EW EW EW.

[apocalypsos]

Dear creepy new guy at work,

Among other disqualifying factors in trying to get my attention in some sort of romantic capacity are the following:

-- Telling me to smile when I'm pissed off.
-- Repeatedly calling me and other female employees "sweetie," "honey," and the like.
-- Calling me Jenny when I introduced myself as Jennifer.
-- The fact that I don't date co-workers.
-- Your teeth, the few of them that you still have, are horrendous.
-- Staring at my ass as I walk away.
-- Making me the only topic of conversation you want to talk to other people about.
-- Asking me what I would like a man to give me for my birthday.
-- Touching my hair without asking.
-- Bathing in some of the most noxious cologne I've ever had the displeasure of encountering.
-- Responding to my comment the other day that I'd like to be a mom one day by offering to father my children.
-- Sneaking up behind me while I was talking to another co-worker and attempting to give me quite possibly the worst shoulder massage in human history without asking. And no, not the one you see in every sexual harrassment video known to man.
-- Drawing me a HUGE happy-birthday wish from yourself on a cardboard box when you've only known me a week.

Please don't turn me into the girl who runs to the boss because every new guy won't stop being a fucking creepazoid in my general direction. Jesus on a pogo stick, y'all.

Sincerely,

Me

Comments

[bailunrui.livejournal.com]

EW. EW. EW. :(

[marag.livejournal.com]

::flaily hands:: Ew ew ew ew! Didn't this guy ever see *any* of those stupid sexual harassment videos?

(Which reminds me...who was telling me about sitting in an HR class and watching that video while the guy next to him was saying, in a stunned voice, "But I do that" to everything? Did I read it somewhere or was it someone in RL? Argl. I can't remember.)

[slashfairy.livejournal.com]

ew ew ew, as someone else said so perfectly.

i SWEAR. the stupid, it amazes.

[wtfbrain.livejournal.com]

EWWWWW. Sorry you have to deal with that kind of crap.

[prettybird.livejournal.com]

Ew! *flails* Touching someone you barely know without their permission? WTH dude.

[goodbyebird]

Sounds like someone needs to have a note on sexual harassment left on his desk, because ew.

[spiritof1976.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a classy guy. Does he have a sister with similar attributes?

[dragojustine.livejournal.com]

Oh, classy, classy, classy guy.

I can help bury the body, y/y?

[allthelivesofme.livejournal.com]

EW EW EW. D:

Touching my hair without asking

And okay, the others are of course freaking annoying/creepy/nasty, too, but this is such a huge personal pet peeve of mine. When I worked at the local donut shop this guy used to reach across the counter when I had to turn my back to grab someone's order and he'd yank on my hair. I came close to homicide so many times it's not even funny. Combined with this one:

attempting to give me quite possibly the worst shoulder massage in human history without asking

Do. Not. Touch. Me. Without. Permission.

I swear, I'd recommend getting that tattooed so this jerk would know, but he sounds exactly the type to try and touch said tattoo. Bleh.

[paradoxymoron.livejournal.com]

Creepy Guy is creepy

....okay, so what does work?
*gets pen*

[crevette.livejournal.com]

::puts on management hat::

Report his ass for sexual harrassment now. Offering to father your children and touching is way way way way way over the line.

[fyrdrakken]

I second this advice. You want this stuff going on his employee record, and furthermore someone in management might even be able to make him stop.

[hiddenw.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I hate creepy guys. Right now I am dealing with my creepy neighbor insomniac guy. Fun times!

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Gross.

I agree with everybody else suggesting a nice little note to Human Resources. And make some noise about it when he does things like that, so you have witnesses that can give first hand reports of douchebaggery.

Good luck, and your last line inspired this icon...

[azurelunatic]

Probably the best birthday present he could give you would be never speaking to you or of you again.

[sabra-n.livejournal.com]

Telling me to smile when I'm pissed off.

Oh, man is that annoying. Away, Skeevy Guy! Away!

[huggenkiss.livejournal.com]

EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

-- Asking me what I would like a man to give me for my birthday.

"I'd like you to take a flying leap into a vat of acid."

-fantasizing, don't mind me.

[hellziggy.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

I'm not a fan of running to HR with claims of sexual harassment for every little thing, but this guy? Totally hits multiple harassment buttons.
The shoulder massage, the offer to father your children, touching your hair, staring at your ass, calling you sweetie & honey. Yeah, that's more than enough of a list to go to HR with!

[idadebeautreux.livejournal.com]

-- Repeatedly calling me and other female employees "sweetie," "honey," and the like.

I hate that SO MUCH. I had a technician use the word "sweetheart" in place of every comma throughout a consultation on removal of my wisdom teeth (not going to happen, jerks). I wanted to answer, "Do you know of any other sweethearts who will cause you to have to scrape your testicles off the roof of your mouth, or am I a special case?"

[random-serious.livejournal.com]

Yeah, OK, eww. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? (Without it coming back to bite you.) A manager? Boss?