Spotted on IMDb ...

[apocalypsos]

"Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are hoping the new mansion they've just purchased will be ready in time for their wedding. It could take a while, because it takes a long time to weld together a hundred trailer homes." -- Graham Norton, as quoted on TheSuperficial.com

*dies laughing*

Also, there was this, er, lovely tidbit ... Alec Baldwin's younger brother actor Stephen Baldwin is throwing his support behind President George W Bush in the forthcoming Presidential election - because his country's leader is "being led by God". The former liberal and now born-again Christian is attending the Republican National Convention in New York to cheer on the current premier, who he deems has more faith than Democrat Presidential candidate John Kerry. Baldwin tells gossip site Pagesix.Com, "I'm there to support the man I believe has the most faith. That's who I'm voting for. I believe the next president should be a guy who is being led by God. I believe there is one guy, and that's the guy I want to vote for." As for any disharmony between him and his Democratic-supporting siblings Alec and William, Baldwin comments, "I don't have a perception about that."

Okay, so let me get this straight. It's not enough to simply believe Bush might be a better president (I don't agree with you on that, but fine, whatever). Now, he's led by God. It's God's own party. Bush talks to God. God drags Bush along on his freaking Skee-ball constitutionals.

Let me help you wackos out. God does not back political candidates. And if he does, do you really think he's going to tell you? "Everybody else on the planet might want our competitor as President, but we have God's vote!" Give it a rest. You're giving halfway decent (and far less nutty) Christians a bad name.

And have you ever thought about how it might look to other countries? No, of course not, because who cares what the other countries fucking think? Herein lies your problem. Please follow this basic list down to the inevitable conclusion.

1. Bush is being led by God.
2. Bush is a war president.
3. Bush is fighting a war on terror.
4. Terrorists attacked us on September 11th.
5. The terrorists were Al-Quada.
6. Al-Quada is full of Muslim extremists.
7. To find Al-Quada, we have to look in countries full of Muslims.
8. Bush has already invaded two Muslim countries.
9. If Bush is led by God, this must be another Crusade! Yay!

Maybe you don't remember reading about the last Crusade, because you killed a lot of brain cells making Bio-Dome and The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas. But they sucked.

Tell you what. Let's do the same thing you have to do with any other person's ringing endorsement of a political candidate. You get it in writing from the Almighty, and we'll talk. Until then, I'd much rather God be left alone to hang out with Alan Rickman and harrass Bob Denver.

P.S. What is this "I don't have a perception about that" shit? You're telling me neither one of them called you up and ripped you a new asshole directly through the phone lines? Or that you just don't remember because you lost those brain cells making Threesome?

P.P.S. Damn you for making The Usual Suspects.

P.P.P.S. You have something very brown and disgusting on your right shoulder.

EDIT: If you've been skipping out on metaquotes, this one is hilarious.

Comments

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

It's God's own party.

As someone on metaquotes pointed out, that translates to: Hezbollah. Coincidence? I think not.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Ah, but you missed one very important thing:

6. Al-Quada is full of Muslim extremists.
7. The Muslim extremeists believe they are being led by God.
8. The Muslim God and the Christian God are the same God with a few tweaks along the timeline.

Therefore, the same God is on both sides.

Now that's fucked up.

To quote something I think I may have made up myself, but can't remember: "There is no good or evil. Only hate."

[saltroseortopaz.livejournal.com]

...okay, now imagining President Bush in like, armour. On a horse. With less fun "yay I'm a knight" and more "gosh this stuff smells after a while" and "toppling over! toppling over!"

If nothing else, politics is the best joke I've ever heard.

[/goes back to lurking]

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Because what God really wants on this planet is a bunch of war and dissention and stuff.

Then again, he probably gets a kick out of it, sitting back, eating popcorn, watching the festivities. I just wish he'd come down, face them both down, and say, "Lay off, you assholes!"

[avariel-wings.livejournal.com]

...Someone really needs to tell this guy about separation of church and state.

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

But I liked Threesome. I really hated Bio-Dome, though If you hadn't posted something about that, I was going to...um. "Accidently" spam you with it. Because I actually fell out of my chair when I saw this at NYPost.com. I should sue him for emotional distress and whiplash.

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

Have you read about how God treats his angels? Dude, he incinerated the Angel of Peace! No wonder there's so much strife around here.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

That explains so much. *sigh*

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

I suppose I shouldn't mention he also incinerated the Angel of Truth at the same time, should I.

