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What the hell am I doing up at 6:30 in the bloody morning?!

Oh, yeah. Work just called and asked me to come in early. On Oscar nomination Tuesday? Sure, let me just pry myself away from my prime spot right in front of the TV with a crowbar and several burly henchmen.

What's that you say? I'm stuck to the chair in my excitement? Eh, they'll just have to wait.

No, not that kind of stuck to the chair in my excitement. You're gross and should seek medical attention immediately.

P.S. *sigh* And I was having the most wonderful dream about frogs. I didn't even know it was possible to have a wonderful frog dream, but there you are.

I think one was cleaning my room while one made me pastina for breakfast and two others pitched my novel to a production company. Frogs rock.

Oscar nomination thoughts ...

Okay, no Sean Astin, which is a downer, but dude ... Johnny Depp!!! YES!

And holy fuck, they nominated Keisha Castle-Hughes for "Whale Rider" ovr Nicole Kidman! Academy, I take back nearly every evil thing I said about you ever, ever, ever! *bounces*

And Seabiscuit beat out Cold Mountain for a Best Picture nomination. HA! *adores*

Now, I must buy "Whale Rider" on DVD to show everyone lovely, empowering Keisha! Wheeee!

Today's Captain Asshat-isms ...

On the Oscar nominations ... "None of these movies can be any good. I mean, weren't most of them in the movie theaters a week before they lost a bunch of money and got kicked back out again?"

On the acting nods ... "The only one that's a good performance is Johnny Depp, and I haven't even seen that one yet, either."

On Bill Murray's chances at winning Best Actor ... "If Bill Murray wins the Oscar, the apocalypse will be upon us. I liked him in 'What About Bob?', but he didn't get nominated for that. Hey, he did work with Richard Dreyfuss. Maybe that's why he got nominated."

On the type of movie that deserves to get nominated --- and remember, he dumped on LOTR ... "Hey, didn't you ever see 'Thinner'? That's a great movie!"

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I don't think I'll be doing that secret crush meme.

I shag you people all the time in imaginary group orgies. Trust me, I like you.

Maybe you didn't notice, but these amuse me.

A big-budget popcorn movie based on a ride at Disneyland has five Oscar nominations, one of which is for an acting award.

This year's best actor category features Ed Wood, Gandhi, Lemony Snicket, Peter Venkman and Jeff Spicoli.

Considering the season's run of nominations for best actress and its impact on the expected Oscar nominees, last year's incumbent best actress was bumped from the category by a 13-year-old who'd never acted before this role and was being suggested in ads for the supporting actress category because the production company didn't think she had a shot at getting a lead nomination.

The same girl who ruined "Godfather, Part III" has three Oscar nominations this year.

All three of the nominees for Best Visual Effects have ten words and a colon in their titles. (Yeah, it's stupid. Odd, but stupid.)

Four out of the five Best Supporting Actress nominees can have their roles described with the phrase "oversuffering mother." (Again, stupid, but still.)

Bono and U2 won't be performing at the Oscars, but considering the nominations for Best Song, it's entirely possible Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara will.

This year, Alec Baldwin was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars for "The Cooler" and Worst Supporting Actor at the Razzies for "Cat in the Hat". Jeez, people make up your mind!

(no subject)

A big-budget popcorn movie based on a ride at Disneyland has five Oscar nominations, one of which is for an acting award.

This year's best actor category features Ed Wood, Gandhi, Lemony Snicket, Peter Venkman and Jeff Spicoli.

Considering the season's run of nominations for best actress and its impact on the expected Oscar nominees, last year's incumbent best actress was bumped from the category by a 13-year-old who'd never acted before this role and was being suggested in ads for the supporting actress category because the production company didn't think she had a shot at getting a lead nomination.

The same girl who ruined "Godfather, Part III" has three Oscar nominations this year.

All three of the nominees for Best Visual Effects have ten words and a colon in their titles. (Yeah, it's stupid. Odd, but stupid.)

Four out of the five Best Supporting Actress nominees can have their roles described with the phrase "oversuffering mother." (Again, stupid, but still.)

Bono and U2 won't be performing at the Oscars, but considering the nominations for Best Song, it's entirely possible Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara will.

This year, Alec Baldwin was nominated for Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars for "The Cooler" and Worst Supporting Actor at the Razzies for "Cat in the Hat". Jeez, people make up your mind!