A leftover rant from yesterday at work

Dear asshat,

Everybody does not know your fucking address, so stop sounding so damn condescending when you give it to me over the phone. Fuck you, the horse you rode in on, the guy who made the saddle, the chick who fed it apples, and the little girl who braided its goddamn mane. Grrr.

Sincerely,

Me

EDIT: Is it wrong that I think I'm going to rewrite the novel I'm working on backwards just so I can write the fight scenes first? Or maybe it's just that I want to torture some characters before the weekend's over.

(no subject)

Aaaaaaand I'm back to debating whether or not this novel should be first-person present switching between different characters or third-person past. This is what I get for reading the damn thing and liking it the way it is.

I want someone to read it who's not in my writer's group. (Sorry, Misfits, you guys are waaaaay too thorough when it comes to editing. That's not a bad thing, just ... I just want people who haven't read DMIDS and aren't going to send me back a highly detailed beta to read this first. Then you guys. 'Kay?)

Anybody want to volunteer to peek at a couple of chapters of this story? If you've read "Ghost in the Shell", then you know what it looks like when I write first-person present tense. This one's original and each chapter's from the point of view of a different character, though, so there, you're forewarned. (I'm just worried it'll be confusing, is all. It's not confusing me, but I'm writing the damn thing.)

I don't plan on posting on LJ for obvious reasons but anyone who wants a peek, I'll email it to you.

I blame ibanezaxe and his "Do You Know Me?" quiz ...

... for making me realize that after being out of high school for eight years, and despite the fact I'm still a virgin, I'm still using valuable brain cells to remember the underwear preferences of at least seven of the guys I went to high school with.

Sheesh. No wonder I can't do basic math.

EDIT: Just for that, I should have sex with my friends list again. You know, just to answer that eternal boxers/briefs question.

...

Pfff. Like you people even own underwear.

(no subject)

Signs I've read waaaaaaay too much fanfic:

Captain Asshat's got a cold, which he got from Private Asshat, which he got from me about a week ago. When another guy at work said the old Captain was spreading pestilence, he blamed me for being a big plague carrier.

My immediate reaction was to make horns with my fingers next to my head and say, "Moo! I'm a mad cow!"

I have no idea where it comes from, all I remember is Jubilee said it. And I think it was a MSTing.

Again, brain cells I could be using for more important things. Like the cure for cancer, or the words to "It's The End of the World As We Know It."