Ugh.

[apocalypsos]

Hasselbeck: Bristol Palin 'perfect' to talk no sex

Okay, look, I know I already bitched about this yesterday, but watching people bend over backwards to talk about what a great abstinence representative Bristol Palin is pisses me off, because it entirely misses the point of what teenagers will get out of it.

The point of hiring Bristol Palin as an abstinence model is that they're using her as a cautionary tale. They're using Bristol Palin as an example of, "If you don't use abstinence, this will happen to you!" My teenage self would have like, "... so?" And I was smart, but I would have looked at a gorgeous, supposedly happy young mother who's getting tons of attention and doesn't have to worry about who's going to pay her bills or feed her kid anytime soon, and I would have thought, "Where's the downside?"

Don't give me Bristol Palin. Bristol Palin, regardless of whether or not she eventually goes to college, will not have to take her kid to the free clinic or sign up for free school lunches or worry about feeding her kid ketchup sandwiches and Ramen because she can't afford anything else on a fast-food salary. Mom will never kick her out -- she's too busy using her for political capital under the mantel of "leave my family alone!" victimization. Using her as a cautionary tale for teenagers doesn't work because hell, that sort of cautionary tale is really fucking appealing. (I look at her even now and think, "You know, if I went out and got knocked up tomorrow, my parents would TOTALLY take me in!" They probably would, but that's not the point.)

The problem with displaying cautionary tales as the head of your "Choose abstinence!" campaign is that nobody's actually choosing abstinence if you're doing that. They're NOT choosing the less appealing option, which is a big difference. There's a big difference between, say, eating spinach because it's either that or brussel sprouts or eating spinach because you genuinely like spinach. (MMM. Now I want spinach.) There's a level of admitting that your abstinence suggestion is not quite as appealing as it's supposed to be if your main argument is, "The other side is worse!" Really? Then how do I know your side is any good?

I really wish that if people are going to do abstinence campaigns -- aside from the obvious complaints I've already made that you at least have to acknowledge that there are people who won't choose abstinence and help them acquire education and disease and pregnancy preventing items accordingly -- sell me abstinence. Tell people exactly how nice it is to not have to worry about pregnancy or STD scares. (Because really, I'd like to get laid and I'd love to be pregnant, but that's a nice perk.) Inform people that you don't have to have sex to get off. (Porn! Masturbation! Orgasms! You can have them all by yourself!) Stop focusing on women being the only abstinent ones. (Shut up, abstinence-only educators, you know you do.) Make some nice commercials featuring people having fun without having sex set to "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off." (Now you have that song stuck in your head, don't you? Heh.) And for fuck's sake, STOP MENTIONING GOD. (Look, if teenagers aren't going to listen to their own parents or teachers when it comes to not having sex, they're definitely not going to listen to an invisible man in the sky during the most rebellious time of their lives.)

By putting Bristol Palin in the spotlight, you're not selling me abstinence. You're making me wish I could go back in time and get pregnant in high school. Look how great it is! Sure, you get a douchetastic ex, but you get a cute baby and shiny hair and softball questions on Good Morning America! And she gets to meet Hayden Panettiere! Clearly her and her teen pregnancy are doing much better in life than *I* am.

What's so bad about telling teenage girls (because let's face it, that's the audience you're aiming for) to live their lives for themselves? Abstinence-only folks, why do you have such a hard time selling abstinence by itself? It's not actually difficult. Go to college! Get a good job! Women, think of yourselves and your own happi--

Oh.

Never mind, I see where the problem is.

Comments

[conuly]

Didn't Bristol Palin come out and say that abstinence-only education (which != abstinence advocacy per se, but you know what I mean) basically screwed her over?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Now she's claiming that was taken out of context. *eyeroll*

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

I bet you money Bristol has gotten the "as long as you live under my roof" speech, and I wouldn't be surprised if her new ABSTINENCE ALWAYS boosterism is a condition of that.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. It's a lot easier to make yourself look like a national joke than it is to go earn your own rent, I suppose.

