(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

So, yeah. Deleted that first phone post, which was apparently me on mute. Blech. But at least the second one worked. Yay! Now I can stop bugging my friend at work who has the only internet connection. (I'll just pretend there's no such thing as email.)

Basically, it was me ranting. Between Captain Asshat and the people at the other end of the phone, I was surrounded by idjuts. Not even idiots, idjuts. Yesterday's pearl of wisdom from Captain Asshat:

CA: *singing "Oklahoma!"* Oklahoma, where the waving wheat smells sweet ...
Me: Uh, actually, it's "Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain".
CA: Oh, what, are you into show tunes?
Me: No, I was in chorus in high school and we had to sing that one year. *pause* You know, Hugh Jackman was in "Oklahoma".
CA: Wolverine? *in that aren't-only-gay-guys-in-musicals tone of voice*
Me: Yeah, it's called acting.
CA: *ignores me, goes back to humming the song* Ah, Sondheim.
Me: *resists the urge to mention "Oklahoma" is Rodgers and Hammerstein, and not Sondheim*
CA: You know, I met Sondheim once.
Me: And?
CA: *shocked that gets no reaction* You know, Stephen Sondheim.
Me: *wtf?!* Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you meant Joe Sondheim. *fakesquees*

I'd try to beat some sense into him, but why should I have to work to make him smarter?

But the people on the phone ... look, all I'm doing is asking them to verify their address. Just tell me where you live. Is that so hard? I keep expecting to ask someone where they are only for them to answer, "I don't know. I'm standing at a pay phone in the middle of nowhere and I can't remember who I am anymore! Help m--" Followed by a click and an ominous buzzing.

Oh, and yesterday I was listening to the radio and heard "Tom Cruise is in the Last Samurai this weekend", and suddenly there were porn and tabloids in my head and every single one of you has warped my fragile little mind. :)

Comments

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

Hey, you know what just occurred to me? Maybe he's flirting with you! He's trying to get your attention in that annoying grade school way.

heh heh

Okay, I'm pre-coffee, what do I know?

he liiiiikes you . . . he liiiiikes you

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. He certainly acts like it sometimes. Ick.

I'd just like it stated for the record that there is no one at work that I find the least bit emotionally, mentally, or physically attractive in any way. No one. And just for fun, half of the guys have hit on me. Oh, yay.

[deadspiders.livejournal.com]

CA: Wolverine? *in that aren't-only-gay-guys-in-musicals tone of voice*
Me: Yeah, it's called acting.

You should have mention that Jackman just did 'The Boy From Oz' on Broadway, starring as... (*drumroll of nervous homophobia*) A gay man! That would have just made his day. After he claimed to have met the playwright, of course. ;P

[wickedripeplum.livejournal.com]

Dear captain asshat. Don't be mixing up Rodgers and Hammerstein and Sondheim ever again or be and my 5 best friends will come put a cap in your ass.

[dragonsinger.livejournal.com]

*ROTFLOL* You mean to tell me guys like that actually exist? He's too funny.

[errantman.livejournal.com]

When I worked at a pizza shop, a Stanford student called up to order a pizza...

Me: "Thank you for calling... Will this be for pick up or delivery?"
Her: "Delivery"
Me: "Okay, and may I have your phone number?"
Her: "I don't have a phone number."
Me: *long pause, then in an exasperated tone:* "Then what are you talking on?"
Her: "A cell phone."
Me: "May I have the cell phone number?"

After that she got it.

Aren't customers fun.