Oh, I'm no fun to be around lately anyway.

[apocalypsos]

I've been feeling out of sorts the last few days and at first I figured it was mostly a not-enough-hours-in-the-day sort of thing. Even with the snowstorm on Thursday/Friday, it's been warming up slowly but surely the past few days, so it's not the weather. I'm ahead on my bills, so that's not it. I have a shiny permanent job, so that's not it. And while my writing's been slow but steady, it's been steady, so that's not it.

I'm lonely. That's it.

I feel like the heroine in a quirky contemporary romance novel, except we never get past the first chapter so I just keep repeating the events of the first ten pages where I sit on my couch and eat chocolate and watch Sandra Bullock movies and feel sorry for myself. It's one thing to just be dateless for a while, and it's another thing to sit there and realize just how it's been since you've been on an honest-to-God date. (Let's just say it was before I moved to DC and leave it at that.) Or how long it's been since any guy has shown the least bit of interest in you. At all. Even a little bit.

I love my family and my friends and my friends list, but it's not the same. It's gotten to the point lately where people just mentioning "Oh, me and the hubby ... yadda yadda yadda" or whatever is enough to make my eyes well up. (I've been avoiding Jared's wedding pictures for exactly that reason. I'm happy for them both, but ... yeah.)

Common sense says I need to get out of the house more often and go where the guys are. Personal experience tells me that the guys never give a shit when I am there, so what's the goddamn point?

*sigh*

I'm kinda glad there's no liquor in the house right now, honestly.

Comments

[fragilistikal.livejournal.com]

Online dating! It's working for me! :D

plentyoffish.com is a good free site.

[elusive-life-77.livejournal.com]

At the risk of sounding too new-agey maybe try putting the thought out to the Universe at large (or your deity of choice) that you want to meet someone. Couldn't hurt, right?

I've always believed that we draw to us what we are projecting. (i.e. misery loves company)

Just a thought (although I am not implying you are miserable in any way!).

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Yeah try online dating (match, OkCupid, whatever) or join any groups in the area and see if it gives you anything. At least then you can say you tried.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

I have tried those. The problem is that considering how rural it is where I am, there's a incredibly small selection of guys and they're usually the same selection of guys on every website (I've recognized the same names on a few websites). If I want a bigger dating pool, I'm either going to have to find a job that comps my gas tank or I'm going to have to move.

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Would you try having a long distance relationship? I don't know how well it'd help with the loneliness but I suppose it's worth a try if you need more guys to choose from.

[swingangel.livejournal.com]

I agree with this - I met my guy on lj (of all places) and we dated long distance for 8 months until I moved to his state (but new town for both if us) and we're closing in on 6 years. Being in a rural area would really suck for this, but looking outside the area for guys that really meet what you want gives you a good chance of finding one that'll put in the effort. Hopefully. Or they'll be trolls in another zip code, but hey - worth a try!

[kumquatweekend.livejournal.com]

Damn! Well, that rules out speed dating, doesn't it?

[xzombiexkittenx.livejournal.com]

I haven't dated in three years. The last date I went on was lousy. My relationships haven't been great either. You know what, I really, really wish I had someone but I'm okay by myself. I honestly believe that the better I am alone, and okay with it, and knowing what i want if/when I do get back into dating will make me much happier and my relationships stronger.

The other thing is that you will not meet guys at a bar. Or, at least, it is very unlikely. Interest groups are best. Steampunk gentlemen I find to be a lovely breed. Go hang out in comic book stores if that's something you might like in a partner...

And remember, don't be afraid to ask boys out.

God speed and good luck, sir!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

Word. Exactly.

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, the first, last, and only "real" date I've been on was in 2008.

Yikes.

Have faith

[theliel.livejournal.com]

I was single (and dateless) for well over 6 years. It worked out in the end though.
Long streatches happen, and everyone's downtime will vary, and it totally sucks donkey balls. I've got waaaaaaaaay to many whiteboi's blues songs memorized (and even a good bit of muddy watters' work) from that era.

Maybe we need to do a whipround to get you to a con? or get you to a con where you can be invited to speak on a panel such as "how to be a struggling/starving writer"?

You're not opposed to fanbois are you?
A little hero worship isn't quite the same, but it couldn't hurt, no?

[the-jackalope.livejournal.com]

This. OMG THIS.

[insidian.livejournal.com]

Can I tell you about the year I spent living alone, where the only conversation I had all week would be with the cashier at the grocery store? I mayn't? Oh well.

But I did do the aforementioned online thing, and it seems to have worked. Then again, I live in Chicago and had no shortage of dudes within spitting distance.

May I recommend scheduling a day a week to "social interaction(tm)"?

Let me explain:
Every Wednesday night, my gal friends come over, I make dinner, we *handwavy* watch TV, and we shoot the shit. Unless there is a major disaster (or holiday), everyone knows that Wednesday night there's a specific thing at a specific place, so new friends can be assimilated brought into the fold fairly simply.

But how to parlay this into dude-meeting? Easy:
Game Night at *Name of Place* every *day of the week* at *time*

Pick a local spot, tell folks to bring A Game (weirdo one-off games welcomed), and start doing it every week. Set up a craigslist announcement. Get the local spot management's approval.

Then one day a week, you have A Thing that you do that accomplishes two things:
1 - Nice Person: "Hey! I heard about this game night thing! Can I come? I can bring this Mall Game I got for my 11th birthday!"
2 - You: "Nice to meet you. HEY. I have this game night that I run every week at *place*. You should stop by. We're playing Catan this week."

Bring the guys to YOU. And play some Settlers of Catan. And maybe have a beer. And maybe meet a guy. But definitely have fun.

This idea brought to you by the Chicago Nerd Social Club.

P.S. Pi Day is coming up! Crap! I need to make Pi Pie!

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Try some Meetup.com stuff you're interested in.

[leila82.livejournal.com]

I think I made the exact same entry in my paper journal last night. *mopes*

[kumquatweekend.livejournal.com]

Aw, man. My buddy's in exactly the same position, and it really sucks. The main issues for her are these:

a) Dating for dating's sake really sucks, in her experience
b) Her friends are either all in long-term relationships or waaaaaaay older than her
c) She's way, way too good for any single men I could try and set her up with (not that I'm biased or anything)
d) She's a virgin, which makes any sexual opportunities that may come her way fairly weighted

The steps she is taking are these:

a) Running off on surfing adventures (alone or with friends), and might consider "losing it" to an eligible young surfer dude she'd never have to see again, thereby "breaking the curse"

... yeah, that's about it.

Oh, my darling friend. Someday I will set her up on the speed dating circut, which is how two -- count 'em, TWO!! -- of my now-married friends met their spouses.