Fine, I just won't talk to any of you.

[apocalypsos]

I'm seriously starting to think that no one in my family is going to take my depression seriously unless I get caught attempting suicide.

And even if that were the case, I'd just get to hear how selfish I am.

Oh, thank fuck that my medical benefits start tomorrow, that's all I've got to say. Now what's the quickest way to get back on anti-depressants ...

EDIT: Also, I really shouldn't have to argue more than once that my parents leaving me hyperventilating on their kitchen floor is actually a BAD thing.

Comments

[shinetheway.livejournal.com]

[hugs you so, so tightly] Oh honey.

If worst comes to worst, St. John's wort is OTC and can hold the worst of the blackness at bay until you can find a doctor and get a prescription. Seriously, I've been on them for almost a year, and it's the reason I got through the winter.

[reneekytokorpi.livejournal.com]

Note that St. John's Wort has to be clear of your system before taking any psych meds from a Doctor. It cancels out most psych meds and can cause worsening of symptoms with others. :/

[coolgrin.livejournal.com]

HUG.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Correction: You shouldn't have to argue at ALL that being left on the floor hyperventilating is a bad thing.

I am so sorry you're having to endure this from people who just will not understand.

[rattyfleef.livejournal.com]

*internet hugs-and-tea*

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight* Honey, I am so sorry you're having to deal with this.

[madripoor-rose.livejournal.com]

I swear to god, it's parents remembering that tantrum we had when we were four and being unable to admit that we're grown up and not kicking up a fuss over nothing now, there's serious shit in our lives.

Anyway, hugs.

Take deep breaths.

[seferin.livejournal.com]

It may not help much, but it's them, not you.

[valoryhope.livejournal.com]

I don't know what your history is with depression, but don't forget that it can take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months before the meds kick in. Which sucks, I know, but the important thing is to remember that a delay is probably inevitable, so don't give up if you don't see immediate results! (The problem with depression is that no positive thought seems real, 'cause even when you know intellectually that things can be better, you can't *believe* it 'cause you can't *feel* it. But you gotta have faith. Maybe not in your family or even in yourself right now--but you've got a lot of experts here on LJ, including moi, so just *accept* this without trying to think about it: When things seem hopeless IT'S A LIE. Things *can* be better. Hell, the essence of Life is change and growth, so it's actually inevitable.

Personally, I think I've tried every antidepressant out there. Most did nothing. One made my hair fall out. One gave me kidney failure. (I'm not naming the drugs, though I will if you really want to know, because these kind of reactions are so idiosyncratic and depend also on interactions with the whole cocktail of meds you're taking.) But more than a decade after I was first diagnosed as manic depressive, a new doctor prescribed *Lithium* (one of the oldest meds out there, which should have mad it an obvious early choice). And it worked. It really worked. (It's also really cheap, so if it works for you, yay, 'cause you might be able to afford it even without insurance benefits.)

One other thought: get your thyroid checked. Poor thyroid function is responsible for many depression-like symptoms. (I'm taking both Synthroid and Lithium, among other things.)

And a couple last thoughts: One, when I took a bottle of sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka, my mother's sole comment was, "You'd just better shape up." Huh??? Shape up!?????! That's it??? I eventually forgave her when it finally dawned on me that she really, truly, just doesn't *get* it (what it means? what to say? how to say it? could there have possibly been a mix up at the hospital, and if so, is it too late to bring her back? *mother is dazed and confused*). And two, getting your stomach pumped in the emergency room is not fun. Not fun at all.

Good luck. I hope you find something that works for you soon. Please keep us up to date with your life. (Which, y'know, kinda means you have to have one to talk about, so that rules out the suicide option. And I'm not too sure about the Internet connection in Heaven.) If you have any questions or comments about my experiences with manic depression, family dynamics that are crazy but not in the wacky sitcom sense, fandom (I love your Supernatural stories and actually just sent you a message about them) or other stuff, feel free to send a note to valoryhope@yahoo.com. (I can't seem to make that appear as a link...???)

[valoryhope.livejournal.com]

Just an apology for the *length* of my post. I really babble on and on. Sorry...

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Gah I'm so sorry they're this horrible. I'd try to set some boundaries and tell them if they're going to make comments like that to you, you won't interact with them for your own mental health. Glad the benefits start tomorrow and hope it helps.

[huggenkiss.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, honey. *hugs tight*

[anonymous_sibyl]

Oh, gods, I'm sorry. It's one thing to know intellectually that people don't understand depression, but it's another to have to experience those closest to you not understanding your depression. As other people have said, you know many of us here--including me--have been through depression and go through it periodically. Ask for a lifeline and we'll throw it out while you wait to get meds and for them to take effect.

[wolfshark]

*hugs you tight*

[xturtle.livejournal.com]

Most primary care docs will prescribe anti-depressants for those with a known history. Tell them your history, and what has worked, and describe your current symptoms. If the current presentation is similar to something that you've successfully controlled before, they don't usually send you to a specialist anymore, largely because you're more likely to see your PCP more often, so they're better able to keep tabs on you.

[hellziggy.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's exactly what I was going to suggest. When my psychiatrist retired I asked my regular doctor if she could just write my prescriptions and we've been doing it that way for at least 5 years now.
I know the waiting list to get in to see psychiatrists can be unbearably long, so your primary care physician will probably be the fastest way to get back on meds.

[kijikun.livejournal.com]

*Hugs you tightly*

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Find a good general practitioner. Most GPs will prescribe meds if you have a history. Also, some of the B vitamins can help keep your brain on an even keel. It's a good stopgap measure. Just *hang on* and know that many of us do understand, even if your family doesn't.

[st-aurafina.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

My parents react to mental health problems in incredibly challenging and childish ways. They're are now the last people I'd talk to about my state of mind or that of any of my siblings. I don't know if they think it's some kind of criticism of their parenting skills or if they're ashamed of having kids with depression and anxiety, but I just don't bother any more - I don't have the resources to deal with my problems and their issues anymore.

Things are much better now that I'm panic-attack buddies with my little sister, we bounce off each other and keep our heads above water with support from the other one. With the hyperventilating and the complete loss of perspective during a panic attack, it really helps me to have someone there to talk me through it, even if it's just on the phone.

I'm so glad you can see a doctor - I'm not currently being treated pharmaceutically, but I had the option when I talked it over with my GP, it was a great first step for me.

[soundingsea.livejournal.com]

Um, ugh to family being so unsupportive. At least you'll be able to get Actual Medical Support now.