[conuly]

When you're a young mother with no boyfriend or husband in the picture (anymore, according to all the tabloids), in Alaska, of all places?

Almost certainly.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yeah, especially considering how Palin doesn't really side with young mothers who aren't related to her when it comes to public assistance and the like.

I don't blame Bristol for staying in the situation she's in. Quite frankly, it's her best option by far. The problem is that her situation is a rare blessing compared to the vast majority of other teen pregnancies, and she has to pay for that blessing by allowing her mother to pimp her life out as a terrible mistake. (But a blessing! Sort of!)

And most teens aren't going to see that it's a 'my house, my rules' situation -- they're going to see 'oh, Mom will take care of me and my baby!', because teens aren't going to buy Bristol's doing this out of obligation unless they actually see Sarah telling her to pimp abstinence or GTFO.

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Is it just me, or does the whole thing reek of those girls in MA who had the pact to get pregnant because Juno was so heartwarming and explained that teen pregnancy would be fine and a great way to get more time with their families?

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

She's in a terrible position, but they certainly won't bring THAT up as a benefit of abstinence, will they?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, the horrible part is that she's a mom, not that her own mom's throwing her to the abstinence wolves so she can keep a roof over her head.

[conuly]

Bristol lives with her mom. What do you expect her to say?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, I expect her to do exactly like wrenlet said -- she's in a 'my house, my rules' situation, so of course she's going to change her tune. Of course, it's a bit dim and makes her look like a jackass, but hey, as long as the right wing still loves mommy and she doesn't have to go get her own rent ...

[wrenlet.livejournal.com]

Yes, but then her mother immediately claimed that she had said NO SUCH THING BECAUSE ABSTINENCE IS THE ONE TRUE WAY.

*eyeroll*

[scary-being-me.livejournal.com]

I do believe that you have hit the proverbial nail on the head.

[conuly]

Yeah, I nailed it.

[pandorablu.livejournal.com]

THIS. This whole post is why I have a problem with those that "preach" abstinence. Because to me the most public ones are either the cautionary tales, like the unfortunate Bristol, or the ones where you'd have a hard time *really* believing that they're abstinent.

[beanarie.livejournal.com]

Actually at some point in recent history there was an ad campaign with a tagline of something like "Not me. Not now." or "I choose myself." or I don't know. I can't put my finger on it. But each had a teenaged girl (I saw at least two or three spots and there may have been a boy one, but I don't recall) describing her dreams like college, pro basketball, etc, basically saying that she wasn't about to mess with that by getting knocked up. I kind of liked the message.

[lothlorienbaby.livejournal.com]

Abstinence-only folks, why do you have such a hard time selling abstinence by itself?

Exactly! Hayden actually worded it pretty well (although I don't think she was promoting abstinence-only education):

“I want a family. I actually want a lot of kids. Not like ten, maybe four. If you think, ‘Oh I can’t wait to be a mom,' that’s great, but think about it for your child and go, 'I want to be a mom but I want to be the best mom I can be. And the only way to be the best mom I can be is by waiting until I’m no longer a child and waiting until I can teach them the best morals and raise them the best I can with a good education and a good platform.'”

[azurelunatic]

Oh yes, kids should abstain until they can't any more at which point they should get married immediately, because if they didn't have kids to make them get married, marriage would DIE OUT.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

They're trying to roll back the effects of feminism and science by making people more likely to be married young with more kids than they might otherwise have. That's all it is. They don't really want people to be abstinent. In fact, they want them to suffer, hopefully thinking they've sinned, being more likely to not gain as much education or rise as high in class as they might otherwise. More desperate workforce, less competition for those who can afford it.

[meril.livejournal.com]

Oh, NO. The first I heard of all this was here, where the posters apparently found it lolarious. (Apparently Matt Garza wasn't particularly impressed by it either, and he was in it.)

[daphnep.livejournal.com]

This is a pretty awesome post. I trailed my way here from the Obama community, and think I'll be adding you, if you don't mind.