For the record ...

[apocalypsos]

... it's a hell of a lot of fun reading the one-star Breaking Dawn reviews on Amazon.

EDIT: Oh, man, I just found a five-star review complimenting Smeyer for giving the main characters agency and free will. HA. HAHAHAHA.

Comments

[dhaunea.livejournal.com]

I know! I was doing that the morning after it came out. I should go back and do it some more!

And RE: your post on alternative ya vampire lit? That's an awesome idea.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, the four- and five- star reviews are pretty classic, too. If they could sound a little more condescending to the haters than they already do, that'd be great.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Oh man. :-D

Have you read Cleolinda's recap of BD? It's a thing of beauty. Hee

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

The best part is that most of the four and five star reviews have this attitude like, "Well, I don't know what book YOU read, because the one *I* read was made out of rainbows and unicorns and kittens! You're just mad everybody ended up happy and Jacob ended up with an infant instead of Bella!" And the people writing one-star reviews are like, "Uh, no, the book just sucked. HELLO."

Oh, YES. Wouldn't have missed it for the world. :)

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

I read the first one for the sparkly fun, and haven't quite been able to bring myself to read the next two. This last one, though? No way. I like my brain where it is; I don't want it to leak out my ears. Even the excerpts Cleo posted (esp. the second part OMG yuck) were sometimes too much.

But the snarking of it? The snark is my friend. :-D

(the whole 'imprinting on an infant' and 'promise ring given to a baby WTF' will never ever ever not be creepy)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I read the leaked first seven chapters and it was a winceworthy reminder of why I gave up on Twilight halfway through -- because I can never remember who I hate more, Edward or Bella. Although by virtue of being a teenage girl, Bella usually leads.

The imprinting-on-a-baby thing creeps me out. I get what she was trying to get at with their interest being merely protective until they're old enough, but oh, man, it feels like an arranged marriage and ... UGH.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

And you know she wrote about baby Loch Ness aging abnormally fast so she can write the next one-- "Jacob and Nessie's Adventures!" and still keep all her secondary human characters instead of dealing with them getting older.

(of course, Bella will still angst about her OMG birthday and I'm getting so ooooold even though I don't look it in fact I look even better than I did in the last book and why are people throwing parties for me, GAWD)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I still love all of the angsting over, "If you don't turn me now I'm going to come back from college looking SO MUCH OLDER than you!" Somebody explain to that idiot that there's not a great big aging process between 18 and 22.

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

Oh dear god. I just realized--

I'm turning 27 soon!! Ohhhh, the ancientness that is me!

*heads off to pick out tombstone*

rpg truth to power here

[theliel.livejournal.com]

but did they basically just kill a baby so that someone can be 'human' again and live happily ever after?

because the hero's sacrificing a baby for personal gain is clasic 'why are they the heros again' superdickery.

[tully-argyle.livejournal.com]

I've read a good chunk of the bad Amazon reviews myself, last night and this morning.

The five-star reviews are their own special (clueless) entertainment, as well.

I'm enjoying the fail. And the fail seems to be gaining momentum. This could become a major news item shortly (the fan revolt, the returns, etc.) That would be amusing.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I think one of my favorites so far has been the five-star review writer who basically said, "Oh, come on, you can't hate EVERYTHING about a book!" I'm tempted to find out her address and send her that Titanic romance that got me into writing. Or maybe just to throw it at her from here.

[tully-argyle.livejournal.com]

Heh. You should, that would be fitting...

:-)