Well, it took me long enough, but I finally made it to VA. It only took me four hours longer than it should have, but I can only blame part of that on traffic. I got so totally lost at several points. What I could use is a guide dog who can drive.
Anyway, the traffic. Ugh. I was stuck in it forever. Literally. I'm positive I was in a time warp, kind of like in "Groundhog Day" but with more cars and less rodents. It did give me a lot of time to get things done, though -- wrote down a few thoughts, finished a romance novel, established world peace. You're welcome, by the way.
Like I said, though, sitting in my car ... well, the thoughts wandered. And then came back, but forgot to bring nachos. Take for example ...
Why is there a car called an Audi but not one called an Innie?
How come they cut all the curses out of the Grease Megamix but they left in "pussy wagon"? Isn't it still pretty bad in that situation, or was Danny Zuko rescuing homeless kittens on the weekends?
"Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly"? Well, jeez, is it a bad thing if my guardian angel bought a rocket pack last week?
You know what's the best thing about driving down I-81? Sticking your head out the window in Hershey and taking hits off the air.
The last half of Pennsylvania smelled, as always, of the official state stench -- cow manure. Every time I smell cow manure, I think of chip tossing contests. How disgusting is that, exactly? You know, when monkeys fling poo, it's a sign they haven't been trained yet. When humans do it, it's a sign not only that they're trained, but they're probably going to make a few bucks because of it.
Hmm. I think my brain cells need a hobby.
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