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*whistles "Happy Birthday"* As of today, I'm officially twenty-seven years old. And yet I'm still going to behave like a spoiled four-year-old today. But hell, I'm justified. :)

In other news, the TroNoWriMo story is now The Monsters of Minooka. I had impeccable timing getting it a title, I guess, considering TroNoWriMo is over and I've only got about 21,000 words. But still, The Monsters of Minooka. Hee. (And, coincidentally, an idea for The Walking Dead of Wilkes-Barre. EDIT: I think I'm going to sign up for NaNoWriMo and use it to work on The Walking Dead of Wilkes-Barre. 'Cause TroNoWriMo worked out so well. *eye roll* And I've already decided to set the opening scene during La Festa Italiana, just because I want to write a supernatural fight in Courthouse Square. *cackles maniacally*)

I also called my mom yesterday and told her to tell my brother to go see Shaun of the Dead. (I would have told her to go see it, but the minute I said "zombie movie," I think I lost her. Bryan loved the trailer, though.) I asked whether she'd been able to get the Evil Bitch Laptop from Hell fixed, and she'd said the repair guy had said it was a total loss. Then she asked if I'd ever dropped it. I had to restrain myself from saying, "Only in my wildest dreams, by tossing it out of an airplane and watching it fall to its untimely demise with a great big splat."

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John Kerry, a 6-foot-4-inch Democrat, poked fun on Monday at George W. Bush, the 5-foot-11-inch Republican president for reportedly insisting that podiums be set far apart to offset his opponent's five-inch height advantage. -- Oh, give me a break. We could go further with that, you know. We could do the debates in a forest and make them both stand next to trees so that Bush looks smart in comparison and Kerry looks perky. (I'm rooting for Kerry, but still, I can tease. ;))

Unfortunate Whale Speared by Cruise Ship -- "This is the first ship strike (on a whale) that I'm aware of in the past year," said Williams. What, you mean this happens all the time?! Sheesh. (And don't look at the picture if you like animals, because awwwwwww, poor thing.)

Mt. St. Helens is about to erupt. California had an earthquake. An asteroid made its closest pass to Earth in 651 years. Four hurricanes in six weeks, and hurricane season ain't over yet. North Korea has nuclear weapons as a deterrent against war. Yeah, okay. -- This planet's starting to creep me the fuck out, and I'd like to move now. Or at least, have ourselves an apocalypse and get it over with already. Sheesh.

EDIT: I just noticed I've got little pen marks all over my thumb and spent ten minutes trying to figure out how the hell they got there, including a very realistically freaked-out stint of, "Oh my God, ghosts are writing on me in my sleep!" Then I looked down at my mouse right now and I've been using it right next to an open ink pen. Obviously, turning a year older hasn't made me smarter, but has made me more suspicious of the dark forces in the universe.

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This is God's idea of a birthday present.

Today, I was at work when one of the drivers mentioned he'd run into an IT tech on one of his deliveries who'd asked about me. So here I am thinking, "WTF?!" when the driver mentioned the IT guy had said he'd worked at DHL six months ago, had added that since many of the supervisors had left, he was thinking about reapplying for a job at DHL, and was, in the driver's words, "a short squirrelly guy."

Immediately, one name came to mind. Yes, that name.

Captain Asshat may return, though hopefully only for a brief cameo appearance. God help us all, as soon as he stops laughing hysterically at me.