What a moron. That goes for all of them.

[apocalypsos]

So I haven't talked about my brother being a moron (or my parents being dumb, for that matter) lately, so here's the new thing.

Last week was his birthday. That meant his license needed to be renewed. He went down there with cash to renew it, but they wanted a cashier's check or a personal check. "Eh, I'll just wait until next week," he told my mom. "I'm not driving anywhere for work due to the car pool, and my friend is driving when we got to New York City this weekend."

My father pointed out to him that with an expired license, good luck trying to get into any bars. Bryan made a priority of getting his license renewed after that.

My parents both bitched about how irresponsible he was not to notice -- he already went five whole months without noticing his car needed an inspection -- but I yelled right back at them for being dumb enough to tell him he wouldn't get into a bar with an expired license. You don't tell him that. You let him to go to New York and have a shitty weekend when he figures out there are other consequences to having an expired license than getting a ticket if you get pulled over, like standing outside a bar in NYC while your friends are inside getting gleefully plastered. And then you laugh at him when he comes home grumbling. You laugh A LOT.

My mom was complaining how she has to do this and that and the other thing for him and I told her, "And you wonder why he doesn't do anything." Because Mom and Dad will take care of the car insurance and remind him to get his car inspected and shit, that's why. Why should he have to think when Mom and Dad will do it for him?

Stop doing it for him, let him flounder for a while, and eventually he'll figure out how to be a fucking adult.

... ahem. So, yeah, that happened.

Comments

[svilleficrecs.livejournal.com]

Unless he looks 17 or younger, or is trying to get into high end places/one specific place, chances are lack of ID won't be a serious barrier to drinking in NYC. Or at least that was my experience when I was underage and living there 10 years ago. The thing is, there are tons and tons of neighborhoods where any one two-block radius has a couple dozen bars, so if you get carded in one, you play "oops, forgot it" dumb, or get a card carrying person to order, and failing that, you go next door.

Not that you're not totally right that he's being flaketastic and should learn a lesson about that, but if he is at all capable of playing cool, no ID shouldn't be a barrier. I mean, I still get carded occasionally and I'm a couple years past thirty (note to self, bring ID when you wear Dorothy braids), but there's no end to the places you can try, and most (if you're not a total douche who looks 17 your younger) will serve you. And even then....

[svilleficrecs.livejournal.com]

That being said, this only works if he has sympathetic friends. If he doesn't give them a heads up, and they want to go to a specific place, and he ruins it for them/doesn't have them going along with the fact that they need to keep their options open, him forcing his friends to accept some less-than-ideal place that serves w/out card checks could be a good lesson.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

See, that's where his problem lies, because both of us look way younger than we are by at least five years. And he's twenty-four. He can easily pass for under-21. So him without a valid license ... he may get served, but just the hassle of getting served would be enough.

[svilleficrecs.livejournal.com]

It'll definitely be more of a challenge if he's youngish looking, but there are plenty of establishments where, unless you look *ridiculously* young (like under 18 young) they won't hassle you, particularly if you go and sit at the table with a group and a carded member gets the drinks.

[azziria.livejournal.com]

This is so familiar...

...and is why I'm trying to raise my own kids to be independent - we have a saying in our house when children have unreasonable expectations: "Do you want to grow up useless???". (To which they inevitably answer "Yes!" but do whatever it was anyway.)

[thexpuzzler.livejournal.com]

This story sounds sort of familiar... :D Is he by any chance the baby of the family? :D

[madripoor-rose.livejournal.com]

Head-desk. Take it from a recovering spoiled only child: helpless is the worst thing you make your kids.

[alicamel.livejournal.com]

My parents are exactly the same with my kid brother. Then my they moan to me about how much they have to do for him and it is mad. Stopping doing stuff for him! He won't die, honest!

[eleigh.livejournal.com]

I'm baffled at a DMV/BMV not taking cash but accepting a personal check.

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

I agree. Who'd try and launder their counterfeit cash through the DMV?

[eh-notsomuch.livejournal.com]

It doesn't stop. My brother's 35 and still lives with my parents. Now I do think he has some degree of Aspergers' Syndrome, but he could still manage to a certain extent.

[lothlorienbaby.livejournal.com]

My parents do the same thing to my two youngest sisters. My mom will bitch and moan about how they are so unmotivated to get jobs or won't follow through on applying to colleges. I'm pretty sure my parents are coming around to understanding that it's because they make far less demands on the two youngest than they did on the two oldest. Seriously, I was doing laundry, washing dishes, and babysitting my sisters by age 10. My 20 year old sister who lives at home does *no* chores whatsoever.

I told them the same thing you told your parents: let them fall flat on their asses and they'll figure it out.