So I'm watching VH-1 ...

[apocalypsos]

I'm not the only one who wants to reach through the screen and smack every single one of those guys every time there's a commercial for The Pickup Artist, right?

I mean, I know I'm not, but still.

I kind of want to use a two-by-four with a rusty nail through it.

Comments

[darqstar.livejournal.com]

Yes, Yes, YES! And what really gets me is that I see at least three of those guys I would have dated, or at least taken time to get to know when I was single. But the master himself? Creeps me the hell out. If he'd approached me, I would have told him to disappear A.S.A.P.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

He looks like he leaves a thin layer of slime behind wherever he goes. Just ... ew.

[angry-geologist.livejournal.com]

A 2x4 with a single nail in it? Dear, you're not thinking quite big enough.

Add more nails, glue a few broken bottles to the business end, and tie some rabid nuclear weasels on strings to the nails, and I think you'll nearly have it.

[cleverthylacine]

The guy who runs that show, Mystery? I used to post on the Rules Boards from 1999-2001 or so, and the Speed Seduction guys used to troll us, and I'd go to their usenet group and argue with them. It's so hilarious to actually SEE Mystery. I had no idea he looked like that. It cracks me up so fucking much.

I don't remember Matador or the other one, but Mystery and Ross Jeffries and I went rounds now and again.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ugh. He doesn't look sexy to me at ALL. He looks like a petri dish wearing a fur hat. What woman in her right mind would -- okay, so maybe I just answered my own question.

(He just ... he has LIPS tattooed on his NECK. Something about that is so fucking gross.)

[cleverthylacine]

He doesn't look sexy to me, either, he looks like an annoying whiney Gothboy. And I'm right there with you on the lips.

I can't BELIEVE this is the same guy that I was talking to online in 2000.

I should have given him EVEN MORE shit than I did :)

[theliel.livejournal.com]

enlighten us poor students of the tee-vee, who not know these things, oh maven of the reality shows, what is 'the pickup artist' you speak of?h

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

The Pickup Artist is this show about these schlubs who are taught how to treat women like brainless slabs of meat how to pick up hot chicks by this "professional pickup artist" who's got the lack of brain cells balls to go out in public and call himself Mystery. (The only mystery apparently being just how many venereal diseases he's carrying.)

Really, it's just this slimy guy wearing a gigantic black-fur hat teaching guys who'd probably be the hit of any sci-fi con I've ever been at how to pick up bimbos.

[evenfers.livejournal.com]

funny, hadn't ever heard of this show until reading salon's hilarious interview with this guy last week. He's just flailing there at the end, it starts with bullshit, then he tries being patronizing and non responsive, then it's like "woman with a brain! abort! abort!"

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/08/06/mystery_qa/index.html

[cleverthylacine]

He was exactly like that 10 years ago on USENET. OMG what a loooooooooozah.