I just had a terrible thought.

[apocalypsos]

So I went and read the spoiler for that twist in "Breaking Dawn", and then I spent a few minutes being pissed because that twist made ME pissed on behalf of people who actually LIKE "Twilight", and then I thought about how am I going to explain this to my brother, who hates the "Twilight" movies but loves being snarky about them:

Me: So basically the battle commences, and then Carlisle gets his head ripped off, and Seth dies --
Bryan: Who's Seth?
Me: The enormous puppy. I can't explain it in movie terms. I barely watched the first one. Anyway, then Jasper dies --
Bryan: Who's Jasper?
Me: Uh, kinda creepy one? Walks around with Alice, spent the first movie looking like he just walked into an unwanted surprise party?
Bryan: ...
Me: Never mind, whatever. The point is that it plays out for God knows how long, but then it all ends and Alice is standing there and it was all a fucking vision and everybody wasn't violently killed, and now they STILL have to go to the damn battle.
Bryan: So?
Me: Okay, let me put this in terms both of us would understand and give a damn about. Let's pretend that in the Avengers movie when Coulson died, and then Fury gave them the "Win one for the Gipper" speech about Coulson, so they went to the battle, and right after Iron Man gets knocked out and they're all standing around hoping he's not dead, Clint jolts awake on the helecarrier and it was all a horrible nightmare and everybody's alive. Including Coulson.
Bryan: But wouldn't that be happy?
Me: ...
Bryan: ...
Me: ... excuse me, I have to have a good cry.
Bryan: ... I might need to join you.

Comments

[calystarose]

hahaha awwww