apocalypsos | Spotted on IMDb ... (Reply)

"Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are hoping the new mansion they've just purchased will be ready in time for their wedding. It could take a while, because it takes a long time to weld together a hundred trailer homes." -- Graham Norton, as quoted on TheSuperficial.com

*dies laughing*

Also, there was this, er, lovely tidbit ... Alec Baldwin's younger brother actor Stephen Baldwin is throwing his support behind President George W Bush in the forthcoming Presidential election - because his country's leader is "being led by God". The former liberal and now born-again Christian is attending the Republican National Convention in New York to cheer on the current premier, who he deems has more faith than Democrat Presidential candidate John Kerry. Baldwin tells gossip site Pagesix.Com, "I'm there to support the man I believe has the most faith. That's who I'm voting for. I believe the next president should be a guy who is being led by God. I believe there is one guy, and that's the guy I want to vote for." As for any disharmony between him and his Democratic-supporting siblings Alec and William, Baldwin comments, "I don't have a perception about that."

Okay, so let me get this straight. It's not enough to simply believe Bush might be a better president (I don't agree with you on that, but fine, whatever). Now, he's led by God. It's God's own party. Bush talks to God. God drags Bush along on his freaking Skee-ball constitutionals.

Let me help you wackos out. God does not back political candidates. And if he does, do you really think he's going to tell you? "Everybody else on the planet might want our competitor as President, but we have God's vote!" Give it a rest. You're giving halfway decent (and far less nutty) Christians a bad name.

And have you ever thought about how it might look to other countries? No, of course not, because who cares what the other countries fucking think? Herein lies your problem. Please follow this basic list down to the inevitable conclusion.

1. Bush is being led by God.
2. Bush is a war president.
3. Bush is fighting a war on terror.
4. Terrorists attacked us on September 11th.
5. The terrorists were Al-Quada.
6. Al-Quada is full of Muslim extremists.
7. To find Al-Quada, we have to look in countries full of Muslims.
8. Bush has already invaded two Muslim countries.
9. If Bush is led by God, this must be another Crusade! Yay!

Maybe you don't remember reading about the last Crusade, because you killed a lot of brain cells making Bio-Dome and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. But they sucked.

Tell you what. Let's do the same thing you have to do with any other person's ringing endorsement of a political candidate. You get it in writing from the Almighty, and we'll talk. Until then, I'd much rather God be left alone to hang out with Alan Rickman and harrass Bob Denver.

P.S. What is this "I don't have a perception about that" shit? You're telling me neither one of them called you up and ripped you a new asshole directly through the phone lines? Or that you just don't remember because you lost those brain cells making Threesome?

P.P.S. Damn you for making The Usual Suspects.

P.P.P.S. You have something very brown and disgusting on your right shoulder.

EDIT: If you've been skipping out on