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apocalypsosSo Jezebel posted a picture of a manifesto a Borders employee or employees posted that basically called people out for their more annoying habits. The featured comment thread on Jezebel came courtesy of a visual designer who made her own list of pet peeve responses based on things she'd actually been asked as an artist as though her art were a hobby rather than something she was highly educated in and well-practiced with and therefore had earned the right to demand a fair price for a piece and not, like, fifteen bucks to paint a woodland scene on a saw for someone's grandpa. You get the idea.
I started writing one for the comments based on my experiences as a writer, and it wouldn't post. So forget it, I'll just post it here:
1. No, I do not want to hear about how you always wanted to write a book, and I sure as hell don't want to hear that great story idea you have that I can write if I want and then we can share the credit!
2. No, co-worker at my day job, I don't want to "write a book about this place!" This is for several reasons, the first of which is that we both stand around talking about how frustrating and boring our workplace is and it is in not way whatsoever entertaining, and the second of which is because I write paranormal and urban fantasy fiction. So unless one of us develops magic powers, I'll pass.
2a. In a related vein, no, I don't want to write your life story. Unless you're secretly a superhero or a witch. Otherwise, NO.
3. No, sending my manuscript to an agent does not mean that it's going to be stolen away in the night. Please stop acting as though writers regularly get robbed of their manuscripts by agencies, publishing houses, and everybody else who crosses our path.
4. No, my writing will probably not make me rich and famous. My writing will make me HAPPY. That's the part I like. Stop talking about me getting published as though my first royalty check would be five bajillion dollars.
5. Please don't tell me that you hope I'm the next Stephenie Meyer. I will vomit. Hopefully on you.
6. Yes, I have heard the story about how J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while she was on the dole and living in a van down by the river or whatever, so I should totally be able to ... what, exactly? Why keep telling me that story? Are you trying to sound like you know some inside publishing info no one else does, or do you think I should quit my job and cross my fingers that I write the Great American Novel sometime after my inevitable mental breakdown?
7. Yes, I electronically self-published my first book. That is not your cue at parties to say, "Oh," in the same tone you'd normally say, "Aw," and wander off for more Smirnoff. Welcome to the 21st century.
I started writing one for the comments based on my experiences as a writer, and it wouldn't post. So forget it, I'll just post it here:
1. No, I do not want to hear about how you always wanted to write a book, and I sure as hell don't want to hear that great story idea you have that I can write if I want and then we can share the credit!
2. No, co-worker at my day job, I don't want to "write a book about this place!" This is for several reasons, the first of which is that we both stand around talking about how frustrating and boring our workplace is and it is in not way whatsoever entertaining, and the second of which is because I write paranormal and urban fantasy fiction. So unless one of us develops magic powers, I'll pass.
2a. In a related vein, no, I don't want to write your life story. Unless you're secretly a superhero or a witch. Otherwise, NO.
3. No, sending my manuscript to an agent does not mean that it's going to be stolen away in the night. Please stop acting as though writers regularly get robbed of their manuscripts by agencies, publishing houses, and everybody else who crosses our path.
4. No, my writing will probably not make me rich and famous. My writing will make me HAPPY. That's the part I like. Stop talking about me getting published as though my first royalty check would be five bajillion dollars.
5. Please don't tell me that you hope I'm the next Stephenie Meyer. I will vomit. Hopefully on you.
6. Yes, I have heard the story about how J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while she was on the dole and living in a van down by the river or whatever, so I should totally be able to ... what, exactly? Why keep telling me that story? Are you trying to sound like you know some inside publishing info no one else does, or do you think I should quit my job and cross my fingers that I write the Great American Novel sometime after my inevitable mental breakdown?
7. Yes, I electronically self-published my first book. That is not your cue at parties to say, "Oh," in the same tone you'd normally say, "Aw," and wander off for more Smirnoff. Welcome to the 21st century.
