I get a night off and what do I do?

Well, not write, that's for damn sure.

*sigh*

I tried staring at the computer screen, I tried writing out longhand, I tried just putting my headphones and trying to get inspiration from music like I usually do, and ... nothing.

What I should really try to do is post the first part of the Dead Men in Dark Suits rewrite I started a while ago and never got to finish, or do a sort-of WIP roundup over at iblewupyourcar, or even just ramble on about the Books of Boggs over there. You know, just letting my muse have at it or whatever. It's probably the weather that's blocking me, since winter gets me into this depressed bored zone I don't get out of until spring comes, and it's maybe a little bit of hiatus, although this week Grey's Anatomy irritated me and Ugly Betty was kind of meh and while I did like this week's Supernatural, I don't feel much of a desire to talk about it other than to say that I love Dean even though, as an outsider's POV rightly points out, the man can be a complete and utter dicksmack at times.

I mean, I feel like I need a change or something and it's sad that the only thing that I can possibly come up with at this juncture is changing my username. (Which on some level seems ridiculous -- I've been trollprincess since day one on the internet, so it feels less like a username and more like an actual name and I don't want to anyway. *hands in air*) Seriously, the most amusing thing I've got to do right now is watch the cat watch the snowplows like they're the most enthralling things on the damn planet. And every time I sit down to write all I can think about is that as happy as writing anything more plotty than a grocery list makes me, I've still got to get up later and go to work and make CDs for twelve hours straight, which just shoots down any enthusiasm I've had of late.

Not to mention how much of an idiot I feel like because I go to answer comments from people and get distracted and then feel stupid for trying to answer comments I got six weeks ago and forgot about, so I don't. Which, seriously, all of the things I could be worried about and this is a pressing concern for me. There is a reason I've currently got six hundred and fifty emails in my account, y'all.

Also, my brother has a new girlfriend. A real one, and one that he won't stop talking about. Dude's in love (or something kind of like it, because honestly, I've never heard him talk about a girl like this), and I'm really fucking happy for him, and yet at the same time it makes me feel really fucking lonely. No, not in a friends kind of way, 'cause God knows I've got good friends and you guys and you're all awesome -- *hugs* -- so reminding me that I have my buds doesn't change the fact that I really want a guy. (Somebody who doesn't turn me off, thankyouverymuch.)

*shrugs*

... aaaaaand welcome to your Saturday dose of maudlin. :)