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Aug. 22nd, 2004 10:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apocalypsosYou know, I loathe Seventh Heaven with a fiery, violent passion, but I can't say I'm not amused by the Television Without Pity summaries, and so, it's really funny reading the spoilers for the next season.
Seems that Simon (the David Gallagher character, who seems to be the only character anyone can stand) is going to have sex before marriage. Oooooooooooooooooooo. It's vastly hilarious to read the TWoP spoiler page, because everybody is basically saying that Brenda Hampton (the head writer, I think it is) is going to what she's done whenever this has come up in the past and turn the girl having premarital sex into a filthy lying whore and the boy having sex into an innocent victim.
Hell, I'll go a step further and say that she'll write it so that afterwards Simon feels bad and signs up for one of those "Give me my virginity back!" abstinence programs. Quite possibly at verbal gunpoint, with Reverend Camden threatening to pile stifling platitudes he learned from Jonathan Kent upon the boy's pretty, pretty head.
And then there's the part where Reverend Camden and the old ball and chain drag Simon and his little fuckbuddy out to dinner, where it turns out she's a minister's daughter. Well, really, who isn't these days? And just to get on Reverend Camden's bad side, she tells him about how her minister father has a program where he teaches teens about sex, not abstinence. Of course, Reverend Camden is shocked -- shocked! -- that lots of teens from his own parish are going, because as I think we all know even without watching the show, he's certainly not going to find a teenager who wants to be properly educated on anything in his own home, much less the evil, evil deed that produces ... um, pestilence and starvation? No, wait, that's not it. Oh, I remember. Babies and orgasms. And God knows how evil those are.
(Well, teens+babies=bad, but still, that can be prevented by a trip to CVS. Unless, of course, the guy at CVS is a raving fanatic who won't give you birth control because it goes against his religion, which really makes you wonder why the hell he's even doing that job. Aaaaand now I'm rambling.)
Seems that Simon (the David Gallagher character, who seems to be the only character anyone can stand) is going to have sex before marriage. Oooooooooooooooooooo. It's vastly hilarious to read the TWoP spoiler page, because everybody is basically saying that Brenda Hampton (the head writer, I think it is) is going to what she's done whenever this has come up in the past and turn the girl having premarital sex into a filthy lying whore and the boy having sex into an innocent victim.
Hell, I'll go a step further and say that she'll write it so that afterwards Simon feels bad and signs up for one of those "Give me my virginity back!" abstinence programs. Quite possibly at verbal gunpoint, with Reverend Camden threatening to pile stifling platitudes he learned from Jonathan Kent upon the boy's pretty, pretty head.
And then there's the part where Reverend Camden and the old ball and chain drag Simon and his little fuckbuddy out to dinner, where it turns out she's a minister's daughter. Well, really, who isn't these days? And just to get on Reverend Camden's bad side, she tells him about how her minister father has a program where he teaches teens about sex, not abstinence. Of course, Reverend Camden is shocked -- shocked! -- that lots of teens from his own parish are going, because as I think we all know even without watching the show, he's certainly not going to find a teenager who wants to be properly educated on anything in his own home, much less the evil, evil deed that produces ... um, pestilence and starvation? No, wait, that's not it. Oh, I remember. Babies and orgasms. And God knows how evil those are.
(Well, teens+babies=bad, but still, that can be prevented by a trip to CVS. Unless, of course, the guy at CVS is a raving fanatic who won't give you birth control because it goes against his religion, which really makes you wonder why the hell he's even doing that job. Aaaaand now I'm rambling.)
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Date: 2004-08-22 01:09 pm (UTC)because all the characters are quite severely mentally ill.