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You Know You're From Washington DC When...

You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where. (*snerk* Ain't that the truth.)

You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence.

You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location.

When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on I-66, 95, 395, 495, 50, 123, 29, or 270, it's a pretty good day.

There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going.

You pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined.

You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own.

"I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late.

"Finding a parking space" actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. (E.g.. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations.)

You've never once been to Wal-Mart and don't even know if there is one. (Unless of course, you're not from around here. I was listening to the Town Crier at work the other day and had to keep from laughing as he talked about his first trip to a Wal-Mart ver, that he took the day before. He's in his late thirties, by the way.)

When you say you're going to the mall and you don't mean shopping.

You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'. (Hee! Who does around here?)

You elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to "gently"
emind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT. (*dies* Okay, I've never elbowed them out of the way, but do withering glares in their direction count?)

Going to work early means being there by 9:00AM.

You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed by another in 90 seconds.

You call it Targét, not Target, and are well aware that the one in Alexandria is just a "tad different". (Er, no. I'd never even seen a Target outside of Career Opportunities until one opened in Dickson City last year.)

When Washington National Airport is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL", not "Reagan National". (Ha! Someone askd me today on the Metro whether the train we were on got off at Washington National, and I didn't even bat an eye when I answereed her.)

You can tell by people's cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood.

You've claimed that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capitol to explore.

You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center. (That's probably because I'm the last person who should give anyone directions.)

You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you.

You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it.

You know you've crossed into Northern Virginia, without ever seeing a sign, only because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0.

You know that Vietnam is no longer in the South Pacific, it's now been re-located to Seven Corners.

The few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia.

You realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR.

There is no such thing as North, South, East, or West on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!(Inner circle / outer circle) (Everything is always "go that way!" with me, I'm from Northern PA, for Christ's sake!)

You go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Ocean City, Skyline Drive, or the Outer Banks for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC

Snow means rain to you (Actually, it means snow to me, but I stay any longer in this area and it will mean rain. Bah, this weather's inconducive to winter wonderlands.)

Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways

You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere

You know at least 2 rowers

You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school

You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA (Jeez, I know it isn't, and I've only driven through southern VA)

You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA

You actually know goes on in Dupont circle

You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!!

You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work.

People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor.

You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro (Oh, for crying out loud, I just tried it, and I totally can. *hangs head*)

50% of your senior class went to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from DC.

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You Know You're From Pennsylvania When...

You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New
Jersey has always been "Jersey." (Yeah, and?)

You refer to Pennsylvania as "PA." (*snerk* And we're the only state I know of that does it, too.)

"You guys" is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men & women. (Uh, that's an eastern PA thing. People on the other side of the state say, "Youse guys." It's like two other worlds from east to west.)

You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?) ("No, djou?" No, did you?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd,
Duquesne, New Tripoli, Tunkhannock, Punxsutawney, Tamaqua, Susquehanna,
Allegheny, and Monongahela. (Are they really that hard? Seriously?)

You know what a "Mummer" is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least
highlights of the parade. (Uh, no.)

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays. (HA! Well, if they weren't, half the school wouldn't have been there anyways.)

You can use the phrase "fire hall wedding reception" and not even bat an eye.

You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least one
Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."

At least 5 people on your block have electric "candles" in all or most of
their windows all year long.

You know what a "Hex sign" is. (Southeastern PA! That's a Kutztown thing!)

You know what a "State Store" is, and your out of state friends find it
incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart. (Hell, I still consider that one of the perks of living in VA.)

You own only three condiments "A-1, Heinz 57 and Heinz ketchup".

Words like "hoagie", "crick", "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie",
"pierogies" and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you. (What, and they don't mean anything to anyone else? Anyone? Bueller?)

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast) and know others who do the same. (Your point? Sometimes it's better when it's cold.)

You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage
(Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.

One of the highlights of your life was a field trip to Penn's Cave and Horseshoe curve. (Nope, Northeastern PA meant a trip into the coal mine withe the giant kid-squishing doors.)

