(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

It snowed last night here. Wheeee! Which means, of course, that there's fifty feet of snow on the ground and the supermarkets are completely buried and instead of a bus, I'll be pick up by great big sled dogs -- oh, I'm sorry. I believed the meteorologists's hype there for a second.

So, yeah. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, I guess. Have I mentioned how much I hate winter? *glares out the window* Fucking winter wonderland.

And my hatred is probably only half because it's cold and nasty and icky and physically energy-zapping. Okay, sixty-forty. It's also because so many people take any snowfall as a license to go insane and shop as if a nuclear holocaust were being predicted. "Oh, God, it's going to snow?! But ... but ... but I don't own a snowblower! Or toilet paper! Or bread or milk or eggs or other essentials for making french toast!"

And I'm pretty sure I've done this rant already, but I can't help it, since yesterday at work, Captain Asshat's idea of intriguing conversation was to pop his head into my office at regular intervals and yell things like, "They just activated the Emergency Broadcast System for two inches of snow!" followed by what-incredible-rubes-they-have-here laughter. Yeah, laugh it up, dumbass. This is the same guy who argued yesterday when the lady from Ecuador told him he had an accent that he was from Ohio and Ohio is the only place on the planet without an accent. I shit you not, those were his words. He also asked what I meant when I said that I'm from Pennsylvania and *I* have an accent, then answered his own question and said, "Oh, yeah, Pennsylvania Dutch. I forgot." Because of course, everyone in Pennsylvania is Amish. (His words, too. Or close enough.) Then he proceeded to speak in a Canadian accent, just like all us Pennsylvania Dutch. *eye roll* I like to imagine he has to wear earmuffs when he leaves the house to keep his head from whistling when the wind blows.

Anyway, yesterday when I went Christmas shopping, I bought my mom more movies to add to her collection of "Movies I Will Watch Regardless Of Whether Or Not Something Much Better is On." I got her Jaws, An Officer and a Gentleman, and Steel Magnolias. If nothing else, my mom's incredibly easy to shop for.

I think I should shower now. Oh, yes.

Comments

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

Tie him up and ship him to Oklahoma. Then he can start whining about accents.

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

Oh, speaking of snow... you know, I'm so glad we don't work for Diversified anymore. Remember that ridiculous foul weather policy they had there?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. The unfortunate thing was, that wasn't the only company I worked for up there whose foul weather policy was that stupid. PA was filled with morons making business policy, as far as I could tell.

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

So very glad we're not there anymore. Though, I do sorta miss the people. Just not the bullshit.

[nute.livejournal.com]

Dude, we have what, MAYBE a half-inch of slush? But yes, welcome to Virginia, where the locals tend to panic if there's any precipitation, since it means that the gods are obviously angered. And woe betide anyone who drives SANELY and RATIONALLY when the gods are angered, for only those who putter along at five miles an hour on the interstate are safe from their wrath.

And it's not Ohio that lacks the accent (my mother's from Ohio, left there about 40 years ago and STILL has the accent). It's Oregon, near as I can tell. No discernible local quirks.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I spent five minutes trying to explain to him that if Ohio is the only place without an accent, that *is* the Ohio accent.

He didn't take well to that. Apparently, Ohio teaches the King's English with an entire lack of accent, and damn me to hell for even suggesting it. Or something.

And yeah, with the slush. And it's already melting away. Damn. *sarcastic finger snap* And here I thought it would stay forever.

[nute.livejournal.com]

I tell you, the locals here are just a bunch of weather pansies. "Oh, we can't walk to the holiday party because it's cold!". I'm all "Dude, it's ten blocks to the waterfront, and it's NEVER cold on the waterfront." These people bundle up in friggin' wolf pelts like Eskimos if there's a stiff breeze out.

Man, I'm from a warm state, and *I* can handle the winter weather better than my cow-orkers. Pathetic little weak fleshbags. First against the wall when the revolution comes, I swear.

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

When we moved to Virginia from Chicago we were amazed when they closed the schools down for 2 inches of snow. I was thrilled, mind you, but I had been used to going to school after a huge snowstorm and following in my big sister's footprints.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I once had to walk to school after a massive ice storm swept the area. For some reason, they still kept the schools open. Or at least, they kept ours open, but we were run by an utter moron at the time.

It wasn't that it was cold that makes me remember it. It was because it was really windy, and as I was crossing the soccer field to get to school, the wind blew so hard it swept itty bitty me right off my feet up into the air, so that I ended up slamming down against the ice-covered soccer field on my back.

