Yes! Done!

[apocalypsos]

My present to myself is a Skyy Sport. Every present to myself should be alcohol and/or porn. I'd get so much more done. (Of course, who wouldn't?)

Ahem.

Title: 'Cause Islands Are a Girl's Best Friend
Author: Troll Princess
Fandom: Pirates/X-Men
Pairing: Jubilee/Elizabeth Swann, written for Round Six of The Pairing List That Ate Fandom
Parts:
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Summary: Let's just say that Elizabeth had ended up on that island with someone else. And then let's say there was femslash.
Disclaimer: "Dear trollprincess's teacher, please excuse her from gym class, as she has borrowed my characters, mythology and universe for her own storytelling purposes. And also, because today is volleyball day and she's universally acknowledged to be absolute crap at it. Love and other indoor sports, the real owners of said characters."

'Cause Islands Are A Girl's Best Friend

Part Five

"Renting gay with an option to buy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Jubilee gave Bobby a dirty look and took another bite out of her last (thankfully only slightly melted) Milky Way. "Shut up. I'm missin' stuff," she muttered with her mouth full, taking in the goings-on around them with more curiosity than she'd ever showed in history class.

Cajoling Bobby into coming off the island with her had been easier than she'd expected, especially considering that the portal seemed to open only in that precise spot in the air just above the beach. All it had taken was for Jubilee to point out three basic truths -- the island didn't have an X-Box, she currently had the only bag of M&Ms in existence, and they could leave behind a note for the gang and duct-tape it to one of the palm trees so the guys would know where they were. She'd immediately been able to remove a plastic sandwich baggie, a notepad, a pen, and a roll of duct tape from her coat, which had confused the hell out of Bobby. First, he'd asked her if she wasn't holding out on him with one of those Bugs Bunny black holes somewhere in the depths of her coat, which had resulted in her punching him in the arm, and then he'd asked her if she'd ever seen "Parker Lewis Can't Lose," which was when she'd put her hand on the side of his head and pushed as hard as possible.

Elizabeth had watched the whole scene while trying desperately not to laugh in the middle of her righteous indignation.

So now, here they were, on a ship in the middle of the Caribbean, working on the last of Jubilee's candy supply and watching Elizabeth attempt to persuade the others to go storming off to the rescue.

"Then we condemn him to death," Elizabeth yelled as she stalked past the pair, trailing after her father.

Governor Swann and Commodore Norrington, whom Jubilee had quickly decided would be absolutely adorable if you shucked him of the wig and stockings and other female impersonation accessories, gave Elizabeth a pitying look before her father said, "The boy's fate is regrettable, but so was his decision to engage in piracy."

"To rescue me," she said, barely holding back tears. "To prevent anything from happening to me."

Leaning over to Jubilee, Bobby swallowed a couple of M&Ms and asked, "Is she always like this?"

"Nah, she's usually a lot more melodramatic and obsessed with the blacksmith's hero tendencies."

Bobby cocked an eyebrow. "You mean, there's a higher setting than this?"

Flashing Bobby a look that made him roll his eyes and double-check how many M&Ms he had left with almost clinical fascination, Jubilee shot to her feet, weaseled her way in between the men and Elizabeth, and gave Norrington her best I've-never-caused-trouble-ever-ever-ever smile. "Uh, you know," she began, eliciting an eye roll from Elizabeth, "it's not like I know anything about boats or anything, aside from not to get on the same boat Leonardo DiCaprio's taking --"

"Or Gilligan," Bobby piped up.

"-- but that ship that dropped her off was tilted kinda funny. And hey, you said it was in a battle, and the last time I was on a pirate ship during a battle --"

"It was in space and Scott's dad found you afterwards doing backflips in one of the rooms where the gravity stabilizers broke."

Jubilee glared at Bobby, her cheeks going red. "Keep it up and the M&M's sleep with the fishes."

Bobby tightened his grip on the bag of M&M's. She could have sworn she heard him whimper.

Ignoring her teammate before she throttled him, Jubilee sidled up to Norrington and beamed up at him. "All I'm saying is, you could probably catch up, 'cause, you know, they're full of holes and that's bad when you're trying to keep the ocean in the ocean and out of the ship. I think." Governor Swann and the commodore exchanged a condescending look over her head, but being just over five feet tall meant that most looks went right over her head and she was used to it by now. Frowning, she said, "Look, think about it. Isn't this supposedly, like, the Gucci of pirate ships? You could wave it around in front of all the other commodores on the playground and impress the hell out of them."

