(no subject)

[apocalypsos]

So I'm at work waiting to go home and reading the romance novel I picked up today (Nerd in Shining Armor, which was actually kinda cute if you have a thing for geeks) and one of the dock workers walking through the office stopped and said, "That book is really good."

I thought he was goofing on me, but no, he was being serious. He proceeded to spout off the plot exactly, then when I blurted out, "You read romance novels?!", he said somberly, "I read everything." *wails* Damn you! Why can't you be a millionaire who looks like Johnny Depp instead of a dock worker who looks like a less attractive Spike Lee?

So, yeah, I found a straight man who reads romance novels the same day Bill O'Reilly defended Kerry's war record on the Factor. I keep waiting for it to rain frogs and underpants or for all of the planet's water to turn to Jello, but no go so far.

Also, I love Don & Mike, I do. You know that story from a while back about the sex bracelets? Well, today the guys were talking about them and what the colors meant, and they proposed that we should combine the terror alerts with the sex bracelet meanings. For example, red means everyone gets a lap dance, orange means everybody gets a kiss, yellow means everybody gets a hug, blue means all the boys get blow jobs, and green means all the chicks get blows jobs.

You heard that, folks. Less manipulative fear, more blow jobs!

Hmm. I wonder if I could get Kerry and Edwards to use that as a campaign slogan.

EDIT: Yup. Still like "Goodbye Earl", and still know all of the words. I wonder if it's still the only country song my brother's ever liked.

Comments

[malhablada.livejournal.com]

I love you.

That is all.

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

I love romance novels.. is it in the libraries yet?

ANd I had truly never heard of jelly bracelets being used for that... wow.. weird.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Once I read an ebook with that title, and they were marooned on an island after a plane crash and this dude was trying to kill them. Is it that one?

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

That one should be, since it's been out for a while. The author lays on the redneck stereotyping a wee bit thick with the heroine (who grew up in the backwoods of Tennesse) and I thought their first sex scene was a little off, but the rest of it was cute, and the nerd himself was damn adorable.

She's got a new one out, also about a nerd who gets the girl, which is something I can get behind. Cute, sweet nerds ... *happy sighs*

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yup, that was the one. I liked it well enough (although I did have a few problems with it, but nothing I couldn't get over), so I'll probably end up getting the new one of hers that's out.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's it. They made a huge deal out of her being a redneck.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. To the point where I was like, "Man, ease up. She's from Tennesse. I get it." Then again, I've seen worse stereotyping in books, which is actually pretty sad.

[kkglinka.livejournal.com]

Huh. I got about halfway through that one. It is pretty well written, but I was in a pretty gay mood at the time, so it just wasn't working for me.

[fireborn.livejournal.com]

But the level is never green!

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Dangit; I'm trying to find the ebook I bought when I was on my other computer. I would have thought it would have transferred over.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Dude, chicks are fifty-two percent of the poulation. I think for constant oral sex, we could form an army, install martial law, and make it green.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

The whole thing was a ton of stereotyping, some of which seems to have been done purely for the author's fetish and/or amusement. I mean, the nerd goes from being a bizarre dork to being a McGyver-like sex god. Hit a happy medium, people (a very happy medium.... anyway). Also, her hickness seems to have little to do with anything. Although, maybe there was supposed to be a "looks and assumptions can be deceiving" type deal; I think there was but it was kind of clumsy. Looks like one of her other books is about a similar situation.

Not that I don't understand writing smut that doesn't make sense to everyone but hey....

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

What's the new one called? Who is the author?

[arden-ranger.livejournal.com]

When are you running for dictator? 'Cause I can get behind that idea.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

One does not run for dictator. One walks up behind the president and whacks him upside the head until he starts drooling more than usual or it stops being fun, whichever comes first, then one declares themself dictator.

[arden-ranger.livejournal.com]

Well, you could take the Bush approach and get elected first then start being dictitorial.

Or we could do it your way. Is Tuesday good for you for whacking El Presidente until your arms are tired, or shall your legion of minions do that for you?

[cmstephens.livejournal.com]

Still like "Goodbye Earl", and still know all of the words. I wonder if it's still the only country song my brother's ever liked.
Have you ever heard the Cledus T. Judd parody, "Goodbye Squirrel"?

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

So, yeah, I found a straight man who reads romance novels the same day Bill O'Reilly defended Kerry's war record on the Factor. I keep waiting for it to rain frogs and underpants or for all of the planet's water to turn to Jello, but no go so far.

O'Reilly takes the high road! Dogs and cats living together!!

[adjectivegirl.livejournal.com]

Also, that terror alert thing needs to be REVERSED. So when we're all cowering in fear, the guys can distract us!

[akacat]

One walks up behind the president and whacks him upside the head until he starts drooling more than usual or it stops being fun

I just want to know why no one's done this yet.

Or maybe they have, and it just has no effect. Eek.

[laughingrat.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the wonderful country song where the woman shoots her abusive husband? Hurrah!

My friend t_ktl lives in Butler PA and loathes the country stations there; lots of sexist stuff, apparently some racist stuff, etc. Usual pop-inspired pseudo-country crap. She went out to California for a couple weeks recently and apparently out there when they play country, it's hardcore, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, etc. She was in heaven. :)

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Yup, that's the one. The Dixie Chicks are the only country band I can say I like all of their songs. (Although they're not totally country, but that probably helps.) Then again, I like a lot of Garth Brooks and Patsy Cline, and I didn't figure out until after he died that I liked a hell of a lot of Johnny Cash's stuff.

And all radio stations in PA suck. The only one I've ever found that was any good was the hard rock station up by my parents. They used to have a pretty great talk radio station with Bob & Tom and Don & Mike and Ron & Fez, but its ratings were really good so of course it had to shut down. *eye roll*

[lots42.livejournal.com]

"Um...we saw a guy in a turban yesterday. Green alert!"

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Everyone says the jelly bracelets are used for sex but it's just an urban legend.

It's not that uncommon

[redhawk.livejournal.com]

I tore through my mother's collection of Harlequins at a very tender age.

This probably explains a lot, come to think of it.

But seriously - I'll read anything. Anything at all. I'm a bibliovore.

Redhawk

romance novels + heteromales! documented occurances!

[sagejupiter.livejournal.com]

I've caught my dad reading harliquin romance novels....he was really bored at the time I guess...and out of westerns @_@