*squeeee*

Thanks to _redpanda_, now the kitties in my icon really are running off cackling maniacally to do bad things. (Thankyouthankyouthankyou! *squeees again*) Don't look at me like that. There are people in New York City right now who can't turn on a lamp because of the all-encompassing evil that is my kitty icon.

Okay, so some of them can't turn on a lamp even when the power is on. Fear me, I tell you! Fear me and my adorable Siamese minions!

Ahem.

Or, you know, just my adorable minions.

Ahem.

Did I say minions? They're definitely not minions, because only evil overlords have minions. And most of the time, they suck. They're all with the groveling and cowardice, whereas my minions are Siamese cats, and if "Cats and Dogs" taught us anything, it's that Siamese cats are secretly ninjas. Plus, mine are armed with duct tape and snark, so be afraid. Be very afraid. (On a side note, I first typed "afraid" as "afried" and suddenly got a mental image of a Fourth of July barbecue at the Dahmer house. Methinks I need to step awaaaaaaaaay from the Ogrish. That mental picture was just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle too detailed.)

So anyway, definitely not taking over the world, just California. This whole election thing should be a cinch. I'm pretty sure Arnold can be distracted by cuteness and shiny objects, so he'll be easy to defeat. To be honest, I think my only real competition in a face-to-face battle would be Gary Coleman. There are probably five people in the world who are shorter than me, and he's one of them. I could so totally kick Gary Coleman's ass in a catfight, it isn't even funny.

Huh. Let's check that off the list of, "Things I Never Thought I'd Say."

...

tree220, stop selling tickets. TP vs. Gary Coleman Catfight? Never going to happen. Never.

Unless there's money involved. Is there money involved? Or Cheetos? Ooo, or a perfectly formed clone of Orlando Bloom?

God, I'm easy.

Good. Holy. Lord.

Okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but did I see Reichen stripping down nekkid in next week's episode of "The Amazing Race"? And while I'm asking questions, if I did see Reichen stripping down nekkid in next week's episode of "The Amazing Race", how come I'm not lying downstairs happily hyperventilating and savoring that yummy image rather than sitting in front of my computer, verifying I didn't smoke some really good crack this afternoon?

I know I saw Kelly's Jon nekkid, but I'm in complete and total denial and will probably be attributing that to the crack any minute now.

Although I do get the giggles every time I think how small Jon's hidey-blur was. Hee. All I keep thinking is how the camera adds ten pounds, and how if the camera did give Jon ten pounds, he probably went to the nearest British man-spa and paid for a waxing with it. *user shudders*