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apocalypsosHow To Ride The DC Metro, By Some Tea Partier On The Internet, For Anybody Going To Glenn Beck's Stupid Rally*:
If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don't know where you are, so you should not explore them.
I think my favorite part is "Do not use the Green Line or the Yellow Line." In other words, "Shortcuts? HA! Real Americans take the looooong way around!"
Although, as the guy who posted this on HuffPo pointed out, just stay on the correct side of the damn escalators and you'll do fine. (Damn, that reminds me, I've got to remember to explain the escalator thing to my brother before we go next weekend ...)
* Not its actual title. **
** Its actual title is Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then. Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod.
If you are on the subway stay on the Red line between Union Station and Shady Grove, Maryland. If you are on the Blue or Orange line do not go past Eastern Market (Capitol Hill) toward the Potomac Avenue stop and beyond; stay in NW DC and points in Virginia. Do not use the Green line or the Yellow line. These rules are even more important at night. There is of course nothing wrong with many other areas; but you don't know where you are, so you should not explore them.
I think my favorite part is "Do not use the Green Line or the Yellow Line." In other words, "Shortcuts? HA! Real Americans take the looooong way around!"
Although, as the guy who posted this on HuffPo pointed out, just stay on the correct side of the damn escalators and you'll do fine. (Damn, that reminds me, I've got to remember to explain the escalator thing to my brother before we go next weekend ...)
* Not its actual title. **
** Its actual title is Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then. Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod.