You know exactly what to do when your mother tells you to "red up" your room.

You know the time and location of every "wing night" in a 20 mile radius. (Hee! My aunt and uncle live down the street from the official second-best hot wings in Pennsylvania.)

You don't think people from Philly or Pittsburgh talk funny. (Well, they don't.)

You don't understand all the hype about Rolling Rock beer;
You've been drinking it for years even though Iron City is better.

You consider an exotic vacation to be a trip to Ocean City, Virginia Beach,
or Myrtle Beach.

Words like "hoagie", "chipped ham", and "pop" actually mean something to you. (The first two, yes. "Pop" is western PA -- I learned that during my first semester of college.)

You think very little of an Amish buggy on the road. (Well, I would if I weren't in NEPA, where there are no Amish.)

You learned long ago how to "step carefully" around the buggy tie-ups in the
supermarket parking lot.

You can go 2 weeks in winter without sunshine and think this is normal. (It's winter. Why should there be sunlight?)

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville,
Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns.

There is no such thing as a "Philly Cheesesteak".
It's just called a "Cheesesteak."

You know that Eucre is a card game and not a form of vomiting.

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know that it comes in
several colors: Red, Blue, White, Brown, Gold.

You know what REAL potpie is. (Mmm, potpie.)

You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.

Your turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing." (*buzzer* Wrong answer. It's stuffing. Although I do know people who call it filling, but whatever.)

You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west,"
and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike. (Well, it IS out west, and the turnpike's practically deserted compared to 81. Sheesh.)

When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand. (People put sand on the road? *mind boggles*)

Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe
that it really is a premium beer

You know that a green pepper is not a pepper at all but a "mango".

You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk
when you hear the word "snow."

You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato
chips, corn chips, pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or
that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna. (No, but I grew up twenty minutes from an asylum for the criminally insane. Does that count, or does it just explain a lot?)

You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables,
or crafts on the "honor system."

You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is
the most nearly perfect food on earth. (Well, I know that anything from a firehouse is really, really good.)

You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling
off today," and "They're calling for snow."

You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.

You only buy your beer and soda by the case. (Hey, it's cheaper that way, in the long run.)

You think the roads in any other state are smooth. (That's because they are.)

You know the Penn State cheer, and although you've
never attended Penn State, you are a most obnoxious
Penn State fan.

Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't
bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the
Gettysburg Battlefield. (Okay, that one's true.)

You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva. (Again, true.)

School closings due to snow take the radio stations
a half an hour to finish, because just about every town
has its own school district. (Yes, and none of them are all that big. If we combined our school districts the right way, they'd be huge. Not to mention that we'd miss out on all those town-appropriate insults we got to hurl in high school whenever an opposing team showed up for a home game.)

You have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the
glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium
beer for your enjoyment. . . . "

Elect pro-life Democrats and pro-choice Republicans
for Governor (*dies* Well, why else do you think our abortion laws are so fucked up?)

Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market?
Mind if I come with?"

Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a
whole nother issue."

You REALLY HATE antiquers. On Sunday mornings you would
scream "Go back to Jersey!" at least once on the way to church.

When you were a kid and somebody really pissed you
off, you said, "I'm gonna deck you!"

You know the expression, "Hey naw! Watchya dewin'?"

You know where to buy "Opera Fudge" and that it has
absolutely no connection to the Opera.

The only Jewish people that you've ever met have been
from New York or New Jersey. (Do you have any idea how much you have to suspend your disbelief watching Brendan Fraser play a Jewish kid from Scranton when you're watching "School Ties" if you're from PA?)

You love the Phillies (unless they stink) in which case
you love the Orioles (unless they stink) in which case
you solemnly swear that you've never even liked the
Phillies or the Orioles, but have always been a Penn
State fan. (That's only up to a certain point north, and then it starts getting into New York City teams. Then again, Scranton's got a Philly farm team, so it still kinda works.)

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Pennsylvania.

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