Random things
Jul. 25th, 2010 09:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsos-- A Lousy Pun About Death, Or Possibly The Weather
Soooo ... that happened.
-- I got a haircut the other day! Nothing too drastic, of course, because I'm still attempting to grow my hair back into a bob, but I went to Wal-Mart and let someone with some actual training trim and shape it, as opposed to me doing it to myself in the bathroom with a huge pair of scissors. I wish it had turned out longer, but unsurprisingly it had had a lot of split ends.
-- I'm going to see Inception today. Finally. I have the money and the free time to go to the movies for the first time in months. Yay! \o/
-- I bought a new MP3 player! I was going to get an iPod Touch, but the damn things are so expensive for so little relative disk space I got a refurbished 120Gb Zune instead. I can suffer through a lot if I have a TON of options to occupy myself with. I'm currently downloading a bunch of stuff that I have to catch up on like Vampire Diaries and Chuck (which I definitely have to catch up on because I saw who's going to play Mama Bartowski and OH HOLY FUCK WITH HALOS AS COCK RINGS, YOU GUYS), and replacing my audiobook collection that got lost when my laptop crashed. Urgh.
I was going to hold off on getting an MP3 player until my birthday rolled around, but the only "toys" I ever buy are computers and MP3 players and I don't even splurge on those, and after the past week ... well, I needed something to look forward to.
-- I saw who's playing whom in the Avengers movie and, oh, sweet Jesus drizzled in maple syrup and topped in whipped cream, the dolphin noises I made over who's playing the Hulk and Hawkeye. :D
-- I'm constantly overworked!
Er, that probably doesn't deserve the exclamation point.
But ... yeah. This whole situation would probably be working out a lot better if it weren't for the fact that my day job is being a total goober about my scheduling these days. First they offered massive amounts of overtime, and I took them all, of course, because I wanted to make a bit of headway with my bills. Then they put me in training for a new plan, which meant switching to an 8:00-4:30 shift for a week. (The fun part is that I'm working 8:00-1:45 at Wegmans the next two days, because I already asked for Friday and Saturday off and I figured asking them to change my schedule again would just be pushing it, so I'm not going to get another decent night's sleep until Tuesday.) And THEN they instigated another round of shift bidding, which isn't a surprise because they do it every four months or so, but is making me grate my teeth because I don't want to take the chance I'll lose the shift I currently have and have to tell Wegmans to change my available hours.
I don't mind working two jobs. I don't. I certainly appreciate the money, that's for sure. But I am so fucking stressed lately, and I haven't been writing or editing anything, and I haven't had the free time, energy or mental fortitude to do much more than play Mahjong Solitaire on the internet. It's doing absolutely nothing for my mental health, let me tell you, to the point where I've barely even looked at Facebook lately because every time I do I see things like my high school crush announcing he and his wife are having a baby or my friends all going out to the bar on a night I'm scheduled to work and barely keep myself from crying.
And part of what makes me feel like absolute shit about the whole thing is that apart from the completely responsible reasoning that I need the money to pay off my bills, part of the reason I got spurred into finding a second job or else was some comment on the anonymeme that made me feel even more guilty than I already did about ever reaching the point where I had to put up Paypal buttons. Like, fuck, seriously? That's what I'm going to let drive me to a point where I'm slowly driving myself insane out of pure exhaustion? The stupid anonymeme?
There's reasons I keep telling myself I need to start taking St John's wort again, up until I remind myself that the reason I stopped is because I need somebody to come to my house and remind me to take them because I get swept up in things and forget to take them and then what's the fucking point?
I don't know. The last week or so I've only barely kept myself from telling both workplaces to take these jobs and shove them into an uncomfortable place like the back seat of a Volkswagen. That ... can't really be a good sign with me.
392 / 100000
Soooo ... that happened.
-- I got a haircut the other day! Nothing too drastic, of course, because I'm still attempting to grow my hair back into a bob, but I went to Wal-Mart and let someone with some actual training trim and shape it, as opposed to me doing it to myself in the bathroom with a huge pair of scissors. I wish it had turned out longer, but unsurprisingly it had had a lot of split ends.
