I hate Hollywood.

[apocalypsos]

The two things about Captivity currently bothering me almost as much as the fact that it's a boring misogynistic pile of festering maggot-covered garbage:

1. I saw a commercial for it the other day bragging about the fact that movie reviewers, focus groups, preview audiences, and pretty much people in general all think that it's a boring misogynistic pile of festering maggot-covered garbage and you should all go see HOMG YAY!

2. Elisha Cuthbert plays a runway/cover model. She's five-two and skinny but not a toothpick. Hey, that's funny, I just described MY body and if I claimed to be a runway model people would point at me and mock.

Also amusing in a morbid sort of way? That almost every review of it I've read so far contains the following three facts about the plot:

1. The killer has an accomplice.
2. There's another man locked up with her.
3. There's a lame plot twist.

I'd wonder what said plot twist could possibly be but the anvil that just magically dropped from the sky and slammed into my forehead makes it difficult for me to do anything but drool.

Oh, and filmmakers -- words cannot begin to describe how unappealing the concept of watching a girl named Jennifer be tortured for an hour and a half is for me. Really.

Comments

[cyprinella]

I hope the damn thing bombs.

My boyfriend has a couple of stickers from the Women's Issues group at his college that say "This Degrades Women" and I want to put them all over the advertisements for that movie. They gross me out as much as the ads for the Hills Have Eyes 2 that were all over Metro this spring.

[medie]

Oh yeah, watching the trailer showing up on tv? It needs to come with "Warning, large plot anvils may plummit from sky and brain viewers" tacked on for good measure.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

All I got were the commercials with some pretty blonde yelling. Could have been anything. Maybe she dropped her popcorn.

I don't get the good stuff. Sigh.

[beanside.livejournal.com]

If you keep an eye on www.themoviespoiler.com They should have the info up soon, if you're curious. I've used it for any movie I'm not sure of since Kill Bill, part one almost made me walk out on it with the "I'm Buck and I like to fuck rape scene."

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not curious. I know damn well what it's about. It's already been ripped apart by every reviewer under the sun, Joss Whedon, and Stephen King for being a misogynistic psychopath's wet dream, and badly written, acted, directed, and produced to boot.

[wiliqueen.livejournal.com]

1. Well. That's a new definition of "positive spin."

2. All they had to do was make her a cosmetics model. Boneheads.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Maybe she's a Spanish runway model, IIRC, they are cracking down on skeletons and freakjobs being the only ones modeling.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

The weight standards have been changing but the height requirement is still five-eight and taller, and it's going up.

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

it's a boring misogynistic pile of festering maggot-covered garbage:

Thank you, this cannot be said out loud enough. Sing it.

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Every time I read a review of that film, I get about one third of the way through and then start thinking: "Okay, so her co-prisoner is the bad guy, right? Come on, it's obvious just from your summary, it's hardly a spoiler. Just come out and say it already."

Of course, they never do. Feebs.

[ficangel.livejournal.com]

To everyone who keeps asking me why I refuse to see Captivity even though I practically worship at the altar of Hostel, I keep saying, "Because Eli Roth does not hate and fear my entire gender and is actually an intelligent film maker? Dingdingding!"

1. The killer has an accomplice.
2. There's another man locked up with her.
3. There's a lame plot twist.

Oh, Christ. And here I was grudgingly saying that maybe, maybe, the movie had a redeeming feature in that there were two prisoners, even if the ad group was exploitative in the extreme and was only focusing on the girl. So much for that idea.

[lauthe.livejournal.com]

Did you check out the review on http://www.pajiba.com ? It's a thing of beauty. Rage-fulled, no-harsh-words-spared beauty. And they give the complete spoiler for the "plot twist," and even though it's easy to figure out through those three points, the full explanation will piss you off even more.

[lauthe.livejournal.com]

Er, rage-fueled. Damn inability to spell.

[tsuki-no-yami.livejournal.com]

Seconded.
That Pajiba review was a thing of beauty. I almost want to print it out and tape it onto any Captivity posters I see.