Bobby made a choking noise, and Jubilee groaned and looked back and forth between Elizabeth and Bobby. "All right, which of you two bozos brought the gutter with you?"

The commodore forced a smile. "I serve others, Miss Lee, not just myself."

He started to walk away, and Jubilee turned around to face an irritated Elizabeth. Jubilee held up her arms in surrender. "Hey, I tried."

Walking around her to follow Norrington -- and ignoring the snooty face she knew Jubilee was making behind her back -- Elizabeth called out, "Commodore, I beg you, please do this." She stopped at the foot of the steps he'd reached the top of, made a silent decision, and added, "For me. As a wedding gift."

For a split second, there was a stunned silence, and then ...

"Wedding?!" Jubilee yelped.

Everyone's gaze flew to Jubilee, who'd shot back to her feet and was starting to go a strange greenish color. Murtogg and Mulroy, who were standing not far away, took one look at the strange girl turning an all-too-familiar color and took a discreet step away from her.

Suddenly noticing the way everyone was staring at her, Jubilee barked out a laugh as she walked over to Elizabeth and slung an arm around her shoulders. "Ha! Isn't she a card?" She gave Elizabeth a friendly shake, and Elizabeth glared at her. Jubilee didn't pay attention, giving Norrington another winning smile as she punched Elizabeth playfully in the arm. "Loonier than a fruitcake, this one. Classic case of, uh ... Britneyinvegasitis. Proposes marriage to anything that sits still long enough. Heck, she proposed to me once or twice on that island ..."

"Why, I never --"

Jubilee clapped a hand over Elizabeth's mouth, dragging the other girl towards the first door she could see as she gifted Governor Swann with a forced grin. "And you'll be happy to know that those palm trees will be virginal on their wedding day. Although I don't think they'll be asking for your permission, and I'm pretty sure it's illegal to marry an orchard of palm trees in this time."

Before anyone, especially Elizabeth, could protest, Jubilee let go of the other girl, yanked open the door to what she guessed was either Norrington or the governor's quarters, and shoved Elizabeth inside. Then, ducking inside after her, Jubilee called out, "Let's see how long it takes me to talk this cuddly little nutjob into a job as a bridesmaid. Don't anyone propose while we're gone!"

Jubilee slammed the door shut behind them and immediately whirled on Elizabeth. "Are you out of your ever-lovin' mind?"

Elizabeth's lips pursed as she crossed her arms. "I could ask you the same question."

"And I would answer yes, but I'm guessing you're going to argue me on this one."

"If we don't turn this ship around and go to save Will, then it'll be all my fault, and I refuse to stand for it."

Jubilee beamed and raised a fist in triumph. "See? Irrational romantic obsession. That's what I want to hear from you. Not, 'You have a large ocean-going vessel and plenty of seamen, so let's hook up.'" Elizabeth frowned as Jubilee smacked her forehead and groaned, then leaned forward and asked in a confidential tone of voice, "Do you even know what a gutter is?"

Trying to keep the conversation on track, Elizabeth said, "I will do whatever it takes to keep Will alive, and if that means marrying the commodore ... well, there are worse options. Commodore Norrington is kind and brave and decent --"

"Are you even going to tell him about the whole undead pirates thing? That might be important, you know, knowing the guys they're going up against can't die."

Elizabeth's lips parted, and flickers of shame and guilt reflected in her eyes. "I hadn't thought --"

"Yeah, well, try it sometime," Jubilee snapped. "You know, you're really pretty, but sometimes I get the impression your brain cells spend most of their time playing solitaire until their itty bitty eyes bleed."

"Are you going to keep insulting me until I come around to your way of thinking, or does it just feel that way?"

Jubilee grabbed onto Elizabeth's shoulders, only barely restraining the urge to shake some sense into her, and spoke slowly and as direct as possible. God forbid the British girl get distracted and go off on some romantic crusade in the middle of her sentence. "You don't like this commodore guy. I mean, you like him, but you don't like him, like him. I've only known you a day and half and I can tell that much. You don't want to marry him, you want to marry the dopey blacksmith. Someday, some very nice girl with much better taste in guys is going to make the commodore very happy, so let her."

Elizabeth's eyes narrowed. "Why do you even care? You're only along for the ride. And when your precious portal opens once again, you'll be gone."

