. Like, with vows. And a ceremony. And the girls in fancy dresses. And their fathers in suits.

For obvious reasons it's REALLY fucking creepy.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

That is just wrong and gross and creepy and wrong and sick and wrong on so many levels.

I feel gross just thinking about it.

Just... wrong.

[cesario.livejournal.com]

Okay, honestly, THAT IS A LOT LESS CREEPY than what the phrase "purity ball" suggested to my mind.

I won't say any more than that.

[thalionar.livejournal.com]

lmao!

oh good, it wasn't just me :)

[1grl-revolution.livejournal.com]

lol. Or me. *phew*

[diannelamerc.livejournal.com]

Or me... *breathes slightly easier*

[lalalallifer.livejournal.com]

Joining the relieved thread.

[phillyexpat.livejournal.com]

Same here, and I realized that I read the Glamour article that some one mentioned above.

[goldndog.livejournal.com]

And remember, our government is helping fund these purity balls. Many of the churches promoting this stuff are Reconstructionist denominations. Reconstructionists follow the teachings of John Rousas Rushdoony and Gary North, and their goal is to eventually take over America and install their brand of faith as the state religion.

Here are a couple of websites that will show you what these folks really believe:

http://0rz.com/?vDVsP
http://0rz.com/?vcDYg
http://0rz.com/?NsCrB

And, here is a link for VisionForum, a HUGE promoter of the Purity Ball concept and one of America's leading homeschooling curriculum companies. VisionForum is run by Doug Phillips, son of ex-Reagan cabinet member Howard Phillips and pastor of Boerne Christian Assembly, a hyper-patriarchal Reconstructionist congregation where women are relegated to virtual slavery in their own homes, denied higher education, are not permitted to participate in prayer in the church services, make prayer requests in church, or even receive communion unless it is served to them by their husband or another male member of the congregation.

http://www.visionforum.com/

The Phillipses are quite the father and son team, too -- Howard Phillips is the founder of the Constitution Party, whose 2004 presidential nominee was League of the South member Michael Peroutka. While the Constitution Party courted the votes of the League of the South (identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center) and other neoConfederate groups in 2004, Howard's son, Pastor Doug, was hard at work garnering the Christian vote, encouraging his congregation to vote for Peroutka and warning them that they were not spiritually "at liberty" to vote for the Bush or Kerry because of their unBiblical stances on key issues.

And our government is funding father-daughter dinner dances for these groups. Sweet.

[secretbutterfly.livejournal.com]

I had that in my head too. It was making my brain bleed.
What it actually is is still creepy and gross, though. *shudders* Sounds like something Jessica Simpson woulda done...

[phillyexpat.livejournal.com]

I don't suppose you saw Dirt last night? It was a not very thinly veiled plot of the Simpson sisters and Papa Simpson, and boy was it nasty.

[strix-an-stones.livejournal.com]

Uh huh. That is seriously fucked up.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Oh jesus christ, I thought, when I first read this post, it was a bunch of nerds going to a dance with extra chaperones to watch 'em.

Why is the world so insane?

[siberian-skys.livejournal.com]

I wondered if I was the only one who wanted to go scrub my skin off after viewing that last night.

[looknleap.livejournal.com]

In the glamour article the author went to a ceremony where the fathers had swords and pledged to fight for their daughters virginity. Truly I tried to be open minded but yeah I wanted to bathe in bleach after reading it. My dad told me to be smart and safe and in a more general life sense there is nothing I could do that he wouldn't forgive. And wtf "what are you giving away"? Dude it's not yours and your her dad and ewwwww.

Oh by the way I found this journal through a rec for your supernatural stories. Your an amazing writer =)

Remember the Prime Directive, Captain...

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

There are many things about other cultures that I find creepy. This is obviously just another "other culture." We may feel that it ought to be stamped out as an outrage against human dignity, but do we have the right to judge?

*covers ears against resounding chorus of "HELL YEAH!!!"*

Oh well. Just thought I'd mention it. I'll be in my quarters practising new ways of steepling my fingers.

Re: Remember the Prime Directive, Captain...

[bnh.livejournal.com]

seconded!

Re: Remember the Prime Directive, Captain...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough I'm okay with being completely and totally skeeved by a ceremony where a father treats his preteen daughter like property that's worthless when broken and fake-marries her in public and something that, were my parents militant Christians rather than lapsed ones, I might actually have had to go through.

Re: Remember the Prime Directive, Captain...

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

And I completely respect your skeevedness. The Prime Directive is a crock and an excuse and I loathe it with a mighty loathing, and this purity ball thing is indeed deeply disgusting and should be banned by law. I just wanted to lob the PD up there to see how many people shot at it.

Re: **** the Prime Directive, Captain...

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

Except of course that banning the balls wouldn't get rid of the attitude that spawned them, and that's been with us for a loooong time. And the worst part is that the girls, and the boys who want to marry the girls, all buy into it, and will doubtless bring up their sons and daughters to believe the same garbage. How you stop that short of shooting them all in the head I do not know.

Re: **** the Prime Directive, Captain...

[fyrdrakken]

The best way to stamp out the attitude is to force people to really look at it and think about how ridiculous it is. I loved this blog post on the subject for the caption under the opening image.