-- I'm going to see Inception today. Finally. I have the money and the free time to go to the movies for the first time in months. Yay! \o/
-- I bought a new MP3 player! I was going to get an iPod Touch, but the damn things are so expensive for so little relative disk space I got a refurbished 120Gb Zune instead. I can suffer through a lot if I have a TON of options to occupy myself with. I'm currently downloading a bunch of stuff that I have to catch up on like Vampire Diaries and Chuck (which I definitely have to catch up on because I saw who's going to play Mama Bartowski and OH HOLY FUCK WITH HALOS AS COCK RINGS, YOU GUYS), and replacing my audiobook collection that got lost when my laptop crashed. Urgh.
I was going to hold off on getting an MP3 player until my birthday rolled around, but the only "toys" I ever buy are computers and MP3 players and I don't even splurge on those, and after the past week ... well, I needed something to look forward to.
-- I saw who's playing whom in the Avengers movie and, oh, sweet Jesus drizzled in maple syrup and topped in whipped cream, the dolphin noises I made over who's playing the Hulk and Hawkeye. :D
-- I'm constantly overworked!
Er, that probably doesn't deserve the exclamation point.
But ... yeah. This whole situation would probably be working out a lot better if it weren't for the fact that my day job is being a total goober about my scheduling these days. First they offered massive amounts of overtime, and I took them all, of course, because I wanted to make a bit of headway with my bills. Then they put me in training for a new plan, which meant switching to an 8:00-4:30 shift for a week. (The fun part is that I'm working 8:00-1:45 at Wegmans the next two days, because I already asked for Friday and Saturday off and I figured asking them to change my schedule again would just be pushing it, so I'm not going to get another decent night's sleep until Tuesday.) And THEN they instigated another round of shift bidding, which isn't a surprise because they do it every four months or so, but is making me grate my teeth because I don't want to take the chance I'll lose the shift I currently have and have to tell Wegmans to change my available hours.
I don't mind working two jobs. I don't. I certainly appreciate the money, that's for sure. But I am so fucking stressed lately, and I haven't been writing or editing anything, and I haven't had the free time, energy or mental fortitude to do much more than play Mahjong Solitaire on the internet. It's doing absolutely nothing for my mental health, let me tell you, to the point where I've barely even looked at Facebook lately because every time I do I see things like my high school crush announcing he and his wife are having a baby or my friends all going out to the bar on a night I'm scheduled to work and barely keep myself from crying.
And part of what makes me feel like absolute shit about the whole thing is that apart from the completely responsible reasoning that I need the money to pay off my bills, part of the reason I got spurred into finding a second job or else was some comment on the anonymeme that made me feel even more guilty than I already did about ever reaching the point where I had to put up Paypal buttons. Like, fuck, seriously? That's what I'm going to let drive me to a point where I'm slowly driving myself insane out of pure exhaustion? The stupid anonymeme?
There's reasons I keep telling myself I need to start taking St John's wort again, up until I remind myself that the reason I stopped is because I need somebody to come to my house and remind me to take them because I get swept up in things and forget to take them and then what's the fucking point?
I don't know. The last week or so I've only barely kept myself from telling both workplaces to take these jobs and shove them into an uncomfortable place like the back seat of a Volkswagen. That ... can't really be a good sign with me.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 04:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 04:32 pm (UTC)Now if only that Fillion-as-Giant-Man rumor turns out to be true...
no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 07:22 pm (UTC)Fucking fandom classism.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-25 10:21 pm (UTC)good luck.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 04:03 pm (UTC)So, yeah. There's no way in hell you should be letting anything said on any anonymeme control your RL behavior. Working two jobs at once to catch up on a long dry spell and/or build up a cushion and/or build up a fund for a largeish purchase or major trip is one thing -- short-term, for a specific purpose, with an end date in mind. Long-term is not a good plan.