apocalypsos | (no subject)

Because ...

a.) Kate Winslet ended up in the bloody movie. (Although in an admittedly schmaltzy way.)

and b.) You see that icon up there? Mmm, hmm. Yup. *nods solemnly*

The movie itself is hysterically funny. To give you some idea of each storyline ...

Liam Neeson as a widower helping his stepson woo a girl -- Just about the cutest love story in the whole movie. The little boy is so incredible you just can't help but root for him, and watching Liam help out, you know he must be a really great father.

Bill Nighy as the rock star -- I died. I absolutely died. Funniest fucking storyline in the whole movie. "Kids, don't buy drugs. Become a pop star and they'll give you them for free!" *snerk*

Keira Knightley as the newlywed whose husband's best friend falls in love with her -- Dude, the videotape! *swoons* How come no one makes a videotape like that about me?

The porn stars -- It doesn't get any better than Tim from "The Office" playing a porn star trying to ask a "co-worker" out. Awwww.

Hugh Grant as the Prime Minister in love with the tea girl -- Have I ever mentioned how much I love Hugh? And he gets to knock the American president down a notch. Yay!

Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson as a couple in a troubled marriage -- You realize, of course, that all I could picture in my head was Snape and Trelawney getting ready for bed, her making hazy predictions about his having an affair with one of his students and him snapping at her to shut her festering gob. Some of you people have warped me beyond all human comprehension.

Laura Linney as the American with the crush on her incredibly hot co-worker -- Sweetie, look. If you're going to stop making out with a sexy, sweet, intelligent, sexy, nearly-naked man to talk on the phone with your crazy brother ... *sighs* Fine, then. I'll do my civic duty and have lots of sex and babies with him, all right?

Colin Firth as the cuckolded writer falling for his Portuguese housekeeper -- Ain't Colin just adorable as all fuck when he's flustered? ;)

The British waiter who goes to Wisconsin to meet women -- You know, I was only kinda rooting for the guy, and then he went to the bar. The final shot of him and Harriet? Ha! That right there was such an out-of-left-field cameo, it totally worked. (Both cameos, actually. You'll see. ;))

So anyway, yeah. Excellent movie if you want to see something that Keanu Reeves isn't in this weekend.

I brought a romance novel with me to read beforehand, which I was so not in the mood to read. Mostly I say this because I was feeling silly, so I was picking up on weird phrasing, like "He tasted of earth". Yes, because I know I want to kiss a guy who tastes like he's been sneaking handfuls of dirt as midnight snacks.

Oh, and I really think certain romance writers should stop referring to breasts as twins. It's one thing if they do it in a beer commercial, but somehow it just throws me off in a romance novel. I suddenly start coming up with ridiculous questions I shouldn't even be asking, like, if they're twins, do they ever get confused for one another? "Oh, you want my sister, she points the other way." When they were in grade school, did they get put into different classes to avoid confusion? Is one of them the evil breast?