(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

So I'm at work waiting to go home and reading the romance novel I picked up today (Nerd in Shining Armor, which was actually kinda cute if you have a thing for geeks) and one of the dock workers walking through the office stopped and said, "That book is really good."

I thought he was goofing on me, but no, he was being serious. He proceeded to spout off the plot exactly, then when I blurted out, "You read romance novels?!", he said somberly, "I read everything." *wails* Damn you! Why can't you be a millionaire who looks like Johnny Depp instead of a dock worker who looks like a less attractive Spike Lee?

So, yeah, I found a straight man who reads romance novels the same day Bill O'Reilly defended Kerry's war record on the Factor. I keep waiting for it to rain frogs and underpants or for all of the planet's water to turn to Jello, but no go so far.

Also, I love Don & Mike, I do. You know that story from a while back about the sex bracelets? Well, today the guys were talking about them and what the colors meant, and they proposed that we should combine the terror alerts with the sex bracelet meanings. For example, red means everyone gets a lap dance, orange means everybody gets a kiss, yellow means everybody gets a hug, blue means all the boys get blow jobs, and green means all the chicks get blows jobs.

You heard that, folks. Less manipulative fear, more blow jobs!

Hmm. I wonder if I could get Kerry and Edwards to use that as a campaign slogan.

EDIT: Yup. Still like "Goodbye Earl", and still know all of the words. I wonder if it's still the only country song my brother's ever liked.

Comments

[arden-ranger.livejournal.com]

When are you running for dictator? 'Cause I can get behind that idea.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

One does not run for dictator. One walks up behind the president and whacks him upside the head until he starts drooling more than usual or it stops being fun, whichever comes first, then one declares themself dictator.

[arden-ranger.livejournal.com]

Well, you could take the Bush approach and get elected first then start being dictitorial.

Or we could do it your way. Is Tuesday good for you for whacking El Presidente until your arms are tired, or shall your legion of minions do that for you?

[akacat]

One walks up behind the president and whacks him upside the head until he starts drooling more than usual or it stops being fun

I just want to know why no one's done this yet.

Or maybe they have, and it just has no effect. Eek.