"Because I'm hopeless, that's why," Jubilee sighed, noting that Elizabeth had almost sounded regretful when she'd asked that. "You're really going to nail this guy just because he can be your own personal superhero just this once?"

After a moment's consideration, Elizabeth said quietly, "Yes, I suppose I am going to 'nail' him just for that."

Jubilee seemed to nod, and she said, "Hell, if that's what you're looking for --"

And with that, she grabbed onto Elizabeth and dragged her forward, kissing her before she could protest. Her fingers slipped into Elizabeth's flowing hair as her tongue darted past Elizabeth's lips and her free hand rested low on Elizabeth's hip.

Stunned, Elizabeth stumbled back a step, her rear bumping into the small table behind them before she sat down with a muffled squeak. All the while, Jubilee's lips never left her, the other girl's tongue and fingertips coaxing low moans and shudders from Elizabeth's body. After a never-ending kiss that left Elizabeth gasping, Jubilee stepped away almost as quickly as she'd descended, eliciting a mournful sound Elizabeth tried in vain to keep from uttering.

Jubilee took in Elizabeth's flushed cheeks and parted lips and grinned triumphantly. "Wow," she said, "I am really better at this than I thought."

Elizabeth nodded, then caught herself and flushed a bright crimson.

"See?" Giving up all pretense, Jubilee reached out and brushed a lock of hair from Elizabeth's face. "If you wanted to make out with a superhero, all you had to do was ask."

She walked over to the door, humming happily and with a definite swagger as she opened the door and went out on deck.

A second later, Jubilee yanked open the door and popped her head back into the room, and Elizabeth quickly let her hand fall from her lips before Jubilee could see her touching her tingling mouth. "But no kissing Drake," Jubilee said. "He's got cooties. Great big frozen boy cooties. Mmm-hmm."

And with that, she went back out on deck, closing the door behind her and leaving Elizabeth to her confused feelings ...

... right before Jubilee walked right up to a concerned Norrington with a determined look on her face and stated, "I've got a proposition for you."

Comments

[elecktrik.livejournal.com]

ah! so good! i wasn't going to read this at first cuz i don't really know much about x-men, but i started reading when you posted the second part.

NOW I WANT MORE.

[fairestcat]

"But no kissing Drake," Jubilee said. "He's got cooties. Great big frozen boy cooties. Mmm-hmm."


*snerk*

I think I love you.

Another fabulous installment.

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

:D!!!!!!!

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

..... God, it's so wrong that I'm all hot and bothered now. Damn you.

Off to a bar mitzvah.. ugh.

[mimesere.livejournal.com]

"Are you even going to tell him about the whole undead pirates thing? That might be important, you know, knowing the guys they're going up against can't die."

Elizabeth's lips parted, and flickers of shame and guilt reflected in her eyes. "I hadn't thought --"

"Yeah, well, try it sometime," Jubilee snapped. "You know, you're really pretty, but sometimes I get the impression your brain cells spend most of their time playing solitaire until their itty bitty eyes bleed."

*giggling and giggling* That was immensely satisfying.

I do love your Jubilee in her infinite...Jubilee-ness.

Ah, dude. I wish I had more than that to say, but I don't. Yay girls! Yay Jubilee! Yay Bobby! That's it. General yay!

[mayatawi.livejournal.com]

Alcohol and porn make you more productive? You must be doing it wrong. Or maybe I am, but I'm fairly certain one of us is incorrect.

[illmantrim.livejournal.com]

sends you more porn and alcohol

[velocityboy.livejournal.com]

this was damned good.

Bravo!

[paradoxymoron.livejournal.com]

*tempts her with booze and porn. and boozeporn. wait. no. cuz sex with booze is just messy and unfullfilling and the bottle doesn't talk back and there's nothing like an orgy with Jack, Jim, Johnny, Blackie, Red, and the Cap'n to make you feel like a dirty bitch*


*and oh dear god i'm not mentioning the turkey or the cap'n's parrot*

[runcible.livejournal.com]

::Squees:: This just gets better and better! Continue! :D :D :D

[wal-lace.livejournal.com]

... This is turning into an epic, isn't it?

You'd better have an ending in sight. Because for this to tail off and be left unfinished would be a crime.

[opportunemoment.livejournal.com]

Oooo. Moremoremore. And Jubes as Cap'n Jack substitute! Hehehehe.