Meme jacked from gamiila

[apocalypsos]

1. What's your real name? -- I think I like Engelbert. Yes.

2. What's your favorite nickname? -- Weirdly enough, the Gidget thing's grown on me.

4. What's your favorite nickname for your genitals? nickname? My genitals? -- How about The Land That Everyone Else Forgot? *eye roll* And I think I'll call your genitals Bob.

5. Where were you born? -- Honesdale, PA

6. Do you like the rain? -- Yup

7. Have you ever been in love? -- Unfortunately, I've come really close twice.

8. Did you ever wonder why there are llamas?-- I thought it was to make camels look pretty by comparison.

9. What song best describes you? -- Sense Field, Save Yourself.

10. What would you name your first son? -- I kind of like Harrison.

11. What would you name your first son if you made him in your garage out of glue, coat hangers and sawdust? -- Woody.

12. Do you write in pen or pencil? -- Pen, usually.

13. When was the last time you cried? -- Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's how hard I was laughing.

14. When was the last time you wanted to cry? -- No clue.

15. When was the last time George Lucas made you want to cry? -- E.T., when he decided altering a children's classic was a great idea.

16. When you were a kid, did you ever break any bones? -- Nope, and never have.

17. When you were a kid, did you ever steal anything? -- Yup.

18. When you were in prison, did you do any amateur tatooing? -- Hey! I was a pro, man!

19. Do you like donuts? -- People who don't like donuts frighten me.

20. Even jelly donuts? -- Especially people who don't like jelly.

21. Do you know what's in that shit? -- Fattening, unhealthy goodness. Mmmm.

22. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? -- A shoe tree.

23. If you were a cow, would you be white with black spots? -- Yes, and I would kill cow tippers with abject cuteness. And also, napalm.

24. If you were flexible enough, would you... y'know? -- Hell, why not?

25. What was the saddest moment in your life? -- My grandma dying.

26. Do you think I really care? -- No, not really.

27. How many times do I have to tell you to shut the Fuck up? -- As many as it takes you to realize I won't. Dumbass.

28. What color shoes are you wearing? -- I'm not wearing shoes.

29. What color shirt are you wearing? -- Uh, white. It has the Scream painting on it and says, "Bush Again?"

30. Are you wearing any underpants? -- Yup.

31. Oooo. Are they lacey? -- Nope. I'm not big on lacy underwear. I'd go commando before I'd make with the frilly lingerie.

32. Do I make you hot? -- *user blinks* I don't even know you. But okay.

33. What is your lucky number? -- 13.

34. What is your unlucky number? -- The one that's the total of all of my debt.

35. Why do you succumb to human weakness and hold superstitions, you sad, callow sheep? -- Because my priest told me to.

36. What's your favorite book? -- Does the phone book count? It's so cool! It makes for an excellent murder weapon, they put out brand new editions every year where the plot changes, and I get a mention! Every novel should be the phone book!

37. What's your favorite page number in that book? -- Uh, 42?

38. What is the de Broglie wavelength of an electron accelerating with a total energy of 300 KeV? -- Jell-O.

39. Who knows you the best? -- My mommy.

40. Who knows you the best "in the Biblical sense"? -- Me, unfortunately.

41. Who knows you the best to testify against you? -- My little brother.

42. Describe yourself in one word. -- Cheesecake.

43. Describe yourself in one preposition. -- on

44. Just who in the Hell do you think you are? -- Why? Have I been spontaneously shapeshifting again?

45. Would you like to star in a movie about your life? -- You mean, like "Glitter"? Because that's about the level of my acting ability.

46. Would you like to star in a transgendered-midget porn movie about your life? -- As long as I don't have to be the grip.

47. Are you a generous person? -- When I'm not broke.

48. Can I borrow $100? -- Yeah, you know that broke thing I mentioned in the last answer?

49. Did you lie on this test? -- Well, yeah. What fun would it be if I didn't lie at least once?

50. Did you lie on that last question? -- Never! Liars go to Hell. They go to Hell and they die.

**********

Hee! I called Sunnyvale, California yesterday at work! Okay, so it's not exactly the same, but I was bitterly disappointed that the person I was calling didn't say "Sunnydale Morgue -- you nail 'em, we impale 'em" or "Help me! He's eating my brains!" Not even when I asked her to.

Hmph. She must still be pissed her town blew up.

**********

Argh. Still haven't woken up one morning with telepathy or psychic abilities. Fuck. I could so use 'em these days. Along with teleportation and a purse that always contains the exact amount of money for me to pay for whatever I need to.

*headwall*

Comments

[gamiila.livejournal.com]

Engelbert. Yeah, I like that: Engelbert. Rolls off the tongue so hesitantly. Hey, Engelbert!

and a purse that always contains the exact amount of money for me to pay for whatever I need to.

That reminds me of a joke someone told me years ago...::chuckle:: and it's still funny!::chuckle::

[tocomfortyou.livejournal.com]

Dude, Sunnyvale, CA is the car dealership capital of the world, I swear.

[purple-smurf.livejournal.com]

Heh. We got a junk-mail "enter this raffle to WIN A HOUSE!" thing yesterday, and the house? Is named Sunnydale. I kid you not. Have been trying to find it to scan, but I think it was thrown out when I wasn't looking.