Re: Remember the Prime Directive, Captain...

[fyrdrakken]

One of my favorite responses to the Prime Directive multiculturalist stuff was that bit a British officer or governor or whatever supposedly said in India, regarding the practice of incinerating widows on their husbands' funeral pyres, that if the locals wanted to follow their charming custom that was fine but that he would then follow his own native custom of hanging people who burned women alive. Just build a gallows right next to the pyre.

[abbylee]

I'm continually confused by these groups and how they're absolutely fine with talking about virginity ad nauseum, but are horrified if anyone wants to talk clinically about sex. I grew up in a household that was the opposite, I don't remember ever not knowing about sex, since we even had picture books on the subject. And yet, despite any explicit discussion about virginity and respecting ourselves, I managed to make healthy and safe decisions. Imagine that.

I feel so bad for these girls who have no relationship with their fathers beyond being their little princesses.

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

I feel bad for them that their fathers actually base their daughter's worth on a thin membrane. ::shakes head:: And you'll note that none of them are talking about the virginity of their sons.

This just makes my skin crawl.

[callie-chan.livejournal.com]

I've always wondered why it's only important for women to maintain their virginity, but no one seems to give a flip about the men. Heck, no one even really asks. You'd think that a son pledging not to knock anyone up before marriage would be highly encouraged by people with this sort of mindset.

In other news, I take a perverse sort of pride in my virginity and how long I've had it, but this idea actually makes me nauseous. I almost wish I could lose it just so no one could ever be this creepy in my direction.

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

Actually, they do give a flip about the men. It's just that it usually still comes down to what the women are doing. Where I grew up, girls were expected to dress decently and modestly so as to not give guys any naughty ideas. So, you know, if you're wearing a mini-skirt, or wearing something midriff-baring, or even something that covers you but is rather tight, that's bad because you're inciting the men to wrong thoughts and actions.

[smallship1.livejournal.com]

Besides, with men there's no easy way to check. (I use the word "easy" from the point of view of the pervert doing the checking, of course...)

[puchuupoet.livejournal.com]

I read the phrase "purity balls" and immediately thought of Neuticles.

[just-katarin.livejournal.com]

Veiwpoints such as these make me sad for the girls in question, because it makes me wonder what their fathers see in them. If their fathers think the only thing of importance in their daughters is what's between their legs, then that's just sad.

Furthermore, the very idea of my father ever talking about my virginity or lack thereof makes me want to hide under the couch. I mean seriously, the embarrassment would be so strong with me.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

If their fathers think the only thing of importance in their daughters is what's between their legs, then that's just sad.

Seriously. And considering how well these purity balls supposedly work in keeping these girls virgins until marriage -- as in, not very -- the attitude that these girls are worthless on their wedding days without their virginity is disgusting.

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's vitally important that girls be virgins at their weddings today, since it's so damn important that the family land go to someone with the patriarch's blood in their veins. Retrogressive nimrods.

-blue

[maechi.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with a couple other commenters; when I first read 'purity ball', I wasn't really thinking gowns & dancing; I was thinking that it was some newfangled tampon-shaped chastity belt. (Because, seriously, it's only a matter of time really.)

:/ I'd be a bit more judgmental about this whole virginity crap, but I got sucked into it when I was younger & still a Christian, so now I really just pity the girls.

Also! I've been wondering about your default icon for ages & I finally saw a trailer for the movie it's from. Little arms! <3

[amalthia]

my mind went to a weird place when I read purity ball....

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

The purity balls are horrid: way to exhibit that women are not really human to these people but commodities. Check out the stuff at Shakespeare's Sister, Pandagon, Feministe... good stuff, or you know, actually, bad.

[faith21.livejournal.com]

yeah, don't even get me started about that, but there's an interesting article in march's glamour magazine about them.

[zhiverny6.livejournal.com]

Huh. I thought "purity balls" would mean kind of the opposite, as in "We've been obsessing over girls' virginity for years; now we're going to require it of boys." I figured it was a contraption of some sort, like a male chastity belt, or possibly a pledge. "Behold! No one can touch my Balls of Purity!"

I'm trying to be open-minded, but the imagery of girls pledging their virginity to their dads is creeping me out. I'm all for letting kids grow up before they become sexual creatures, but this is... not that.

I was berated once at a wedding, repeatedly, by a complete stranger for refusing to take part in a "daddy-daughter" dance. (I'd twisted my ankle, but felt no need to explain this to her because, lady, who the hell are you?) As the night wore on, and she kept coming by, I started thinking of all the people who've been abused, or just have profoundly messed up relationships with their parents, and are bullied into these things. Some rituals are not for everyone.

[expastic.livejournal.com]

oh! oh! I saw that last night! I watched it with my Mom and we were so disgusted that we sent in a comment to abc news. :D

[acetal.livejournal.com]

I read the first paragraph and thought you were talking about the little pucks of disinfectant they put in urinals.

I read the third and went ugh a little, then thought you were talking about some sort of campaign for male virginity.

Then I read the comments and went gah! Happy International Women's Day.

[paradoxymoron.livejournal.com]

If the daughter is no longer a virgin, clearly, her father is giving away the box it came in.