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-- If I could get away with sleeping the entire day away, I would. My selfish, misbehaving reproductive system, let me show you it. No, really, let me show you it -- if all this pain and discomfort keeps up, I'll dig them out with a spoon and sew myself back up by hand.

Okay, so my real plan is to dope myself up with painkillers and try to do the writing I couldn't do yesterday thanks to my stupid stomach cramps. Urgh.

-- Pregnant Briton to escape death penalty in Laos: This entire story reeks of unwilling drug mule, and for added fun, the pregnancy is five months along, while she was arrested in August. You do the math.

-- This is actually fairly deep for a photo of Oscar the Grouch.

-- THE parents of a nine-month-old girl who died from septicemia were responsible for their baby's death because they shunned conventional medical treatment for her eczema in favour of homeopathic remedies, a court heard yesterday. You know, it's one thing to want to focus on a certain arena of medical treatment when it's working, but when you stubbornly refuse to try something else that's known to work to go along with your specialty, which clearly isn't, you're a selfish tool.

-- David Ogden Stiers, the Emmy-nominated actor who first found widespread fame playing Major Charles Winchester on the TV series M*A*S*H and who later voiced many characters in animated Disney musicals, has come out in an interview with the gay Oklahoma City blog gossip-boy.com.

-- Chace Crawford is going to be a guest of the Fox News Channel at the White House Correspondents dinner this week. Do with that information what you will.

-- Speaking of Gossip Girl stars, here's Ed Westwick at what I believe I read was a charity soccer match. I agree with one of the commenters -- he looks way better in a football kit than he does in Chuck Bass's wardrobe. Yum.

-- U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan told to "hunt people for Jesus." Oh, there's video of the chief of the military chaplains telling them as much. Lovely.

-- A fabulous article on Marian Robinson, the First Grandma. Aw, she's so cute.

-- Birth of large child nearly killed mother Holy crap, that kid's GINORMOUS. Did he invade Tokyo right after birth, or did he wait for a sandwich first?

-- Rupert Murdoch's Dickipedia entry. Heh.

-- Judge Judy vs. Michelle Bachmann comic smackdown! *dies laughing*

-- I didn't know the father of the 3-year-old little girl from Malawi that Madonna wants to adopt is only fifteen himself. Huh.

-- Jenny McCarthy is going to get her own talk show. But the question is, how many shows are NOT going to talk about how vaccines cause autism? 'Cause I can totally see her dropping that topic into every single interview somehow.
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