You say cicada, I say, "Aw, look at the widdle disgusting woobie!"

[apocalypsos]

Here's a guaranteed way to make the people at the bus stop think you're criminally insane. Stand around and talk to your mother on your cell phone, and whenever a cicada lands at your feet, casually pick it up and coo cutely at it before flinging it up in the air. I'm amazed people didn't resort to teleporting to get away from me faster.

You'd think I was going to throw them into people's faces or something. Well, where's the fun in that? I mean, aside from the shrieking and arm-flailing and the resulting insults of my ancestors. Besides, these suckers are huge. It'd be infinitely easier for me to simply hop on the back of one and fly off to lead my red-eyed winged minions in an assault on the White House.

Okay, so maybe that's a bit extreme, but that picking up the cicadas and tossing them in the air to make them fly away? I was totally doing that at the bus stop today. I didn't know being a tomboy as a kid would ever come in handy, but it turns out a wiggling cicada dropped down someone's T-shirt is one of the better blackmails on the planet. I can't believe picking up what basically looks like a bunch of hungover mutant grasshoppers freaks so many people out. They're not gross or anything, and quite frankly, they're incredibly stupid. It's entirely possible I could grab a bunch and juggle them and the stupid bastards would wander around in a daze afterwards and yelp in insect-ese, "Yay! I want to go on the ride again, Mommy!"

And just when you thought you couldn't be even more grossed out by the cicadas, Bossman apparently went out on our back loading dock this morning and found a pile of them about two feet high writhing and mating in this huge icky sexfest. So, being the gentleman that he is, he picked up a great big pallet and squished them. That's so rude. How would you like it if you were in the middle of a really good orgy and someone dropped a truck on your head?

In other news, I called my mother today to suggest Wesley for the new kitten's name and she had a new suggestion so utterly stupid I blocked it from my memory. The cicadas have taken over my mother's brain! Help me, damn it!

Comments

[thornsilver]

I am so glad you are on friends list. But don't live in my neighborhood.

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

*drool* I used to have that exact icon as my desktop background...


Also, trollprincess, cicadas are icky!! but I wouldn't have smushed them.

.. *shudder* ick...

[coyotegoth.livejournal.com]

Personally- and I may well be in the minority in this, and I'm ready for that- I think "cicada" would be a lovely name for the kitten.

[ampersand.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a wonderful idea! Except of course that that brings up the concept of flinging kittens into the air to make them fly away.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Yanno, it's canon in the Marvel Universe that there are mutant cats. Well, at least one.

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a tiny little kitty!"

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

I second the notion of naming the kitten Wesley.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

My case for arguing for Wesley was that she has this whole theme of cats with preppy British names (Simon, Niles, Owen, etc.), and it's a cute name, and it's in honor of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce and his tragic passing. She had no idea what the hell I was talking about with that last one, but I figured I'd stick that in there for the record.

I figure anything has to be better than Chubby or Noodles. (Noodles?! I'm thinking of disowning her if she does that). I also got behind my cousin's suggestions, which were Avery, Ruben, and Mason. It's like my mom said, though -- she has to see the kitten first.

That little bastard better look like a Wesley. *growls*

[laurelin-kit.livejournal.com]

Tell her he was Head Boy! Hee. It would be wonderfully fitting to have a kitten!Wes. I almost renamed one of my foster kitties Wesley after Wednesday, but I figured it would confuse him. *huggles the living!Wes and makes dead!Wes as comfortable as possible in heaven WITH FRED, DAMMIT*

NOODLES?! Yeesh. That's far worse than "GM" for "Got Milk." Yes. I can't believe it either. >.

[wer-bin-ich.livejournal.com]

Gah! Wesley dies???????

(it sucks to live in germany right now)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Um ... should I be sorry for spoiling that for you? I don't mind being spoiled, but I feel really bad when I spoil other people and they don't want to know. *feels guilty*

[wer-bin-ich.livejournal.com]

It's ok. I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I've been so careful with my friends list since it aired. Ah well. Do you know anywhere that I could read a good summary of the episode?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Have you checked Television Without Pity yet? The summary's pretty precise, although it is fairly snarky. (But let's face it ... the last few seasons have deserved the snark. :))

[wer-bin-ich.livejournal.com]

I'm checking it out right now. Thanks so much!

[catystorm.livejournal.com]

Tennis racquets + cicadas = hours of fun.

[sinsense.livejournal.com]

I'm weird, and I was a tomboy as a child, but. I kind of think cicadas are cute. In that buggy, evil, alien-sent-to-eat-your-braiiiiins kind of way. The way they're currently infesting our area a la The Birds is kind of gross, but. Yeah. Cute.

[altoidsaddict.livejournal.com]

I found that profound and metaquotable (http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/1123565.html). How is it there is no trollprincess Prayer of Jabez anyway? Or Everything I Needed to Know I Learned from Libidinous Cicadas?

[topaz08.livejournal.com]

Can you post a picture of the little critters? We aren't getting them. Apparently, they are smart enough to stay away from west MI.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

You haven't seen any pictures of cicadas? Count yourself lucky.

P.S. To trollp. The unofficial names for our guinea pigs are Xander and Willow. Xander had knocked up Willow before we even got them. Now we need to keep them in seperate cages because it's not healthy for Willow and Xander to have so much sex late in the trimester.

P.S. I am very sick

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Try the new photos here. They're basically just twice-as-big grasshoppers with wings and red eyes.

[hiddenw.livejournal.com]

That's so rude. How would you like it if you were in the middle of a really good orgy and someone dropped a truck on your head?
I wouldn't like it at all!


Pour vous. http://cicadamania.com/

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

I usually go "Oh God, childhood memories! The memories!" And fall to the ground, screaming and clawing at my head.

You know, the normal.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Was there any rational reason for bossman to smoosh the cicadas? Because your story about him has given me the wiggins. Too many real and fictional nutballs start out by torturing bugs.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

His reasoning was that there was a big gross pile of bugs having sex on our back oading dock. Then again, our back loading dock isn't all that big, and all it would take to get them off it would have been to tip the pallet sideways and use it to push them off.

But this is the same guy who once gave me a ride home from work and used the N-word in casual conversation. Urgh.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Ok, am now officially creeped out.

[sekari.livejournal.com]

that is somewhat disturbing

[dandelion-whine.livejournal.com]

Your journal is the kind of funny that makes me laugh so hard my brain hurts.

*laughs while holding head with both hands*

I need more of that in my life. Mind if I "friend" you?

*slides cookie over by way of a bribe*