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[personal profile] apocalypsos
SPN is still downloading, but I've been dwelling on something.

So, needless to say, I loved Castiel's burn. Although, really, anything that makes Sam go all stone-faced like that is a plus.

But here's my theory. (Yes, I actually spawned a theory out of this. Go figure.)

I think we're going to get a verbal apology out of Castiel for his part in helping the angels start the apocalypse at the end of last season, possibly by the time they hit winter break.

The thing is, I think any apology for up to this point in his development would have been patently ludicrous and out of character. Hell, I'm not sure I'd buy it in the next couple of episodes or so. We're talking about a guy who was told by Dean to give him four hours before getting him, so he stood there on the side of the road ... waiting. We're talking a guy who showed more terror going up against a house of ill repute than he did against an archangel.

We're talking about a guy who's not a guy. Expecting a normal human emotion -- say, guilt -- out of an ANGEL may take a little while.

He's been getting angrier in his "burns" at Sam and Dean's parts in the apocalypse. Both Sam and Dean had a part in the apocalypse, and both have spent time feeling guilty about their own parts and reacting to their own brother's guilt. It's a mature and human response from both of them.

But Castiel isn't coming from the same place they are. Putting aside the rather glaring problem that he's an entirely different SPECIES that doesn't have the same sort of will or emotions that humans do, "I was just following orders" has an entire dimension when you're talking about angels, Godwin's aside. When the Winchesters have a disagreement about following orders, there's angst, injuries, and in the worst case scenario, a dead body (or several). When the angels have a disagreement about following orders ... yeeeeaaaaah, I think it might be a TAD more serious than everybody slamming a few doors up Heaven-side before Castiel storms off to Stanford for four years. (Not to mention that not speaking to your brother and father for a few years isn't even remotely comparable to cutting yourself off, probably for all eternity, from the entire angelic army and, at worst, God himself.)

Think of Castiel+5 years. If there's any measure to just how HUGE his defection is, doing it broke the shit out of him. That's the relationship he had with his angelic brethren, whether or not they fucked up the planet. Sam didn't speak to his brother for four years and all he did was get a dorky haircut and a hot girlfriend.

And now Castiel doesn't have that. Not even a little bit. And for added funsies, the two people who ALSO played a huge part in armageddon are still together, separations and arguments aside. They may not have forgiven themselves or each other, but they're working on it.

Castiel doesn't have that. He has his steadily growing humanity, and his slowly emerging guilt, and no goddamn clue how to deal with it or nobody he can tell. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like the guy's starting to channel his anger at himself at Sam and Dean, venting this weirdhottwitchy feeling he's been getting lately thinking back to that day.

And then there's Castiel's inability to talk anything out, which he's gotten better at this season and yet is STILL a massive pile of fail. He's always been a character who expresses himself through actions rather than words, so what you end up with is a character who took his first step towards apologizing simply by turning around and trying to fix what he fucked up at the end of last season, and possibly would not have been able to express an ACTUAL apology at the time without flash cards and an ASL translator.

I'm also not entirely sure he understood at the time he had something to apologize FOR. "I was just following orders" comes into play here again. It's possible he didn't believe at the time he was responsible for the things he did while following orders, what with the differences between angels and humans and all. Now he's beginning to realize that, hey, if I can defect from the angels, I should have been able to keep myself from letting Sam out of Bobby's basement. Cue growing angst as like it or not, he played a role in the apocalypse as well.

There's also ... well, okay, I'm drawing a blank right now, but has he even TOLD Dean and Sam he was the one who let Sam out yet? It may only just be dawning on him that just because the boys don't know what he did doesn't mean he shouldn't apologize for it.

So, yeah. Basically my stance on it is, just because he's in a human meatsuit doesn't actually make HUMAN, at least not yet, and he didn't just change from now!Castiel to cult-leader!Castiel all at once, and I think that one of the steps we're going to see him taking as he becomes more and more human is acknowledging that he did wrong and saying he's sorry. In actual words, for a change.

Well, until we meet up with God and all rules go kerflooey. ;)
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