[snellios.livejournal.com]

Is he really trying to suggest that Bush has the Divine Right? That is so, like, 14th century.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are definitely people (more than you'd think) who think that Bush is being led by God to start the end of the world (in Under the Banner of Heaven, Mormon fundamentalist schools hang up pictures of the WTC, excited that the end of the world will be coming soon). That's why they don't care about the environment -- the world will be ending soon anyway.

[apocalypsos.livejournal.com]

That is so sad, and more than a little scary. I mean, I would love an apocalypse, but at least I know that's because I'm a sadistic fuck.

[anne-jumps.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's like there's no room for doubt, and never mind the people who do NOT think the world is ending and would like to NOT pollute the shit out of it.

[apiphile.livejournal.com]

Psst: commentary on the RNC that might amuse you (you, in particular)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/anw/201613.html

[tree-pretty.livejournal.com]

Of course he has biblical evidence: a burning Bush speaking God's words to Moses!

Of course! Why didn't we see it all along?!?

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Goooo God. That's smooth, that is.

Any other angels bite the dust? Can't remember the bible I read as a wee lass and as a not so wee lass...

[gruyere.livejournal.com]

God votes Perot.

[budclare.livejournal.com]

When was this? *is very amused*

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

You inspired me.

[ladysorka]

I have never understood why they think God is on their side, anyways. I mean, if he is, than he had one hell of a rebellious son.

I mean, Jesus was a socialist. *g*

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

This is according to Jewish legend, actually. The angel of peace (who apparently had no name) and the angel of truth, Amitiel, both opposed the creation of Man. And their punishment for being vocal about it was to be incinerated by God. (Not only them but /all/ the hosts under them.)

[fallofrain.livejournal.com]

According to Jewish legend, this happened before Man ever even existed.

[budclare.livejournal.com]

If the Angel of Truth is dead, then everything (including this sentence) is a lie.

Life makes so much more sense now. Unless I'm lying.

[camwyn]

Yes, but no one in the President's family is on fire. If Bush REALLY wants people to think he's speaking for God, he ought to see if he can set himself on fire yet not be consumed.

I'd pay attention then.

[azurelunatic]

This is, then, the opportunity to make the obligatory "hed is pastede on yey!" reference.

[azurelunatic]

*ahem*

"Liar, liar, pants on fire?"

[ampersand.livejournal.com]

You and mildlyeccentric win.

[saltroseortopaz.livejournal.com]

[beam]
I do but my humble best.

[admires]

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Well, it's balance. Alec is a freaking psychotic nutbag and Stephen luvs Jaysus.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

My crusade iz pastede on yey!

[lots42.livejournal.com]

The bright side to an apocalypse is a chance a good bookstore or two might survive. I can finally catch up on all the Transmetropolitan comics I've missed. (Apparently Spider goes even -more- insane)

[storm-maven.livejournal.com]

Whatever respect I have for the man: GONE!!! Why? Because he's stupid as hell. Even if I believed in that ish, there is no way I'd admit to it. Especially to the press. And you know his brothers probably lumped his a$$ up seriously. I guess he's not invited to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Because he won't be praising God Almighty. He'll be praising Bush AlStupid.

[tree-pretty.livejournal.com]

Personally, I'd laugh. But that's just me...

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Well God is a sadist, so he's probably pissing himself laughing. Or...

Bush looked around. He had them all within the palm of his hand. Speaking of which, his hand felt funny. Anyway, he had to remember this speech, because otherwise no cookie for him!

"God has told me, when I speak to him in our King sized bed at night, that he wants me to invade Canada."

"No I didn't!" A voice came from the back.

"SILENCE!" Security grabbed the over-weight figure out of the press room, and proceeded to beat him up, as was legal.

"Anyway, God loves us all. Except for non-Bushers. He hates them."

"No I don't!"

"So let us celebrate with an orgy, as per God's orders!"

_{"I'll get yooooou!"}

[georgiamagnolia.livejournal.com]

I love Graham. (much hearting of the Norton!)

And if Bush is the war president led by god to crusade against the terrorists and believers of other versions of god and start the last world war and stuff...


Doesn't that make Bush the AntiChrist?

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

=D

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

Yay!
Do we get prizes?

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

I think that codpiece is welded on. =P

[ingole.livejournal.com]

[channonyarrow.livejournal.com]

Thanks! This is the Hagadah, I believe it's called? (It's been WAY too long...)

[ampersand.livejournal.com]

You get internet cookies.

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

=D

=D

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

XD
Hi
I see that you have 'unknown' as your icon credit, I made that icon a while ago. I don't mind if people credit me or not, I just thought you might want to know.

Re: =D

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Credited!

[myniamh.livejournal.com]

cool, you don't have to though =D