(no subject)

Bought "The Office" yesterday. Is it wrong that I keep expecting Gareth to end his interrogations by popping out an eyeball and flinging it at the accused?

(no subject)

I would really, really appreciate it if my brain would stop referring to the second novel in the series I'm writing as "I Was A Pissed-Off Three-Hundred-Year-Old Pregnant Obsessive Necrophiliac."

Not that it isn't incredibly accurate, but still.

EDIT: Man, does that feel like something I left out of a Buffy fanfic ...

"Wait a minute ... how many dead guys have you slept with?"
*snerk*
"Shut up, Faith."
"You've had sex with dead guys?"
"Well, just the two, but they don't count."
"Aw, that's our adorable little necrophiliac."
"Would you please stop calling me that?"
"Would you rather She Who Has Sex With Corpses?"

(no subject)

You want to know what the definition of a vicious taunt is? Today, somebody brought in two locked film cannisters to be shipped. As it was, the movie was "Calendar Girls", which meant I stood nearby for ten minutes whimpering and occasionally reaching out to lightly pet the cases.

I can only assume that had "Return of the King" been in them, this post would be friends-only, give precise directions to a top-secret location, and self-destruct in ten seconds.

The counter guy's reaction was funny, too, because he hadn't heard of the movie and the guy shipping it only told him there were naked chicks in it. You know, if I'd been thinking clearly, I probably could have convinced every guy who worked there that it was Chock Full O' T&A and gotten a sneak preview of the thing two months early. Or, you know, however much of it I managed to see before the guys revolted at the sight of Past Middle-Aged T&A and tore the poor, defenseless celluloid to shreds.