Fandom Wank, I *heart* you.

[apocalypsos]

If for no other reason than finding this link in the comments:

Voodoo Doughnuts

Hi, there, doughnut third down on the left with maple frosting and bacon on it! Would you like to come live at my house? Please?! *grabbyhands*

*****

Someone needs to write me, like, ridiculously insane J2 crackfic. I want fic where Jared happily has sex with everyone he meets and blew Jensen within five minutes of meeting him and Jensen's falling in love while Jared bangs anything that moves. I want J2 fic based off that story of the transgender guy carrying the baby. I want CW RPS where they're all in the circus and Jensen is the sideshow freak nobody's seen and Jared's the clown who befriends him. I want fic where Jensen, Jared, Chad and Christian used to be in this ridiculous boyband in the nineties and now they've got weird jobs like hosting reality shows and training to be ninjas and everybody debates whether or not they're gay. I want fic where they meet up at a sci-fi convention where Jared used to be this Wesley Crusher-type annoying kid character on a cult classic and kinda bounces around cons like a spazz and Jensen is this famous Jared impersonator who wears the dorky uniform and a wig but secretly thinks his character was a tool and can argue it in detail with episode titles and minor character names and whatnot. I want fic where the CW gang are all house husbands in this fancy gay neighborhood and they all meet up twice a week to discuss books or feed the homeless or secretly (or not-so-secretly) star in porn together or something. I want fic where Jared and Jensen are secretly witches or gods or something and keep playing magical tricks on one another before finally making out with one another. I want fic where Jared is unabashedly flailingly fantastic and is a celebrity gossip columnist like Perez Hilton (except not a tremendous douchebag) and Jensen is the hot tough reserved uber-male action hero who develops this HUGE crush on him. I want fic where Jared is an octopus at the zoo and Jensen is the squeezy Nemo toy Jared won't let go off. I want fic where Jared and Jensen are those two otters holding hands in that YouTube video. I want fic where they're Muppets.

So, yes. Someone should write me one or all of those.

Bonus points for cramming them all into one story realistically.

\o/

EDIT: Um, I may reserve that action hero one. Maybe. Urgh.

Comments

[wolfshark]

If someone manages to get them all in one story - realistically - I will personally bake cookies which I will then send to their house!

[cacahuate.livejournal.com]

Voodoo! <333 Portland.

I would send you a bacon doughnut but somehow I don't think that would work out very well.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

*snickers* I have a feeling I'm going to end up buying a Krispy Kreme, making my own maple frosting and bacon, and doing it that way. Let's see how that turns out. :)

[arlan-bishop.livejournal.com]

Hah! Please keep us updated on your at-home doughnut mad scientist experiments. BTW, I have tried Voodoo's maple/bacon...WHOA. I felt like I had eaten an entire fried raft, but I am glad I did it.

[scary-being-me.livejournal.com]

GOOD GOD, WOMAN!

My brain just exploded.

[pescivendolo.livejournal.com]

Voodoo Doughnuts! I've been there! I wasn't brave enough to try the maple bacon, but maybe next time. I hear it's fabulous.

[nyoka.livejournal.com]

I love crazy West Coast things like that donut shop! It's the most awesome place EVER. And so good!

And yes, I want all those fics too!!!!! *grabby hands*

[sinnerforhire.livejournal.com]

Would you settle for Sam and Dean at a sci-fi convention? 'Cause I'm writing that right now.

[huggenkiss.livejournal.com]

I honestly couldn't choose just one of those prompts to see in fic - I want to see them ALL! Dude, your brain is a fantastic and glorious place to live! :)

[swingangel.livejournal.com]

LOVE Voodoo!

Best drunk food in the world those donuts *nods*

You can also get one that is shaped...er...phalliclly (is this even a word?), with a cream center.

That and saint cupcake... heaven.

[deirdre-c.livejournal.com]

This post has shot up the list of My Favorite Places... straight to #1. It's the "and a wig" that did it.

[janissa11.livejournal.com]

Good grief, that's a HERD of bunnies! GREAT bunnies! ::fantasizes::

[obsessed1.livejournal.com]

I want fic where they're Muppets.

Dude. That will only work if it's a crossover AU with Angel where they didn't get turned back from puppets right away...

[naanima.livejournal.com]

You are AWESOME@

And this is like the bestest post, EVER!

*PRAYS for someone to write any of the above fic!*

[elucreh.livejournal.com]

Okay, see, the thing is? In bandom?

To my knowledge, three of those have been written.

(It is a scary scary shamy place, but OMG it brings the crack)

[sophie-448.livejournal.com]

*blinks* I think my brain actually whited out from that many awesome ideas in one place.