Oh, you know what else was fun today?

[apocalypsos]

Explaining the plot of Breaking Dawn to my brother when we stopped at Burger King.

He had o.O face for ten solid minutes.

Comments

[rani23.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA.

[justen.livejournal.com]

You may know this. I was speaking with a co-worker who's all 'The Twilight series is not about an abusive relationship. It's about love and romance' and I remember there being this awesome blog/essay/article on how it totally is, listing all these examples and being quite thorough. I'm pretty sure it was posted on LJ originally. You wouldn't happen to have heard of it or another good one I could send her, would you?

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

I honestly don't understand how they could even possibly make that into a movie short of a total rewrite. At least the studio was hesitant to option it, according to my friend on the inside, in a startling show of humanity. (Of course, with the box office New Moon is making it'll probably burst forth in all its awful glory.)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I told my brother he had to suffer through the first three -- I can pretty much guarantee knowing his preferences that he'll hate them all -- because he simply MUST see the BD adaptation. It's the only one of the four movies I'm the least bit excited to see. (I was trying to explain to him the plot of Eclipse and all I could honestly remember about it was Edward and Jacob having a creepy manipulative dick-measuring contest over ownership of Bella for three hundred pages.)

[calicokat.livejournal.com]

I distinctly remember Jacob more or less threatening to rape Bella by forcing her to kiss him repeatedly until she acknowledges she loves him? :D .... :D That's about all I got, really.

[penmage.livejournal.com]

I can't remember a single thing about the plot of Eclipse. Not a thing. Pretty much all of it is filler leading up to Breaking Dawn, anyway.

Hilariously, I spent most of New Moon sniggering over the fact that Jacob wasn't actually in love with Bella, he was in love with her as-yet-unconcieved child. Yay!

[meriwethersays.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHA. I love casually mentioning "and then he cuts the vampire baby out of her with his teeth." People's reactions always go from "mmhmm, mmhmm" to "OH HOLY GOD WHY?" Same with the explanation of the Jacob/Nessie storyline. And the spawn's name.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

It gets even better reactions when you explain that Twilight's vampires have human teeth, not the pointy fangs most have. =)

[penmage.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! My favorite part is the bit where Jacob imprints on a one-second-old newborn. That part always elicits the biggest REALLY?s, especially when people think it couldn't possibly get any worse after the spine-and-pelvis-breaking pregnancy.

[dragonsinger.livejournal.com]

How exactly did you explain it to him?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

That's the great thing about Breaking Dawn. You never really have to elaborate with snarky commentary when there's phrases like "vampire Caesarean" and "imprinting on a newborn" to work with. ;)

And even my mother looked at me weird when I was explaining where Renesmee (the name, not the baby) came from. Which is hilarious considering my brother went to school with a kid named after the doctor who reversed his dad's vasectomy.

[xturtle.livejournal.com]

I just had to look up Renesmee, to find out where it came from (have not and will not read the books), and oh my god. It's like some publisher had a drunken moment and decided to publish everything I wrote before the age of twelve. Really? REALLY?!

[penmage.livejournal.com]

That is my favorite game ever. I love it when fate gives me the chance to be the one to relay that particular bit of batshittery to a someone who has never heard it before.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Oh, my favorite was my best friend. I told her the plot right before the book came out when she hadn't read the first three, and then a few months later when she started reading it it turned out she completely forgot the two of us having that conversation so we got to have it all over again when she kept coming to me and going, "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"

And she liked the books, but that last one was a bit much even for her.

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

I think I had that face for half a solid hour when I was reading cleolinda's summaries, so I completely emphathize.