I think I lie there for about fifteen minutes thinking, "Okay, should I get up and walk back home, or should I just scream really loud until someone brings me a wheelchair?"

Yeah, I got up and walked to school. I was a weenie back then.

[ampersand.livejournal.com]

http://www.vgcats.com/vgc_comics/?strip_id=93

It's the second to last panel that gets me...

[cleobourne.livejournal.com]

Fucking winter wonderland.
I conquer. Here Here!I live in colorado and dispies winter. so you have my winter hating support! now fall is weather I can dig

[akacat]

I wish that for just one day (oh hell, permanently for all I care) I could swap the audio processing portion of my brain with a Brit, so that 'generic American' would sound like an accent to me.

Actually, I'd just like to hear/analyze accents well enough to properly imitate them.

[cmstephens.livejournal.com]

Out here, I've seen the paranoid shopping rushes and cancelling of school when there was only a chance of snow! And then... it didn't snow!

Also, Corporal Asshat (there, I've just demoted him) should be tied to a chair, hung upside-down in it, and forced to listen to as many accents as humanly possible. Start him off with actual Penn. Dutch people, then Canadians (since he couldn't get those right), and then take it from there...

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I love when they tell us we'll be buried in snow.

The only way I would have been buried in snow yesterday is if I'd been run over by a steamroller first.

[sinnerforhire.livejournal.com]

What part of PA are you from? I'm from the H-burg area and I go to Elizabethtown College, and I've been told that I have a Nebraska accent. WTF?

Although, I used to think that PA was the only place without an accent. Of course, I was also 12.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Forest City, up by Scranton. Occasionally, I lean towards a New Jersey accent, but I blame that on my aunts and uncles. (My mom's side was from New Jersey, which is weird because my mother sounds like she was born and raised in PA and only sets foot in NJ to shop.)

[hippiechiq.livejournal.com]

Hehe. I've lived in Ohio for 3 years and still giggle at the accent. And I love that--whenever I'd mention I was from Lancaster (and this was when I did live in Pa), there was the inevitable question: "Oh, are you Amish?"

...then if I said I was from Ephrata, there was "Oh, do you do heroin?"

[herewiss13.livejournal.com]

This is the same guy who argued yesterday when the lady from Ecuador told him he had an accent that he was from Ohio and Ohio is the only place on the planet without an accent. I shit you not, those were his words.

What a silly guy. Everyone knows it's the Northwest which retains the pure strain. I'd say Oregon alone, but that'd be chauvinistic. I'm willing the share the accolade with Washington...or at least southern Washington. ;-)

Hah!

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

I laugh at your ignorance. Foolish American.

Truly, accentless English is spoken only in the UK. In fact, it is spoken in only one part of the UK; everywhere else they have obnoxious regional accents.

Yes, for English spoken as our ancestors intended, you must visit Perthshire. Home, by way of perspective, of Ewan McGregor.

His father tiled my great-aunt's kitchen floor. Small world, huh?

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

Okay, first of all, you have a PA accent? Do you sound anything like P!nk? Do you want a stalker?

Second, I'm British. I live for bad weather, just to show off my immunity. And here is a genuine quote from the Cypriot newspaper I currently work for.

"The storm came out of nowhere and there was the problem of the dirt from the fields blocking the gutters. The gutters were cleaned in October and we did not expect this sudden rainfall," said [Public Works Department spokesman] Lefteris.
We did clean the gutters and after 20 minutes the flooding subsided."
Asked why floods caused havoc every year in Cyprus, Lefteris said it couldn't be helped. "There were horrific floods in France too. They are inevitable."

Now, a little perspective. This island has floods every frickin' December. And they are caused, every time, by the kind of thunderstorm that we have every couple of weeks in England, to clear the atmosphere. The kind that normal people like to walk in. The kind that you can see coming a week in advance.
The towns have no drainage to speak of.

You wanna talk about weather wimps?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Well, when I get a sore throat, I kinda do. She's a little more Southern PA, which means I sound a wee bit more New Jersey than she does. (I'm going to try that phone-posting deal later hopefully, so we'll see.) But hey, I'm all for stalkers. :)

And I'm tempted to tell my officemates that my parents are currently getting a foot and a half of snow just to see the looks on their faces. Of course, it also means I'll have to put up with Captain Asshat (who, by the way, just referred to a totally black-robed female customer as a "ninja". Moron.)

Nervous

[kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com]

How bad is it in DC? I'm supposed to fly through DC tomorrow. I've been checking the weather report and the airport reports for the past five hours straight, nervous that my flight's gonna get cancelled. Eeek, why did it have to snow THIS weekend:(